All her dreams are made of strawberry lemonade . . .

I met Gwen Stefani.

Yes. Yes i did. WEeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. hahaha At yesterday's Toronto show. I'm still kinda shocked. I'm not going to write this enormous blog giving every detail like some super crazed fanatics do *cough*hardcoremembers*cough*.. hahaha... cuz I don't consider myself a crazed fanatic.. although a HUGE fan.. I definitely am.. I've been a faithful No Doubt fan for about 12 years now. Seen NXD for each tour in Toronto and Gwen's show too.. (NXD > Gwen solo. for the record. hehe). This is my first time meeting Gwen.. I also met Stephen Bradley... he walked by and I got to take a picture with him as well.

Oh.. quickie version: I was kinda annoyed.. cuz we didn't get a proper meet & greet session like others have.. where they have a room set up and you go in and do yer stuff and get to talk..but hey! i'm not complaining. It's just that we didn't really get to talk to Gwen as much as we wanted. They had us lined up in a hall.. kinda lame. but she walked by and signed our stuff and we were allowed one photo afterwards. So.. she said hullo and signed my stuff and i asked her to sign my other stuff.. and she was reading my shirt out loud (i made it a while back when hollaback girl came out).. so.. she's like "YER MOM IS.. BANANAS..?? ? hAaaaaahaa that's so funnnny!!" and she laughed.. tee hee. i thought she might be offended by it. but i love my tshirt. and she did too. so YAY!!! : ))))))))

I was too stunned to say anything else. Honestly... it wasn't even starstruck really.. just that it all happened so fast.. and I had no idea how to talk and say stuff. I'm totally shy when it comes to meeting stars.........or anything really. I'M BEYOND SHY!! ahhhhhhhhhh haha like when I met Bif.. omg.. i didn't say anything. My ex had to pipe in with "My girlfriend loves you."... haha i'm so lame. *kicks self*... I think my friend Kurt was even starstruck.. haha but one of the harajuku girls loved his shoes. hehehe Gwen loved you cuz you were brown!!! hahahahaha lmao tee heehehe ;)))))))))))))) weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

She's so much teenier in person. I totally knew this already... but she was standing next to me now.. and she was wearing HUGE mother heels.. at least 6". SO.. there's no way she's my height without the heels. But it suits her. Cuz she's sooooooooooooo thin and petite. haha i know she gets mad when people say that. but she is. get used to it gwenny. haha


Anyways..... No Doubt is coming out with their new album next year and I'm beyond excited about it and i'm wondering what the sound will be like. ee e eeee eeeeee! The concert was soo freakin' amazing. I can't upload pix yet cuz i have NO room on my computer. I bought loads of memory for my camera and took hardcore videos.. they're all shakey. hahahahaha cuz i was a wreck. but too bad. : ))) That's it. That's all.

Gwen is too freakin cute and totally adorable and incredibly sweet and nice.
Yep.

: )))))))))))))





Betty & Veronica fans unite! This is an OUTRAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was reading my Betty & Veronica comic yesterday as usual.... and well, this one seemed to have this dandy little announcement page at the back.. Check this shit out.




WTF?? that's so UGLY~!!! I seriously hope they're not permanently changing them to look like that. The charm of their characters were HOW they looked. I've been a fan since FOREVER and i have the hugest Betty & Veronica comic book collection.. BUt i swear to you.. i will never buy another issue if they change them to look like that. New dynamic art??? fuck that shit. they can suck it!

*pissssssed*

lmao..
and there's my rant of the day. I'm going to write them a letter. haha but not quite as colourful as my blog was.. lmao ; )

Ciao <3

P.S. Tomorrow.. i am meeting... THE one & only... in person. AND i shall die of complete shock and nervousness. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Tell me where it hurts.......

What is my day going to look like
What will our tomorrow bring me
If I had x-ray eyes, I could see inside
I wouldn’t have to predict the future
I wish that you would do with some talking
How else am I to know what you’re thinking?
If only people would say what it really was
What it really was
What it really was that they wanted..

