All her dreams are made of strawberry lemonade . . .

Buon Natale a Tutti!!

Just wanted to wish everyone a wonderful and very Merry Christmas! This is my lil'gift pour vous. Yes.. i sang expeshiallies for all of you. Feel special. hehe Have a GREAT week and even better New Years. I'll be leaving Friday for Florida. Don't miss me too much.
big hugs and kisses!!! .xoxoxoxoxoxo.

(oh and don't forget to pause/stop the music in my player before you hit play.)

-- and yes.. i DID say FUCKING PIE in the song. hehehe ;))))


There is the sun. And there is the rain. Being quite opposite in nature, very seldom they will appear together. But those times when they do, a magnificent rainbow appears in the sky. And although it is not often.. when it does appear, it is the most beautiful and radiant thing there could ever possibly be.

Inked Nation.

Wow! I just logged onto inked nation today and I was on the front page...and i was like.. what the hell?? :/ lol Apparently, I'm one of the featured people on Inked Nation this week and you're posted right on the main page. That's mental! I have no idea how that happens. And I have no computer right now so, there's no way I can check that stuff out. I already had nearly 400 new msg's in my inbox. Holy hell!!

Anyhoo, friends.... if you have an account on there.. add me! :)))

Now, I gots to go... I smell some chocolate chip pancakes being made for me.


A Long December

Hey, it's me. :)

I feel like writing a rant up... but I never have enough energy to focus on these negative things anymore. But I will say something.

It's funny how people make bad choices and wrong calls, cowardly weak attempts or really nothing at all.. but then after all is said and done, they still point the finger at you. Failing to admit their mistakes and forever claiming to be the good guy in the grande scheme of things and the other people were the ones who wronged them. I've heard the story so many times that I've memorized it. Eventually, you reach a point in your life when you realize that they're just making excuses and molding the scenery to fit their needs so that their fault in all of it can escape it. Nobody wants to be guilty. Nobody wants to be the bad guy. But you think because you deny it and claim otherwise that you don't feel it deep inside? Or maybe they don't feel it deep inside.. I'm not in their shoes and I couldn't even begin to imagine what goes through other people's minds. And I'm most definitely not about to start right now.. I have my own mindless banter in my head to worry about. hehe

What's my point. I'm not sure I have one really. I'm not angry anymore. I'm tired of being angry and let down. I feel sad because I guess it's what one does when you care a lot for people who can't think about anything outside of themselves for one instant. Being outside the comfort zone. Taking what someone says and running with it because we're all right and they're all wrong. Right? err.. or something...

For those people, I honestly wish that the choices you make will bring you the happiness that you were seeking. I hope that the hurt you caused people in the interim was all worth it for you. Because if you got what you acheived in the end.. then I guess for you it was well worth it. And fuck everyone else's feelings. Because honesty and sincerity pale in comparison to immediate wants and needs. Isn't that how it is? When you're seeking highs from the instant gratification of passing things.. but then they grow stale and you need new highs. When you're life is so hollow that you need to fill it with enormous things constantly to keep you feeling full and satisfied.

But really.. you don't need these passing material things and shallow temporary feelings to replenish your life. Because, they are exactly that. Temporary. What you need is something bigger than you. You need larger things to fill your soul. It's what counts at the end of the day. It's what ultimately satisfies your cravings and more importantly... it's what stays with you forever.

I am not sorry for giving people the trust and chances I have in the past. Everybody deserves to be heard. Everybody. And I'm not sorry for walking away from them because you can try to brave a storm, but you've got to be some kind of idiot if you choose to live in one.

No Doubt On Tour!

Yes. That's right. You are not dreaming. They're back.. with a vengeance. And you can bet yer friggen ass that there isn't anyone in this world happier than me right this very moment.


Hell Fucking YEAH!!!


Check their website for more info.


"Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited; it is not rude and does not act unbecomingly. Love does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything without weakening. Love never fails."

F for Fake.

