All her dreams are made of strawberry lemonade . . .

Here's to an amazing 2008.

Wishing you all a very happy new year. All the best to you and your loved ones.

On a side note, even though I'm very unhappy about tonight's arrangements, I'm feeling very positive and excited for this new year to come. I know it's going to be great. : )))

Not unhappy because of where I'm spending New Years. I'm happy I'll be with my family and people who are excited to bring in the new year with me.

Not happy because ultimately, it was you who chose not to be with me. Not me. And I hate it so much that you despise the holidays and ruin it for me because of that. And I think it's something big enough to destroy us.. though I wish it wasn't.

This is how it is: I remember growing up and all the excitement my mom would have trimming the house with decorations and being always so content and happy around all the holidays.. and my dad not giving a shit and being such a killjoy. He hated them all. I don't even know if hate was a good word to use.. he was just indifferent and could give a shit about any single thing. And he let it be known. Over and over again. And he'd kill my mom's spirit. And she had lots of holiday spirit. So, there. You have it. Why it bothers me so GOD DAMN much that you hate the holidays. I don't know how to be ok with that.

So, happy new year everyone... here's to the end of this rocky year.
I'll drink to that.

How I Relate to Other People....

Mercury Conjunct Saturn with an orb between 1 and 3 degrees

You are a serious person and inclined to be somewhat inflexible in your thinking. Since you tend to be rather judgmental, you could only be happy with someone who is in philosophical agreement with you and conceptualizes the world as you do. Sometimes you are rather taciturn.

Venus Sextile Saturn with an orb of less than 1 degree

While you may not be emotionally demonstrative or sentimental, you love deeply, lastingly and loyally. You may be strongly drawn to people either much older or much younger than you are. Love, for you, has always entailed an enormous amount of responsibility.

Sun SemiSquare Venus with an orb of less than 1 degree

Your love nature is very turbulent. You form relationships impulsively and then worry it's with the wrong person. There seems to be a dichotomy between the person you know yourself to be and the person you feel you should be in order to be valued and loved.

Venus Square Jupiter with an orb between 3 and 5 degrees

You may be overly self-indulgent and inclined toward excesses of eating, drinking, sex or anything which gives you pleasure. You would not be comfortable with someone who was too reserved. You can be quite extravagant both emotionally and financially.

Mercury Sextile Venus with an orb between 1 and 5 degrees

You are creative and charming. You speak well, live well and are fond of people who have taste, wit, good manners and share your aesthetic interests. Your emotional ties must also be on your intellectual level or your interest will soon begin to wane.

Mercury Sextile Uranus with an orb between 1 and 5 degrees

You have an innovative turn of mind and may have a talent for an unusual subject. Your ideas are often considered to be ahead of your time. You can be somewhat impersonal and detached - even with close ties. You need to share controversial ideas with friends.

Are you in or out..?

You caught my fall making out on alcohol
An innocent mistake
Falling in love on accident, I didn't mean to

Constant danger, constant stranger
we started out so sweet
And now we're both feeling incomplete
oh I don't know how much I can take
We're on, we're off

We're knocked down and getting up
We try to fight it, oh the agony and ecstasy
and Its painful but it's worth it
'Cause you're so foxy and I think you're kinda good for me
oh You're so foxy

Mental earthquakes, conversation mistakes
and My army of words
I can't believe you're crawling back for more out of desire
Destiny or chemicals, emotions are susceptible
And you I can't resist
I can't seem to walk away from this
So show me how much you can take, are you in or out?

You're knocked down and getting up
You kinda like it, oh the agony and ecstasy
And its painful, I'm sorry
But you're so foxy I can't let you get away from me
'Cause you're so foxy
youre so foxy to me
im so lucky
'cause youre so foxy
So get out of my way I'm feeling so in love today
It can't be understood
And when we're feeling good its really good
oh The kind of good that feels like fate
We're back and forth

We're knocked down and getting up
We try to fight it,oh the agony and ecstasy
And its painful but it's your fault
'Cause you're so foxy and you got yourself all over me
oh You're so foxy

And I can't take it, it's hard to take it
I can't take it
Its painful but it's worth it
'Cause you're so foxy
I think you must be good for me

My dick is hard.