Tell me where it hurts
to hell with everybody else
All I care about is you and that's the truth
They don't love me, I can tell
But you do, so they can go to hell

Did they ever give you a reason
To believe in something different
If you’re looking for love, for what it's worth
I have plenty of it lying around here somewhere
If you are looking for disappointment
You can find it around any corner
In the middle of the night I hold on to you tight
So both of us can feel protected

Tell me where it hurts,
to hell with everybody else.
All I care about is you and that's the truth
they don't love me, yeah I can tell
but you do so, they can go to hell

I’ve been loved but I didn’t know how to feel it
And I’ve been adored but I don’t know if I ever believed it
I’ve been loved my whole life but I didn’t know how to take it
Until you…

So tell me where it hurts
to hell with everybody else
All I care about is you and that's the truth
they don't love me, yeah I can tell
But you do, so they can go to hell

But you do, so they can go to hell

Tell me where it hurts.......

[garbage]


edit: i switched the video. this is a much better quality of the brand spankin new video by Garbage. Check it out.

So much on my mind.

With all this health stuff going on recently.. I've really been rethinking things so much. I think I've been forcing so much stuff lately. When I really think I've been neglecting the most important thing right now. My well being. My soul. My heart. Etc..... I have so much repairing to do.. so much. Too much. The truth is.. I'm in no place right now to make any decisions and choices about stuff. And you know what? I don't have to. I've been fretting so much about stuff and worrying myself sick over here about all this shit that's going on in my life. Making mountains out of molehills. That's prolly what got me that trip to the hospital in the first place.

I need to relax a bit. Not think too much. And not worry all the time. And know that it's not the end of the world. My time will come when it's good and ready.

And ... I'm just not ready now.

And ... that's ok. It's perfectly fine.

And ... there's no rush.

: )))))



Black Rebel tomorrow night.
Hell. FUcking. Yahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
GRRRRR!!

Silly girl.

You don’t even know my name
You’ve got me on a ball and chain,
When you gonna notice me
God, you’re such a little tease

When you gonna finally land it on my lips
When you gonna give me just a little sip

You’re a honeybee, honeybee
Honeybee, you’re killing me

You don’t even know my name
I guess I ought to be ashamed
Going on the way I do
Watching you in everything
When you gonna give me just a little kick
Music in your heart and lying on your lips

You’re a honeybee, honeybee
Honeybee, you’re killing me

It’s hard to stumble in your harmonies
But just like nicotine and it gets complicated
You keep on pouring on the gasoline
And it’s the sweetest feeling, oh it gets me, gets me down

You don’t even know my name
How am I gonna reign you in
Tramping everything you see
You don’t own everything

When you gonna give me just a little hit
When you gonna give me just a little bit

You’re a honeybee, honeybee
Oh, honeybee, it’s killing me
You’re killing me, honeybee
You’re killing me, my honeybee
It’s killing me

[ honeybee ~ garbage ]

I'm not feeling too well....

day 5. The pain has seemed to dull a tad.. yet it hasn't stopped and I still can't eat or drink normally.

So..... what's wrong with me? I have no clue. Been feeling off since Monday of last week. Then Wednesday came around and I was starting to feel really sick. Disoriented, dizzy, faint, stomach ache, etc etc.. was at work and talked to pharmacist about it.. he did seem to think it was a bit strange. He just said to drink fluids and wait it out. So, I did... and then went home after work.. starting to feel a bit better. Went out that night and started to feel really ill again. But worse. I had to keep going outside for fresh air for fear of fainting or something. That was Wednesday night and it was really painful and uncomfortable.. but that too subsided. Thursday I woke up alright with very mild stomach pain and spent the day out and about. Had two tiny episodes later in the evening with some pain.. but other than that.. everything seemed alright. I didn't think much of it.