It's over today
The heat is gone
Time is gone
F for fake
I feel no wrong
Hide no wrong
I love this place
The lights
Under this face
So dry

Only way to change
Give yourself away
Don't be ashamed
Next in line
Close one eye
Just walk by

In these days
I'm breathing stone
Crying alone
I'll win this race
I'll leave alone
arrive alone.

Love this place
The lights
Under this face
So dry

Stripped to the bone
I did no wrong
Truth is my name
Give yourself away

F for fake
F for fake
F for fake
F for fake
Give yourself away
Give yourself away
Give yourself away


You tell me you like the taste
You just need an excuse
You tell me it calms your nerves
You just think it looks cool
You tell me you want to be different
You just change for the same
You tell me it's only natural
You just need the proof
Did you fucking get it?


You tell me that nothing matters
You're just fucking scared
You tell me that I'm better
You just hate yourself
You tell me that you like her
You just wish you did
You tell me that I make no difference
At least I'm fuckin' trying
What the fuck have you done?


[ Minor Threat - In My Eyes ]

Don't choke on the stardust baby...

In case you haven't noticed.. I changed my layout/template. I was bored with my old one and needed a change. I'm not too fond of this one to be quite honest.. but it was the best I could find. I have no time to make my own and I don't like to stay for a long period of time on my sister's laptop cuz it kinda sucks.. (my computer is broken right now and it's gunna cost me $200 to fix it. Being a broke student sucks sometimes.) So, whenever I get a chance and find something a lil'better.. I'll probably change it again. In the meantime.. this one is kinda cute I think.

Since we're on strike and I have all this extra free time, in between catching up on some readings, I've decided to clean up. I started clearing out ALL my closets and drawers. I just dumped everything on the floor. I threw out so much crap, I'm donating a whole whack of stuff and I'm packing away several other items that don't need to be around anymore. Wow. I cannot believe how much accumulated crap one person can have! Seriously.. I am way too sentimental and hold on to the weirdest shit. haaa.. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Anyhoo.. it's way overdue that some of that shit should go. Purging is good for the soul. :)))

I've been feeling better lately. Since my last ranting post, I've tried to look for ways that I can help myself and others. There isn't a whole lot I can do to change other people's ideas/thoughts/ways etc.. so, it's best that I don't dwell on those things and think positively and work on ways to improve and better the things that are well within my means. Sounds like a good sound plan if you ask me.

With that being said.. I wanted to post an old song on here that I heard and I love.. but I can't seem to find it anywhere on Youtube or anywhere else. That kinda sucks.. but oh well. I'm sorry that I can't share it with you. It's a nice song. It's called "Picture Elvis" by Moist. If you get a chance, download it and listen to it. It's pretty great. Moist in general is great.. well, David Usher is pretty talented I must say. I'm a fan.

By the way, I made up a new blog. It was just something I thought of and I'm really excited about it! Check it out
here and let me know what you think.

Wow.. i'm listening to Max Trax the Edge on Rogers digital cable (it's my fave station on there) and they're playing a whole whack of old songs that I haven't heard in years! I love it!! :))) So, with that being said... I'm gunna go finish cleaning up my stuff while rockin' out to awesome tunes. HA.. that sounded pretty lame. ;))) K.. i'm gonzo.


Lest We Forget...

Let us remember all those who have fallen to defend our country
and mourn for these fallen heroes of ours.

And let us hope & pray for a time
when we will no longer wage wars
and end this devestating loss of life.

York on Strike.

No school... 'til who knows when.

Just greaaat.... : /

I think somebody up there just doesn't want me to graduate!!!

At least I can work some more hours and save up for Florida.
or at least some cute new clothes...


Baby Zuma.

Finally.. after over two months, Gwen Stefani releases the first baby photo of lil'Zuma on her website. Can't say I'm too crazy about his name... but he's a real cutie. :)))))))

(click photo for larger view)

The Sun's Getting Cold, it's Snowing..