Girly MAN!!! lol... this is what happens when you're snowed in and bored out of yer mind. Yay for snow days and Erasure!!! : ))))))))))))))))

*** Yes..i look like ass. lol i just rolled out of bed..which is why my hair looks like a dirty rat nest.. lol and my sister Carolina didn't wanna be in the camera. ho bag.

Most prettifuL. <3

Some songs you should listen to:


I want you all over me...

like L.. A.. M.. B..

they have these on sale at Winner's for half the price!! I want it. I want it now
: ((

You know.. Christmas is just around the corner... so, GET shopping already. Pshaw.
hehe ;))))

It'll hit you one day.

My friend posted this and I thought it was kinda sweet... but kinda sad too. Anyways.. thought I'd share it with you. So, a word of advice to all of you out there: when you think you may have something good, don't be foolish and take things for granted. Because the day when you finally realize this........ well.. it may just be too late.


one day you're going to want that specific girl. that girl that knew she wasn't perfect, but tried to be for you. that girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you and love you the only way she knew she could. that girl who sees your flaws, but values them as much as your strengths. that girl who still can't bring herself to hate you, even though you probably deserve it. that girl who saw past your pretty face and treasured parts of you that no one else appreciated. that girl who realizes she may never have your heart, but will carry the image of you in hers forever. and by the time you realize that's the girl you're looking for, she'll be with the guy who already knew.

Triste per te...

...triste per me.

Ti sposerò perchè...

I do what I have to do...

Just when you think it's been shattered beyond repair.. it shatters into a million pieces more.

You need a bun to bite Benny Lava?

Ok. Seriously.. you have not seen everything.. until you have seen this. It's probably the single most funniest thing I have ever seen. It's worth watching. SO, watch it now.. piss your pants.. and show everyone else.. trust me on this one. I see the nuns are gay. :))))

You're all I ever want & need.

I love you. (X infinity)

'Tis the season : )))))

Ok, seriously.. this has got to be one of the funniest things ever. My sister sent me this in an email and I just about died laughing. Check it out.. and then make one yourself. :))))))

**clickies here**

p.s. Did you know yesterday was day 333 of the year?

A word of advice.

Try not to hope too much. Try not to hold someone up so highly. Try not to hold your breath.

Disappointment still stings like hell each and every single time.

: (((

Sweet Keepsakes.

I still have this...

...and it makes me smile.


Should've done something...

...but i've done it enough.

Get smarter for a greater cause!

This website has made it so that they quiz you on your vocabulary and for every word you get correct, they donate 10 grains of rice to the hungry. "10 grains isn't that much???" you might say... but well, the point is that you continue to play and it adds up when loads of people are clicking away at this. So, while you're feeding the hungry, you're learning all sorts of new and interesting words and building up your vocab. How can you go wrong? Visit it, spend hours on it and then pass it along to all your friends.

I would like to leave this city.

I <3 you, Indiana Jones.



Left or Right?

I just don't know which way to go....


....and you're not giving me any reasons to choose your way.

It hurts and I can't remember sunlight..

Ok. I am officially disappointed.

I was so beyond excited when I heard that Early Winter was going to be Gwen's new single because if you don't already know, it's my favourite song off the entire Sweet Escape album. It's so beautiful.. It really is a gorgeous song. I've had it playing on my xanga for about a year now if you want to hear the entire song (go there for those who know the link to it.. otherwise. tough titties). Ok.. so, what can I say. The video is out.. and much like the 4 in the morning video.. the Early Winter video leaves a LOT to be desired. Well, sure Gwen looks fabulous in it. We already KNOW Gwen looks fabulous, we don't need to reassert that anymore than it already has been. So.. what's my problem? Well, with such a beautiful and profound song like this one, it lacks a storyline.. just more Gwen rolling around and being her pretty little self. For those who just want to see Gwen looking fantastic.. you shall not be disappointed.. this video will have you most excited. But... .i want a storyline..when you're able to do so much with a video.. why not do it? I want a storyline.., a really dramatic and sad one full of despair and aching and all other sorts of painful and melancholic emotions.. because that's what the song's about. It seems promising at first with the dood thrown in there making it seem like there's going to be some sort of love story happening.. but alas.. no.. there isn't. Just Gwen frolicking with the boy and rolling and giggling on the floor. Loads of Gwen close-ups and more Gwen rolling about. I'm so beyond disappointed and I was really hoping for a lot more than this.. especially with my huge disappointment with 4 in the morning. To make matters worse, they've cut several parts of song short.. yes.. they're cut short. why? well, i haven't the slightest idea why.. and frankly.. i couldn't care less. This is one video i do not care to watch.. and I'll just continue to listen to the song on its own. It's still my favourite song.. and if you get a chance, listen to the full track on its own, sans video.

