The Sun's Getting Cold, it's Snowing..

You know... I must admit.. I've been in a bit of a rut as of late.. and I'm having a really hard time with a lot of things. A really hard time. On how mankind is not a selfless being and is so enveloped in their own ego. The possessions of material wealth and expensive items. Of show and grandeur.. and a bunch of other things. Of looking out for our own best interest.. instead of holding out a hand to your dear friend. Showing signs of caring is weak.. being cold and detached is much better. It doesn't matter if you step on someone else.. use their feelings.. care less about their best interest.. for just a little bit.. as long as you benefit somehow... or maybe just to pass the time. It's only something small and trivial. It will not hurt them. They will not care. They'll go on just like the rest of us do. Who really cares about heart anymore these days. Who really cares about foundations of truth and honesty and love and respect. Who really cares about humility and sacrifice any longer.

I do. And some other people do as well... but it appears to me.. that these people are falling through the cracks.. because they are so grossly outnumbered by the hordes of other people out there.. ready to trample all over you at the first sign of advancement.. or ready to jump ship and abandon you at the slightest signs of distress...

And it saddens me to such a degree.. that I find it hard to face my everyday life. If you disagree with me, then I challenge you to prove to me otherwise because from what I have witnessed in these years of my life.. the exceptionally good (if not the relatively good) are very few and far between.

I do not make myself out to be some saint by any means. We all have our faults and Lord knows I have many. My biggest one is that I lack the motivation to pursue something with great intensity. And my second is my pride.. which often makes me unable to forgive so easily. Maybe that's my first. And I'm sure there are many others...

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this post. I know I have a lot of feelings right now.. and they are swarming in my head.. like the worst of raging storms I have ever seen. I don't know what to think or feel. I am overwhelmed with feelings of grief, sadness, disappointment, discouragement, anger, disgust .. only to name a few.

We are not important in the grande scheme of things.. and the sooner we realize this... maybe the sooner we will learn to be a more sensitive and caring being. Because I think it is vital for the survival of our entire race, that we change drastically.. and quickly. Because this survival of the fittest method.. will leave many behind.. and the fittest, will be very lonely at the top. And eventually die out. Leaving no one and nothing.

These are just my thoughts and feelings. And I know that I want to do so much.. and say so much.. because i feel SO much. And I cannot turn it off. I know I have to do something. But I'm not sure what. How.. or where.. and why? Because the feeling within me is greater than anything I've ever felt before. And call me delusional or sappy or pathetic.. but I do care. And something needs to change now.

So.. I'm going to get up and start doing something. And.. I sincerely hope that many others will take my lead and do the same.

We need to be better. Because.. we aren't. We suck. A whole lot.

And we should be ashamed of ourselves.

And I do not know how these people can go through life so effortlessly without feeling this deeprooted shame.. because I know I feel so badly for things I have done and wish to make up to errors.

And sometimes I have. And sometimes it works out for the best...
and other times... it doesn't.
and what you thought was a simple apology..... would lead you down a dark road that you never dreamed you would go down.

Right now I'm just rambling... and perhaps not making much sense to many.

So, I ask you this. Can you look at yourself in the mirror and be proud of the person that you are and all that you've done and how you have treated everyone in your life? For the choices you've made.

Basically.. I would like to send a wake-up call to everyone in the world. To re-examine what it means to be human.

Because if what I see around me today is what it means to be human.... well, then.. I can honestly say that this is a life I no longer want to live.

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