You know... I must admit.. I've been in a bit of a rut as of late.. and I'm having a really hard time with a lot of things. A really hard time. On how mankind is not a selfless being and is so enveloped in their own ego. The possessions of material wealth and expensive items. Of show and grandeur.. and a bunch of other things. Of looking out for our own best interest.. instead of holding out a hand to your dear friend. Showing signs of caring is weak.. being cold and detached is much better. It doesn't matter if you step on someone else.. use their feelings.. care less about their best interest.. for just a little bit.. as long as you benefit somehow... or maybe just to pass the time. It's only something small and trivial. It will not hurt them. They will not care. They'll go on just like the rest of us do. Who really cares about heart anymore these days. Who really cares about foundations of truth and honesty and love and respect. Who really cares about humility and sacrifice any longer.

I do. And some other people do as well... but it appears to me.. that these people are falling through the cracks.. because they are so grossly outnumbered by the hordes of other people out there.. ready to trample all over you at the first sign of advancement.. or ready to jump ship and abandon you at the slightest signs of distress...

And it saddens me to such a degree.. that I find it hard to face my everyday life. If you disagree with me, then I challenge you to prove to me otherwise because from what I have witnessed in these years of my life.. the exceptionally good (if not the relatively good) are very few and far between.

I do not make myself out to be some saint by any means. We all have our faults and Lord knows I have many. My biggest one is that I lack the motivation to pursue something with great intensity. And my second is my pride.. which often makes me unable to forgive so easily. Maybe that's my first. And I'm sure there are many others...

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this post. I know I have a lot of feelings right now.. and they are swarming in my head.. like the worst of raging storms I have ever seen. I don't know what to think or feel. I am overwhelmed with feelings of grief, sadness, disappointment, discouragement, anger, disgust .. only to name a few.

We are not important in the grande scheme of things.. and the sooner we realize this... maybe the sooner we will learn to be a more sensitive and caring being. Because I think it is vital for the survival of our entire race, that we change drastically.. and quickly. Because this survival of the fittest method.. will leave many behind.. and the fittest, will be very lonely at the top. And eventually die out. Leaving no one and nothing.

These are just my thoughts and feelings. And I know that I want to do so much.. and say so much.. because i feel SO much. And I cannot turn it off. I know I have to do something. But I'm not sure what. How.. or where.. and why? Because the feeling within me is greater than anything I've ever felt before. And call me delusional or sappy or pathetic.. but I do care. And something needs to change now.

So.. I'm going to get up and start doing something. And.. I sincerely hope that many others will take my lead and do the same.

We need to be better. Because.. we aren't. We suck. A whole lot.

And we should be ashamed of ourselves.

And I do not know how these people can go through life so effortlessly without feeling this deeprooted shame.. because I know I feel so badly for things I have done and wish to make up to errors.

And sometimes I have. And sometimes it works out for the best...
and other times... it doesn't.
and what you thought was a simple apology..... would lead you down a dark road that you never dreamed you would go down.

Right now I'm just rambling... and perhaps not making much sense to many.

So, I ask you this. Can you look at yourself in the mirror and be proud of the person that you are and all that you've done and how you have treated everyone in your life? For the choices you've made.

Basically.. I would like to send a wake-up call to everyone in the world. To re-examine what it means to be human.

Because if what I see around me today is what it means to be human.... well, then.. I can honestly say that this is a life I no longer want to live.

: (

You killed the light. You'll never see it again.

Last night was so much fun!! It's the first time, in like two months, that I've been out with friends for a night on the town. and i had a friggen awesome time! and i met Gowan's little brother!!! bahaha that's too hilarious! :))
I decided that I wasn't going to let me being sick get in the way of some fun. I deserved it. Err.. now i have to save my monies for my Florida trip for New Years. i'm SO friggen excited!!!! ;D w00t w00t.