Here's the video. Let me know what you think:

Are you my friend?

Take the quiz.. and see just how much you know about me. ; )))))

Good luck sucka faces!

Take My Quiz on

Can you Ace my quiz?
Let's Find Out!

Hello, my name is Giuseppina..and I'm a sing-a-holic.

haha.. yah..there's no other way to put it. and to top it all off, I'm incredibly obsessed and addicted with this karaoke site called singsnap.. I have over 200 recordings on there. Some videos too..some damn hilarious videos too with props and wigs and friends and sisters.etc. haha always a fun time.
: )))))

Anyhoo, I just found out i can link them onto sites and stuff.. so, i'm gunna post the last song I just did.. and it's not very good at all.. lol... but i'm not really caring. I know i'm not the best singer out there. Plus, I got a wicked ass sore throat/cough thing happening right now which was killer while I was trying to sing this song. But anyhoos.. i likes it. so, i'm going to TORTURE all your asses with my craptacular singing. bahahaha don't be too mean. please. thanks. : )))))


So. here it is. My great big fantastical singing debut on blogger. w00t w00t!

Gwen is a carbon copy of her.

Seriously.. the similarities are insane. Check it out. Meet Cyrinda Foxe.. and no, I've never heard of her before so, please excuse my ignorance. She's Mia Tyler's mom (i love her) and was married to Steven Tyler of Aerosmith. She was pretty much a groupie most of her life and hung out with the big guys. Anyhoo.. as soon as I saw these photos of her.. the likeness to singer Gwen Stefani is incredible! I wonder if Gwen knows who she is. Maybe she's trying to look like her.. who knows. But she has that same style happening too.. weird. Anyhoo, check it out. This is awesome... especially the last photo.

Cyrinda Foxe (Tyler)

and check her out in the video Jean Genie by David Bowie (she was the inspiration for the song)

p.s. if you don't know what Gwen Stefani looks like.. then you have bigger issues at hand.. :P

Between a rock and a hard place.

I've never felt so insecure about anything in my whole entire life than how I do about this right now. And I haven't the slightest clue on how to go about things. And I'm left feeling so sad and confused and unsure and angry. And I don't know who I should blame. I wish it were easier to talk about things, but lately I've been keeping it all inside because I honestly don't even know how I'm feeling about things and what I want. It's so hard for me to talk about my emotions. They're all over the place. And right now.. they're just about ready to jump on the next train and high tail it outta here.

Fashion Sense in the 70s.

Ok.. i did not write this myself. It was someone else's blog. I'd link you.. but it was passed on through an email forward and I don't have the original address. But I had to share with everyone because it was just way too damn hilarious. Enjoy!

Last weekend I put an exhaust fan in the ceiling for my wife's grandfather.
While my wife's brother and I were fitting the fan in between the joists, we
found something under the insulation. What we found was this:

A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It's not often blog fodder just falls in my
lap, but holy hell this was two solid inches of it, right there for the
taking. I thumbed through it quickly and found my next dining room set,
which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels:

Also, I am totally getting this for my bathroom:

There's plenty more home furnishings where those came from, however I'm not
going to bore you with that. Instead, I'm going to bore you with something
else. The clothes.

The clothes are fantastic.

Here's how to get your ass kicked in elementary school:

Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably
needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three
inches long. And way to pull them up to your armpits, grandpa.

Here's how to get your ass kicked in high school:

This kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul, who is pretending to
be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an
undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.

Here's how to get your ass kicked on the golf course:

This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally
appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house.
Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around
your cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing
on is because the warden made you, and as a one-piece, it's slightly more
effective as a deterrent against ass-rapery.

Here's how to get your ass kicked pretty much anywhere:

If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget
has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't, although
you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened - or if it hasn't
happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his matching
coffee cup.

Here's how to get your ass kicked at the beach:

He looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just a>bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.

How to get your ass kicked in a meeting:

If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you
can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including
termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that
orange jumpsuit.

How to get your ass kicked on every day up to and including St. Patrick's

Dear god in heaven, I don't believe that color exists in nature. There is NO
excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you're working as a body
guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.