Friday I woke up and went downstairs to say my goodbyes to Carolina and Jim who were driving off to florida. We had some coffee and chit chatted and stuff. I kinda felt crampy... but nothing too major. Got ready to go to work..and my stomach was hurting again. So, I just got some green tea and continued on my way to work. Everything seemed alright.. I was just feeling off. But as the day progressed.. i started feeling worse and worse. there were times when I couldn't even stand up anymore. The pain was getting stronger and I was feeling so faint and nauseated. I spoke to the pharmacist about it.. he said I should go to the doctor to check it out as it wasn't normal that I was still feeling this after 3 days. So, I decided to visit my doctor on saturday. I went home after work on friday.. and was in so much pain.. i didn't know what to do. After many failed attempts at sleeping and the pain not subsiding.. I called the ontario telehealth number for some advice. When I told her my symptoms, she recommended that I see a doctor immediately.. within the next 4 hours... so, she advised me to go to the emerg. So.. I decided I would do that. I waited for R to finish work and he came and got me and drove me to Humber hospital up the road.

I waited for what seemed an eternity in the waiting room until they finally called me in. I might as well have died in there or something.. When they finally got me in.. they scheduled me for an ultrasound and i had all the run of the mill blood work and urine tests done. funnnn.. and then they hooked me up to an IV.. which i later found out had dope in it. the next day.. around 11:30am.. the Dr. came to tell me that all my tests were normal. They couldn't find anything wrong. and that maybe I had a virus and it passed.. and he pressed on my stomach and asked if I had any pain.. in which case I didn't.. since i was kinda sorta drugged up. :-/ So.. no. I had no pain. And i was discharged.

Went home.. slept it off a bit. Woke up. Voila! Lovely stomach pain is back. Nausea and pain and all that great stuff. Can't eat. Can't drink. It's just wonderful. I was contemplating going back to the hospital and hurling a bunch of insults at the bastards.. but hey.. that wouldn't really fix anything. So, i kinda decided to wait it out overnight. I didn't get a wink of sleep last night. It's the most uncomfortable pain ever and I just can't lay down or rest or anything. It's so awful. This morning the pain is a bit better. The nausea isn't as strong. And I'm thinking MAYBE.. it might get better. In any case, I really wish I waited and went to my own family doctor on Saturday instead of going to the hospital. They didn't give me any answers and I feel that my family doctor would have been more thorough and plus he knows my history. He may have been able to help me better. But seeing as it's the long weekend.. I'm going to have to wait til Tuesday to pay him a visit. I'm hoping that the pain won't last that long.. because this is getting a bit out of hand. I haven't eaten/slept/drank in like 3 days now. I look like a bag of shit and i feel so much worse than that. :`((((

I just want this pain to stop. And if anyone has any information or ideas on what's up.. feel free to share your comments and shed some light on this situation. I'm gunna go be my sickly self in bed again.

Happy Victoria Day weekend everyone......

Home.

You can't alway pick the dog you find
maybe i wasn't what you had in mind.

I can love you, I can love you, I can Love you a lot, Yeah ha..
I can love you, I can love you, I can Love you a lot, Yeah ha..

I'm here and I wonder if I'm lost
cuz I can't seem to understand the way I feel.
I'm not here to be a creep.
I'm just feeling incomplete.
Take me home.

If I wasn't here I wouldn't mind.
But it's you up there and I"m so far behind.

I can love you, I can love you, I can Love you a lot, Yeah ha..
I can love you, I can love you, I can Love you a lot, Yeah ha..

She says I'm the one she really wants
But I'll never be the one that she needs.
I'm not here to be a creep.
I'm just feeling incomplete.
Take me home.

I can love you, I can love you, I can Love you a lot, a lot, a lot.
I can love you, I can love you, I can Love you a lot, a lot, alot.

She says I'm the one she really wants
But I'll never be the one that she needs.
I'm not here to be a creep.
I'm just feeling incomplete.
Take me home.
Take me home.


Only when I lose myself....