She said you're killing the light
You'll never see it again
We come to suffer I said
I won't be fooled by the light
I won't be fooled by the lie

The easy road lies in wait
Takes it's toll and all it desires
Leads you blind
Leaves you there
Takes your heart and leaves you in silence

She said don't leave us behind
We'll never be here again
Our lives are closer this way
I won't be fooled by the light
I won't be fooled by the lie

The easy road lies in wait
Takes it's toll and leaves you in silence
Leads you blind
Leaves you there
Takes your heart and all that you wasted

Look what you've started
Look what you've started
Look what you've started
We're all broken hearted...

If I Were A Boy.

Beyonce's new single/video. Very powerful and touching...
I think she probably couldn't have said it any better than she did here.

Cake Wrecks

My sister sent me this link. This blog is hilarious! Well, maybe for some. Basically highlights poorly made cakes.. or just plain disaster cakes. Good times for other people, who like myself, are stuck home sick with plenty of yummy coughing and sneezing to go around and surfing the net while simultaneously catching up with Tempesta.

Anyhoo, check out this site for a good laugh. :)))))

P.S. I'm sad that the Conservative party won..but at least they are still a minority government. Next time we will get it right. Next time, you people should get out there and VOTE! Hooray for Democracy!!! :)


I had to type this out for one of my classes.. and hey, what the hell, I thought I might as well post it up on my blog too. Now you can read all the nitty gritty about me. Cheers!! :))))

P.S. Don't forget to go VOTE today!!!!


Autobiography for Giuseppina

Born: Friday, September 15th, 1978

Sun sign: Virgo

Birth City: Toronto, CANADA

Giuseppina was born the third out of four girls from lovely parents Gaetano and Teresa. Both parents were born and raised in a very small town in Sicily, which is in the south of Italy. They came to Canada 30 years ago with their first daughter Carolina, who was already nearly 3 years old. Upon arrival to Canada, they didn’t waste much time and shortly after had Francesca, Giuseppina and Luisa. She is very close with her sisters and all four of them are not only siblings but are also very close friends.

Giuseppina was a quiet little girl growing up. Usually keeping to herself and creating her own stories and scenarios with her dolls and making up plays and musicals with her friend for her family to see. She attended Catholic school until she graduated high school in 1996. She then went to a public school to get credits in courses that were prerequisites for college but were not offered at her school. Along with those much needed computer courses, she also took many personal interest courses such as fashion arts, digital photography and Spanish.

After she finished high school, she thought she would take some time off before continuing her education and started working full time as a medical secretary. After some time, she started taking part time courses in college towards her computer programming diploma. In 2000, she started working as a clinical research assistant for Women’s College Hospital affiliated with University of Toronto. She worked there for nearly 6 years, taking on many projects in hopes to advance. When it became apparent to her that they had no intentions of letting her advance to her desired position, Giuseppina had a choice to make. She could either stay and accept that, find another job, or quit her job and go back to school full time. She decided to quit her job and go back to school, a hard decision as her parents were not supportive of this. Having given up on the computers route she had taken a few years back, she decided to go to university and remain in the health studies field as it is where she has mainly worked for the most part. It is also the area that most interests her and what she would like to seek a career in.

School was going fine for Giuseppina and she was quite content to be attending lectures and doing assignments, regardless of the age gap between herself and her classmates. For the most part, many of her school friends had no idea she was a “mature” student and thought she was the same age as them so, she had no problems fitting in. Everything was grand until last year.

In September of 2007, Giuseppina became very ill. She was off school for nearly three months and was in and out of hospitals as they tried to diagnose her condition. They tested her for Meningitis, Rheumatic Fever, Limes Disease, West Nile Virus and a whole slew of other things. The virus was so debilitating that she was forced to stay in bed for the most part because her limbs were in so much pain and she had little or no use of them. Pain was so severe that medication did not help and sleep would not come at all. Eventually, the virus seemed to have disappeared on its own. Due to the lengthy time off school, she had to drop out for that school year, a decision that was very upsetting for her but she felt she had no other choice. Later on, some of the underlying symptoms persisted on and off. Through continuous testing with her doctor and researching on her own, an answer was finally found. Early this summer, Giuseppina was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. There was very little known on this condition to herself and surprisingly, to her doctor. She began to research it extensively and looked into ways that can help her cope with it.