In this next one, Your Search For VALUE Ends at Penneys.

As does your search for chest hair.

And this -- Seriously. No words.

Oh wait, it turns out that there are words after all. Those words are What.
The. F*ck. I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest
hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.

Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I'm guessing
that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike.
These couples look happy, don't they?

I am especially fond of this one, which I have entitled "Cowboy Chachi Loves
You Best."

And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of
matching bathing suits. That, and a blonde girl with a look on her face that
says "I love the way your junk fights against that fabric."

Then, after the lovin', you can relax in your one-piece matching terry cloth

I could go on, but I'm tired, and my eyes hurt from this trip back in time.>I think it's the colors. That said, I will leave you with these tasteful
little numbers:

Man, that's sexy.

Mamma! mamma! mammma!!

one of my favourite clips ever!! :))))

Lack of Motivation...

I don't know what my deal is.. but ever since I've been sick, I've lost so much.. if not all.. motivation. I have no desire to do anything or accomplish anything or any will to just move forward. I feel like I'm just kinda stuck in this one page. I'm not sure if it's because I've fallen so far behind from being absent from school for so long or if I picked up some mild depression from being stuck in bed for so long. Or maybe I feel so overwhelmed with so many emotions that I'm experiencing a system shut down.. who the hell knows anymore. Blahh...

Anyhoo, my good friend is getting married in two weeks. We went out for her stagette Friday night and it was a blast.. lots of dancing.. and even more embarrassing moments for the bride-to-be. I went for my dress fitting yesterday and it was actually really beautiful. Although, I still have NO idea how I want my hair (obviously an updo of sorts.. but yah.. no idea what..). Anyhoo.. congratulations Mari. I wish you all the best and lots of luck with married life. You'll need it.. hehehe just keeeeding. ; )) Love yah! *mUaH*

Mini whores...?

Seriously.. first of all.. i was never all too keen on the *sexy* look for Halloween.. where chicks think that Halloween is their get-out-of-jail free card for them to go prancing around like a bunch of two bit whores. Although, I'll openly admit I may have worn something unusually low cut or short for Halloween a few times. But mostly it was the imaginative and/or most gruesome/gory costumes that I took a liking to.

So... basically, how far do we push the envelope over here? Because.. isn't it a little bit of a concern when our kids start going trick-or-treating looking like hooker wannabes? Someone posted the following link in a MySpace bulletin and I wanted to share because it's pretty darn disturbing if you ask me. You be the judge of it.

Kids' costumes: Too Risque?
(click for news article)

Peace out.
& Happy Halloween.

Fuck Forever.

All our life, us girls are supposed to play this role. You're groomed into it from when you were a tiny tot. Get older, get married and pop out a few kids. Be a good wifey and mommy and just be the best you could be.. in a motherly fashion. It's hard not to fall into that already laid out train track that's chugging along forward to that predetermined destination. But lately, with all this buzzing around my ears, I find myself rethinking this so much. So much that I'm completely turned off to the whole idea of marriage. Maybe I'll change my mind later on.. but as it stands right now, I really don't care for it any more. Not because you have to. Not because you should. Not because it's the next step. Not because it's been so long and you should get on with it already. Not for any of those reasons. I'm tired of feeling guilty and ashamed for not choosing the path that others want me to choose. My path is what makes me most happy. Not you; or you; or even you. And I'll be damned if I ever marry for wrong intentions. So, you can have it all for yourself cuz... I just don't want it anymore.

*tosses bouquet*

this is halloween.. this is halloween..

You all know damn well it's my favourite time of year.. : ))
So.. in honour of the upcoming holiday.. here are two of my favourite edited photos of me from the Fix My Pic group on flickr. Seriously.. hahaha can it get more awesome than this?? i think NOT! : ))) --- i did not edit these. i just took the original shots.

ME! as a Zombie!! *mua ha ha ha* it's ridiculously creepy and insane. i love it soo much!!!!! RAWR!!!


(thank you escaner!)

and me as some wicked awsesome vampire of sorts? i have no idea.. but it's freakish.. and it looks so amazing at the same time. seriously. :))


(thank you CadenceStarr!)

K, that's about it. Hope you all have a wonderful rest of the week and get yer costumes ready! w00t w00t! :))))))

Goodbye, my hopeless dream...