It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself
I find myself
It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself
I find myself

Something beautiful is happening inside for me
Something sensual, it's full of fire and mystery
I feel hypnotized, I feel paralyzed
I have found heaven
There's a thousand reasons
Why I shouldn't spend my time with you
For every reason not to be here I can think of two
Keep me hanging on
Feeling nothing's wrong
Inside your heaven

It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself
I find myself
It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself
I find myself

I can feel the emptiness inside me fade and disappear
There's a feeling of contentment now that you are here
I feel satisfied
I belong inside
Your velvet heaven

Did I need to sell my soul
For pleasure like this
Did I have to lose control
To treasure your kiss
Did I need to place my heart
In the palm of your hand
Before I could even start
To understand

It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself
I find myself
It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself
I find myself


Let go....

drink up, baby down
mmm, are you in or are you out
leave your things behind
'cause it's all going off without you
excuse me, too busy you're writing your tragedy
these mishaps
you bubble wrap
when you've no idea what you're like

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

it gains the more it gives
and then it rises with the fall
so hand me that remote
can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow

such boundless pleasure
we've no time for later now
you can't await your own arrival
you've 20 seconds to comply

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

[ frou frou ]



What if....

Here I stand alone
With this weight upon my heart
And it will not go away
In my head I keep on looking back
Right back to the start
Wondering what it was that made you change

Well I tried
But I had to draw the line
And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we'll never know

Many roads to take
Some to joy
Some to heart-ache
Anyone can lose their way
And if I said that we could turn it back
Right back to the start
Would you take the chance and make the change

Do you think how it would have been sometimes
Do you pray that I'd never left your side

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we'll never know

If only we could turn the hands of time
If I could take you back would you still be mine

'Cos I tried
But I had to draw the line
And still this question keep on spinning in my mind

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
What if I had never walked away
'Cos I still love you more than I can say
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we'll never know
We'll never know




Concert Listings

Upcoming shows I'd love to go to.. but I'm too broke to go.. or have no one to go with.. or all of the above.
: ))))))))))

p.s. Happy Mother's day to the mommies. *mUaH*


________________________


Damien Rice

Massey Hall, Toronto, ON
Fri, May 18, 2007 08:00 PM

________________________


Bright Eyes

Massey Hall, Toronto, ON
Tue, May 22, 2007 07:00 PM


________________________


The Faint

The Opera House, Toronto, ON
Wed, May 23, 2007 08:00 PM

________________________

Econoline Crush

Johnny B Club, Whitby, ON
Fri, May 25, 2007 08:00 PM

________________________


Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Kool Haus, Toronto, ON
Sat, May 26, 2007 08:00 PM

AHHHHHHH.. i'm so going to this. FUCKING HELL YAH!!

________________________

Skinny Puppy

Kool Haus, Toronto, ON
Tue, Jun 5, 2007 08:00 PM

________________________


RufWainwr_779510_UNI_3Z.jpg

Rufus Wainwright

The Danforth Music Hall Theatre, Toronto, ON
Mon, Jun 11, 2007 08:00 PM

________________________













About a gurL.

I was really bored today. I really enjoyed the soundtrack to the movie "The Holiday" (the movie itself was pretty damn amazing. ) Especially this one song called Cry. I was thinking of how it would a nice background song for a life movie. So, because I was THAT bored today.. I made this mini-movie-slideshow of sorts with the song in the background. It's very personal to me.... so, don't be hatin'! haha

Unfortunately.. the quality of the video is incredibly downgraded when uploaded onto any other servers due to the compression. I do have a good version on DVD which my sister was kind enough to burn for me (which my sisters will all get copies of). It's super cheese. Super vain. Super silly.. and super me. So.. enjoy! (and yes, i'm aware there is a photo that's duplicated in the video. I didn't notice until i was done. And the track is slightly effed up at the ending because.. remoosh gives me bad songs. that bastard. hahaha i'm kidding. it's just effed up. and i didn't notice it had that at the end.. until i was already almost done editing. so, tough titties. i'm not changing the song.)