In the fall, Giuseppina once again began another new school year at York University. This time around, it is a more difficult feet. With symptoms of the condition persisting, it is difficult to keep up with her courses.. The main symptoms that make school and everyday life difficult for her are the extreme fatigue and low energy levels, the low concentration and poor memory retention – also known as fibro fog, as well as the other moments known as “fibro-flares” when you go through periods of time, some lengthier than others, where the pain persists and becomes burdensome. Thankfully, it is not all the time. However, she refuses to be discouraged and will continue to forge on ahead and complete her studies and receive her degree.

Giuseppina is a very warm individual who cares deeply for her family and her friends and treats them with utmost respect. Her love for animals runs deep and she has recently become a vegetarian after witnessing how horribly animals were being treated. She is barely ever serious with friends and loves to have fun, laugh and make jokes. Moments are to be enjoyed and socializing with friends and family should always be important in everyone’s life. Being honest and true are of utmost importance to her and she would go to the ends of the earth to help out a friend in need. Her kindness and generosity are recognized by her true friends and her need for maintaining a peaceful environment seems to be a never-ending quest.

She really hopes to change the world, or at least add something brilliant to it. There is far too much good energy inside of her and she will not stop until she has made a difference to any, if not all, persons that she comes across in her lifetime.

The following URL is a brief slideshow put together with photos of various important and fun times in her life:

What are you thankful for?

There's just so much that I don't understand... and to be quite honest, I know not what to do with all of this confusion.


Happy Thanksgiving Day.

My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing...

So yummeh!

These are the best things ever. OK... maybe not the best.. but seriously close to it. They are DAMN good.

Flat Earth's veggie crisps!! The Tangy Tomato Ranch ones are soo delish! :)))

so.. yah. They're made from rice flour, potato flakes and a vegtable blend. AND they are glutton free! Go get'em at yer local grocery store!

Happy Snacking!!! ;)))

much love:

You betcha!

Wedding bells rang this weekend for my little cousin Giovanni and his beautiful bride Francesca. I want to sincerely congratulate them on their lovely union and I'm so happy to have her as a new addition to our family. She is an amazing and wonderful woman and I'm happy to call her my cousin! Buona fortuna!! Tanti baci! .xoxox.

As for me...

I was getting down & dirty on the dance floor.. with my footwear of choice.. naturally.. hehehe ;)))))

I'm procrastinating hardcore right now. I should be working on an assignment.. but I'm ready to pass out from exhaustion right about now. But.. alas.. i must kick myself in the ass and GET CRACKIN' :D

Happy October everyone! And don't forget the most important day of the year is coming up in 24 days!!! Well.. next to my birthday of course.. hehe ;))))

much love!.xoxox.


I was posted.

I have decided that although I will not be using my blog to write about personal things anymore.. I will still use it as a tool of relaying information and updates as it is most useful. :)))

With that being said.. my poetry blog and foto blog will remain active as usual.

On the subject of my poetry blog.. my latest poem was posted on a friend of mine's blog. He is an excellent musician and I am flattered that he enjoyed my poem and wanted to post it on his blog site. :)))

You can check his site out here: The Musical Revolution

I have also added it to my blog roll on the right hand side.


How do you do the things you do sir?

I'm not really sure how everyone else thinks and why they act the way that they do.. and I can't begin to imagine why. It's not something you'll ever learn. It's sure to drive you stark raving mad.. cuz you're left questioning the reason of things and how the very people you care about so much .. could be the ones that hurt us so so much. When there's something more to come.. but then nothing to come out of it.. When you were tied up and then strung along.. with no real destination. And there's nothing I can do but to walk away and let it bleed dry.. accept the plan.. and move ahead. And know that my love is worth so much more than that.

Of a flame that once burned so brightly. A flame that once lit up my whole entire life. A fire so deep and wide, it engulfed me throughout the years.

A flame... that has finally gone completely out.

This will be my last post on here. Goodbye.