I'm feeling really bummed out and disappointed about things right now. My heart aches. I'm sad about things and I wish so bad things could be different. I'm sorry for the pain people have to endure and I wish we never had to go through so many of the things we need to go through in this lifetime. It's not fair.. it's unjust.. it's so painful.. and it's just downright crummy.

Look After You

If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you
And I'll look after you

If ever there was a doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you, After you
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh, oh

It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby...

Jesus Christ.

Tempesta d'Amore

I'm obsessed with this show. :))))))))

haha I normally don't like soap operas, but I grew up watching all the Italian ones. So, I'm totally hooked on this one and it's great fun. It's been quite a long time since I've actually been into one and followed it regularly. I'm a geek. :)))

(Most Italian soaps they show here are dubbed from other languages.. mostly Spanish, Portuguese, etc.. This one is originally in German and it's called Sturm der Liebe.)

It also helps when one of the lead guys is friggen damn ass hot and way beyond cute.. way too yummeh. That would be Gregor (Cristian).. --
but really Christoff Arnold.

Maybe I'll have to go visit my uncle and his restaurant in Frankfurt afterall... ; ))))))

Anyhoo, I've wasted too much time already. Gotta go.


Workin' it..

bahaha my sister is going to kill me for posting this on here.. Anyhoo, this was us making fools out of ourselves.. as we normally do.. cuz that's how we roll. tee hee. One night, me Lu and Mari made a bunch of freakin hilarious karaoke videos.. with props! This one doesn't have any props however.. lol but.. it's still funny as heck!! hehe.. Anyhoo, check it out.. look at my bad ass (dork) self bustin a move up on her shit. hahahahahahahahahhahahahaaha

( Click HERE if video isn't working. )

i seriously need to make a video with Mari dancing/singing and play it at her wedding. I know how much she'll LOVE that... *mua ha ha ha ha* hehehe

Happy Hump Day!!!

Out into the world.

Just a quick update. So, I'm feeling a lot better. Saw my doctor on Friday and he gave me the green light to go back to school this week and back to work the following week. So, I go back to school today. I thought I'd be more excited.. but I'm feeling really overwhelmed. I missed a lot of classes and I feel as if I'll be so behind. I really hope it won't affect too much as I still have the entire year to make up for it .. but you know me.. the worrier. They couldn't figure out what exactly I had.. test after test showed nothing. All they can see now is that it's going away. So, hopefully, it'll stay away. I feel about 80% better. I have some slight aches and pains still and a bit of fatigue but other than that, I do feel loads better and I'm mostly glad that I can actually go out and about now and see my friends. :)))

The weather's starting to get chilly.. and I hate that. My bed is cozy.. and I'll be honest, I'm kinda enjoying the idea of staying under my duvet for the rest of the day.. lol .. maybe I'm a teenie bit sad that I'm leaving the comfort of my cozy bed and home.. since I've been here for a freakin month.

It's mid October.. and I have a whole lot on my plate and way too much to sort out. I might just lose my mind.. finances are a sucky thing indeed.

Have a good one.

Heaven in my mouth.

dood. haha since i've been sick.. i've been having this insane craving for Caramilk Thick... never had it? NO?? yer sooo missing out. this shit is seriously soo great. once you have this... the regular caramilk.. just won't be enough. lol.

soo.. no one's been able to find it.. it hasn't been at the drugstores.. etc. well, i finally got one yesterday.. and NOW i am content!! eeee all hail the yummies chocolate! mind you.. i must admit that it doesn't taste up to par.. cuz since i've been sick.. nothing tastes as good anymore.. *pouts*

but i'm still happy. :)))))

Wishing you all a very most fabulous Thanksgiving Weekend!

Do I want to know the answer?

I can't sleep. I'm a nervous wreck. I got a call early today from my doctor's office saying that they got my labs back and that I have to come in to see my doctor. Well.. from past experiences, I only get call backs when there's something wrong with my test results. And.. it's been quite rare. In fact.. it was only once or twice before. With me being so sick these past few weeks.. I must say, my mind's going a mile a minute and I'm terrified of what he has to tell me. Sure, it could be nothing.. or something small.. but it could be something else too.