Lights... Camera.. ACTION!!!

Sadly we remain to see...


Rach: Couples fight. It's rare for us, but it does happen, and it's not the end of the world. So he did something stupid and pissed me off...I've pissed him off on more than one occasion as well. That doesn't mean I regret moving here or I'm ready to leave him or something.

Giusi gurL: yah for sure. people who say you don't fight.. are nuts. and just don't care enough. relationships are work.

Giusi gurL: and when you love someone.. you want to work on it. and you fight. and you work it out and get past it : )

Giusi gurL: being in love .and choosing someone.. means that.. you're willing to stick it out with that person.. through thick and thin..and willing to fight and bicker over the problems.. to get to the good. because you want to be there. and it's worth it in the long haul.

Giusi gurL: people who think something is simple.. are delusional. and don't know what sacrafice is. and if you haven't been in a love where you haven't had to fight and sacrafice...

Giusi gurL: well, then you've never really be in a real love.

Giusi gurL: in my opinion.

Giusi gurL: : )


_____________

excerpt from a conversation i was having with my friend about love and fighting. Some things are worth it. Some are not.

Find the person who it's worth it for.

And make them feel like they're worth it.

Eat me, Drink me.

Oh yah. I indeed got the leaked copy of Marilyn Manson's new album (which won't be out til June 5th).

'tis good. Maybe I'll share with you...

maybe.

<3


P.S. Nutella is way too delicious for words.

A long & overdue letter.

Sometimes you really lose sight of things.. and the road ahead of you is a little cloudy.

Ok... Maybe a lot cloudy.


And maybe it's been that way for a very long while. Because maybe all along even though I've wanted to blame someone else for all the wrong because it was easier that way. .. it was really just me all along.... rewriting the same script over and over again in a different setting with its own distinct cast. But the truth of the matter is, I just do it to myself.

As much as I'd love to put the entire onus on you for why things didn't go the way I would have liked, the truth is.. we were doomed from the start. Not because of you.. but because of me. And for that, I am truly sorry. I'm positive it's nothing but a distant memory in your mind and perhaps even completely faded away by now. And that's ok. You never stood a chance.. because the truth is, I never gave you a chance. Not fully and completely like you deserved.

Yes yes.. we all know the story and the things you've done.. but putting that aside.. I don't think it's fair I judge you solely on those things because despite those dark and negative things, I know there was something completely amazing and bright about you. Which is why I loved you to begin with. and why I could never possibly hate you. ever.

I guess there's so much to say but not nearly enough easy ways to do so. And this is just me writing in my blog... this is just me emptying the cobwebs from this dark and cluttered mind that have been stashed tightly away for far too long . Not sure what I'm accomplishing by this. Whether or not the eyes intended to read it actually read it, I guess maybe I'll never know. But maybe just saying it out loud is enough. For me anyways. For now. I guess we'll see...

I sincerely wish you nothing but the best in life.. all the luck and love in the world.. and so much joy and happiness in your future. Know that I am harbouring no negative feelings, resentment or anything of that nature towards you.

I know I owe you nothing. Just like you owe me nothing. And I hope from here on in, that everything is Kool. That's it. That's all. Goodnight. :)

Love always:
~G.

Weird.

Everything. Right now. Just really bizarre... and I'm not sure what's wrong.. but it's just really weird.

I'm wondering if I'm the only one who feels it.

One of those moments where I just kinda want to pick up and leave.. and disappear for a moment. For a few moments. For a long moment.......


Yes. I really do think I'm overdue for some serious hardcore R&R.

Gotta pack my bags.. gotta leave this place.
Gotta clear my mind. Walk right out of this race.
Cuz I can't keep on going at this hectic pace...
Gotta figure it out and gotta do it with grace.
; )))

Rawr.



(no. i'm not nekkid. you pReverts!)


Ciao. .xoxo.
*mUaH*