We are a despicable race. We should be ashamed of ourselves for the lack of respect and compassion we show to one another and to other inhabitants of our earth. We are disgraceful; without remorse; cold and detached and never faltering in our destruction upon the earth, its resources and all of its species. I can only hope that one day we can fix everything... but it will take a really big effort on all our parts. But we are humans. Vain and selfish. Rulers of the earth. The best.. or maybe the worst of the lot.

We are in desperate need of a change.

I think I'm coming down with something...

Insomnia sucks the bag. Seriously.. one of the many lovely symptoms of my lil'autoimmune disorder that i gots. good times. I'm aching all kinds today.. ouch. :((((

So, I start school on Tuesday and I'm excited about it. I can't wait to dive straight into all those lectures and discussions. Good times. : ))) Hopefully I'll have time to join wind symphony this year. I'm gunna be a lil' sad though cuz loads of my friends won't be there this year.. (Kurttttttt i misss you already!! *tear*)

As most of you already know.. (ha.. ya right!) I'm a huge fan of the Joe Fresh line by Loblaws.. huge (EEEEEEEEEUUUUGE!) supporter! Not many people know.. but the designer who designs for the label used to be Club Monaco's designer. So, it's really awesome stuff.. super great quality.. and DIRT cheap. yes.. i strongly recommend it to everyone. I bought some new school duds there today. It was pretty exciting cuz they were playing the entire L.A.M.B CD while i was in there.. so, I got to listen and shop.. very good times. err.. except when Serious came on.. haaa.. i'm the biggest spaz in the world for real. I'll be the first to admit it. i'll never be able to get my emotions in check. the song used to be someone's ringtone... so, i kinda got a little teary eyed when it came on. yah.. i know. i have issues. : / apparently.. hey.. i'm upset. i won't deny it. but what can ya do?

errrr.. yah. so, moving along. My cell phone is SO busted right now. Completely broken. Fukkkked to the core. And even my old spare one is messed up. So.. i have no access to any of my contacts.. so, i'm so so sorry if yer not hearing from me.. i don't have yer number. so, leave me a voice message or sumpin and i'll check it from another phone. don't even try to text message me.. cuz there's no way in hell i can read them or will ever get them. I have to try and get a spare from someone.. cuz i refuse to pay to repair my phone cuz stupid ROgers are robbers and BIG TIME fuckers... so, i wanna wait til my contract gets renewed.. (in the new year) so i can get a new phone.. which is virtually for free.. :P The only reason i still have Rogers as my network.. is cuz i still have my corporate plan contract from when I worked at the hospital. and it's CHEAPPPPP... hah soooo yah. suck IT!!! in the meantime.. if any of you lovely people have a spare celly lying around from Rogers.. and you wanna be sweet and lend it to me.. i'd love ya forever and ever. amen. yep. thanksssssssss

K.. it's nearly 3am.. and i have to friggen crash.. i can't even hold my head up anymore................. Zzzz.. err. nightnight.xoxox. : ))

I'll leave ya with the song of the day....... Serious by Gwen Stefani.

Everything has changed...

You're not the same at all..

        "You weren't fair
        You never were
        You weren't all
        But that's not fair
        I gave you life
        I gave my all
        You weren't there
        You let me fall..."

You know that feeling of the rug being pulled from underneath you? That's probably a huge understatement about how I'm feeling right about now.

I've always been a very emotional person.. not because I'm a weepy person.. but my emotions have always been so strong and intense.. and it's hard for me to keep them under control sometimes and under wraps. I react quickly.. but hey, I'm honest and I'm true.. and you know that what you're getting is for real.. and alive. Not just some lifeless log who couldn't care less whether or not anything in their life came or went.. acting completely unresponsive, cold and so indifferent. I don't understand that at all.. and it really fucking hurts more than you'll ever know.