There's no way I'm sleeping a wink tonight. My anxiety is through the roof and I'm a panic about what the doctor has to tell me about my test results. But.. at least it's an answer? ugh.... *cringes*

Thank you sooo much to everyone who has been soooo awesome and supportive and caring and just incredible. I totally love you guys so much. I couldn't get through these days without my awesome friends to listen to me bitch and whine constantly about this lameness I'm going through. You're golden. : )))) *xxxoooo*

Off to try and sleep. Tomorrow is the big day.

Wish me luck!

Week three.

Yah... so, perhaps I spoke a bit too soon? I went to see my doctor on Monday. After giving me a check up and looking at my blood results, doctors orders are that I don't return to work .. OR school for the next little while. What the fuck?

Apparently, this virus I have is pretty hardcore and it's affected everything in my body. My ears, brain, throat, limbs.. and my liver! My liver and spleen and surrounding organs have inflammation? I can't bump into people or things and I have to be careful or they can rupture and I can bleed to death or something? What the fuck? So, yah.. now I'm officially freaked out and get nervous when people get a little *bumpy* beside me.. :///

Also, my immune system seems to be shot at the moment.. so, being out and about I can easily catch any bugs and in my condition right now.. that would be very bad. So.. yah... more home time for me. Greeeeeeat.. and here i was thinking I'm starting to feel better. I know I'm not better.. cuz I don't feel ok yet... but I guess I didn't know the extent of the problem.

So, I'm gunna continue to go mental at home.. cabin fever is NOT pretty..
By all means.. call me, email me, msg me, txt me.. whatever! Something.. anything.. because.. i need all the help I can get trying to keep my sanity while being locked at home with nothing to do .. and no work or school to go to. You think it'd be heaven.. but trust me.. it is not. Ugh... maybe I'll write some more poems.. God knows i have so much shit to vent about. grrr...

Hopefully, I'll have something more positive to tell you in my next post. Have a SWELL day.. grrrrr.

much love:


Hey peoples.. well, I'm not even sure who's reading this and keeping track of my stuffs.. but hey to you. whoever you people are. (say hi sometime. it'd be nice.)

Anyhoo, I'm off to the doctors now to hopefully get my results and find out what's wrong with me.. although, to be quite honest.. i'm not that optimistic about it really.. i feel like those doctors are constantly giving people the runaround.. and i'm just frustrated.

the good news is that i'm feeling better.. but definitely not 100%. Still have muscle and joint aches and pains, bit of a stiff neck, i seem to have developed some kind of ear infection of sorts that's blocked my right ear and makes everything really loud and echoey and annoying.. and leaves me feeling incredibly dizzy when i stand up or lay down.. and i have this extreme fatigue all the time. Great. I hope to go back to school this week because I feel that I'm falling behind so much and I'm quite anxious about that.. I've emailed all my profs explaining the situation.. so, I hope everything will be alright. I'll probably return to work next week. Maybe for one or two short shifts. We'll see...

That's pretty much it. Happy first of October. You know what that means...

Thanksgiving is this coming weekend.. yummmms! and...
yup.. you guessed it.. HALLOWEEN! and you ALL know that's my favourite holiday ever!!! I've been thinking up some wicked costume ideas. We will probable have some huge party of sorts.. i will definitely keep you posted.

much love:

Day 9.

I'm making a note of writing down updates here. i can't really type and i have no energy.

seems i woke up saturday morning feeling much worse with new symptoms. now my limbs were hurting and it got worse all weekend. saw my dr yesterday who immediately filled out a referral and sent me to emerg. he called ahead and spoke to an internist (sp?) and that dr saw me when i got to the hospital. i was feeling so much pain by this point. it's become harder to use my legs. the dr did not test for all the things my dr asked him too because he didn't think i had them. he sent me home shortly after telling me just that i have a “virus” and prescribed me something for the pain.

i am not happy at all. i want answers. and why didn't he do the tests my dr asked him to do? if i had a cough or something, maybe a “virus” would be sufficient explanation... but it's going over week's time now. what sort of virus leaves you crippled? so, i'm back at square one and feeling worse. i'm laying on the couch right now and that's pretty much everyday for me. i hope i get some answers soon. :(((

Wanted: new immune system.

Apparently, being sickly is my middle name. I'm going to blame it on the amount of stress I endure and because I keep it inside and it just wrecks havoc on my entire body and mind. So.. yes. I'm ill. again. what else is new. This is a quick update. I barely have enough energy to sit up right now. I could just pass out. Not sure if it's cuz the sickness or the fact that i haven't eaten anything.

So.. to make a long story short.. started having this weird pressure headache on monday night.. woke up tuesday kinda stiff and sore.. but just chalked it up to my cruddy mattress and sleeping in a weird position. so.. it was ok. i went to school.. but as the day progressed I started feeling worse. By evening my neck had seized up on me and i couldn't move it.. i could barely stand and i couldn't wait to get home and pass out in my bed. By the time i got home it was way worse. My head was killing me, my neck would not budge.. shoulders, back and spine were hurting, i was running a fever and had shortness of breath. I felt so awful : (( I called the telehealth nurse people because i wanted to enquire about my health card (cuz it expired on my birthday last weekend and i wanted to know how i get care without it).. but when she heard about my symptoms, she was very concerned and urged me to go to the emerg. So.. i did. i didn't want to. I wanted to sleep. i was so tired and had no energy.. but my sisters said to go. So, i waited for my sister Lu to come back from school and she took me. once the triage nurse saw me and i was registered.. it didn't take long for them to call me in. and they quickly put me in isolation. i went into the room by myself and shortly after my sister comes in.. and she was in a gown and mask. ha so insane. it's like outbreak! they took loads of blood tests and stuff. monitored my condition. but the pain got so bad i asked them to give me something. later on the Dr came in to see me and talk to me and he said that they thought it might be meningitis.. and that there's really only one test to take that will tell for sure. It's a lumbar spine needle. If you dunno what that is.. well, lemme tell you.. it's probably the single most scariest thing ever.. and i was praying to God that i would be better because the last thing i wanted was this needle. you have no idea how terrified i am of it and how much i don't want it. (For those not familiar.. you have to kinda curl up and they shove this ginormous needle in the base of your spine to extract fluid from your spine.)
However, he said that my white blood cell count was normal so, he was hesitant to go that route (thank God!). so, i stayed overnight.. and in the morning he told me I could go home and just rest for two days and if my symtoms are still there in two days (today) to go see my doctor. Well.. everyday's kinda been a rollercoasted. I was taking tylenol 2's with codeine. (two of them) every 6 hours. I felt ok when i was on them, although they didn't take away the pain. but when they wore off.. omg.. i was the most miserable person ever. i felt like i was dying. my fever would spike and every part of my body would ache and it was just the most awful feeling ever. :((((((((((((((((((((

Today.. things are looking slightly hopeful. I feel slightly better. but i'm boiling and i'm a sweaty mess.. it's gross. I took a shower and as soon as i got out.. my cheeks were flushed and i was sweating buckets and wanted to faint. friggen messed up. My neck is still store.can't move it much. no apetite. no energy. stiffness.. soreness, headache is milder.. i dunno. i don't really want to leave my house and i really don't want to visit my doctor. so, i'm gunna wait til tomorrow and maybe i'll go. i feel like ass. and i'm missing work and school. and this can't be good. but i guess my health should come first for a change. cuz i usually neglect it :((

k.. i need to go lay down.. i feel nauseated. and yuckies. and it's so friggen hot. i can't stop sweating. it's so gross. i'm wearing next to nothing and i feel faint. i want to stand in a freezer. ughhh. friggen shit.

so, if i've been MIA.. that's why. and i'll talk to you all soon. miss yah *hugs*

My birthday was last weekend. it went well. thanks to everyone who came. you guys are awesome. Despite the chill, it was a good time. Next year is the BIG one. Get ready for that.. i'm having a huge party and you all better be there. :)))



I haven't really posted a real post in quite some time so, I thought I'd quickly throw something out there to update all you wonderful people.

First things first.. well, my computer is busted. So, that's how come I haven't really been online much. I sneak some time on my sister's laptop when she's home and when I'm home. Which isn't all that much lately.

School's started. I'm actually really excited about it.. I kinda wasn't at first.. but I grew tired and worn from the hours at my work. Not because of the long hours per se.. but because of the total bullshit that is my work. I feel for my manager and the shit she has to put up with. .. and well, since I don't have to put up with it.. I won't. So, back to school for me. I'm just glad it's only a part time gig for me. I would lose my mind if I were there permanently. How do people in higher positions go about their daily lives with the horseshit upon horseshit they keep piling upon the little people?? Seriously, someone hook me up with a high paying salary position where I can be a total dickwad to people for shits and giggles cuz that's what my degree and my job title decides I can do. GO TEAM GO!!! :)))

ANYHOO.. with that being said... YES! i'm happy to be back in school.. and I'm kinda in a rush.. so, I should hurry and end this. It's my birthday next week. See ya at my partay. Bring beers. and yourself. Should be a blast! and fucking BRMC October 1st. hell fucking yesshhhhh!! and of course.. she wants revenge. october is too sexy for me already. ayyyy papi. ; ))))

K, i'm outtie. Have a freakin fantabulous weekend my peeeeps. hehe


You are my sunshine.

my only sunshine
you make me happy
when skies are grey
you'll never know dear
how much i love you
please don't take
my sunshine

Back Together. <3



i loves me some No Doubt!


A message from giusi:

ho disfatto le valige
il tempo della purificazione è finito. da ora torna il "SOLE ENTRO"

p.s. some people are scumbags. always were.. always will be. i only wish i could take away the pain that they caused to my loved ones. :((

p.p.s RIP Wayne Avery. :((((((

You're every line, you're every word...

You're everything.

: )))


i want to vent..!!!!

but not in PRIVATE! i want to VENT TO THE WORLD!



fuck dood. seriously. idiot. when when when when are you GOING TO REALIZE??

you know WHEN???

when it's TOO late!

... and in the meantime... i'm the one who suffers. stupidly.



Feeling hot hot hot..........!!!

I'm bored out of my effin skull right now. It's WAY scorching hot inside my house (or perhaps just this room..?) Everyone seems to be out of town or at some other function and I'm left to my own devices.. hrmm..that can't be a good thing.. hahaha *here comes trouble*.... oops.
; )))

ANYHOO... rather than fill this page with random crapola that's just jibberish to thine eyes... why don't you take a look at THIS instead. I'm putting together a mini portfolio of some photos i've taken... specifically animal ones. My sister's friend wants me to start snapping pet photos for people. Plus.. I'll be volunteering and taking pix of the dogs at the Last Chance K9 Rescue shelter to put up on their site so that people can view the puppies and adopt them. I'll have more information for that once her page is up and running.

Lemme know what you think of the pix.. yah yah.. i'm an amateur.. but i have loads of other good ones.. but editing photos takes quite a bit of time and i have to find them all and put them together when i have more time.... which is not now. cuz .. it's way too stankin hot. Ew.

Here's the link again: Pet Fotos.

Have a great long weekend!! : )))


Annual piercing.

So, we've pretty much established that I get a new piercing every year now.. haha well, since the past 3 years anyways.. septum.. daith.. and now nostril... well, i got it a week today.

I likes it. I loves it. Too bad for yousssss.

P.S. Beerfest - Sunday, August 12th..!!!! partay! Don't FORGET!!! rawr.

I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name.....

I dedicate this blog to my one & only ultimate picnic buddy... rawr!

hehe ; ))))

I'm addicted to scissors & hairdye. <3

Ok.. so, in my complete boredom.. i decided to hack away at my bangs because.. well, they've been really plain jane boring drab and nasty as of late. You see.. I've been trying to grow out my bangs forever.. and i keep chopping them off.. cuz.. well, i have NO patience whatsoever. with anything. haha so.. it's not growing fast enough for me.. so, i'm getting annoyed.. and it's looking ugly.. and well.. fuck that shit. *chop chop snip snip*.. and VOILA! new funkkkkkkeh bangs. lmao..... well, according to me anyhoo.. bahahaha.

So yah. Here's my before and after pic.. (yah yah.. disregard the shittyness that is me.. i had a long day at work.. being hungover and feeling like total ass. so wudeva.)


(bahaha i love my fucking amused expression in this pic)


(as you can see.. my new hack job is making me alllllll smiles. GAH. i'm a cheezie nerd and you luff it. Rawr.)

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! i like it so much better. yep.
and that makes me happy. hehehe.

K.. bed time. nitenite


August 2nd. I want to go so bad. They are too awesome. and well.. Brandon isn't an eye sore to look at.......... ; )


pirates = sexeh......

k. yah........

Other concerts I wanna see:
Static-X : August 25th
The Birthday Massacre: September 5th
Damien Rice: September 10th
anyone interested........ lemme know

And then... my ginormous bday partay is September 15th. Just a heads up.
*bang bang*