You think you really know someone.. that someone you'd fight for 'til the last of days. You think that maybe you meant a fraction of something to that someone. Maybe for an instant only.. or maybe never. But.. that person is just not the same person at all. Just a cold and hard wall of blank nothingness. I am so completely sickened by the thought of everything right now. I don't know if I should yell or scream or cry or die.. To think that something that was the most important thing to you.. well, that you were really only there to pass the time with in the daily grind of life. Really nice, huh? I know so many people will say, "Why are you so surprised? You should have known better." But the truth is.. I honestly didn't know better. And my heart told me to go for it.. because this time.. it was right. How could I be so wrong? How could my gut instinct be SO dead wrong this time around? How could it fail me? I'm so speechless from the lack of reaction and care and concern.... and what bothers me more than anything else is that all that ever was in the past.. the most glorious of days.. the most happy of times... the most purest of loves.. has being completely and entirely replaced with these new harsh memories. Of cold, vacant, dry, uncaring and empty moments that, in the end, really meant nothing at all. I'm devastated and there isn't a damn thing that I can do about it.. cuz it has nothing to do with me anymore. I was never an important piece of the game plan. Maybe for a fleeting moment I was .. but it vanished quickly.. and ever so effortlessly... and I finally just realized, that all my love was in vain. All of it. and I hate to have to write it on here.. but I need to say it out loud.. because I need to acknowledge how *real* this is.. and that all of this really did happen.. the way I think it did. The way I know it did. The way I can't believe it did...
: (

I wasn't expecting this at all.. and yes.. yes, I am surprised. Yes, I am hurt. Yes, I am so destroyed by this. Yes, I'm angry. Yes, I'm disgusted. Yes, I'm horrified. Yes, I'm sad. Yes, I'm completely heartbroken.
: (

Thank you for tarnishing all my good memories and erasing anything positive that I had left of us.

Now... from all that there ever was... there will remain absolutely nothing.

"Washed up on the shore
Given one last chance
To try some more
But I'm tired, I'm freezing
Let's stop and call it history."

Thank You. ♥

The past few weeks have been really hard for me. I'm going through a rough patch I guess you can say. Mainly with the stress of my parents health, my own health.. school starting.. these long ridiculous hours I've been working and it being a new job on top of that.. and then.. this very tiring and mournful matter of the heart that has taken all that was left completely out of me.. which I never thought could be possible... but it was. :(

Today, the young girls I've been training all week surprised me with a 'Thank You' card. I was so touched by their action and it really brightened my day. They were so thankful that I was training them and how nice and helpful and patient I was being with them (even though it's just part of my job.. ) that they went out of their way to choose a card for me and sign it with some very nice, thoughtful words. This has got to be one of the sweetest things ever and it meant so much to me. The highlight of my day.. my week! It's so very nice to know there are genuine people who really do care out there.. and maybe all is not in vain. Who knows.. but I'm very thankful for them to have shown me their own gratitude with this extremely sweet gesture of theirs.

A little Thank You.. really does go a very long way. :)))

devi farti una ragione..

come si sente quando il proprio grande amore della tua vita..... non sceglie a te?

a pezzi??

forse... ma ti assicuro che ti senti molto più peggio di quello..

Non c'é più niente da fare...

Allora... capitolo finalmente chiuso.

La storia finisce così. Ci salutiamo.. e andiamo avanti...
.. con il tuo cuore e la tua anima completamente frantumato.

Addio... addio. :(

No big surprise, we turned out this way.

For the first time in my life I feel defeated. I don't know what to say anymore and what to think or feel. I feel as if I'm in this nebulous existence with a blur of scenes whizzing by me at record speed. I fell to the ground quickly with a big thump and now I'm standing completely still and I'm too paralyzed to move; to get up and turn around, whether forward or backward or anywhere.

I've always had this tremendous heart full of so much hope, no matter what life swung at me. I could always cope and find ways to carry on and find the light at the end of the tunnel; find the right in the midst of all the wrong. Somehow, those days seem so far away from me right now. I don't have the will to pick myself up anymore and dust myself off and plow forward. I'm so disillusioned.. no, I'm destroyed for lack of better words.. destroyed by the impact of everything that I've endured. Seems a bit dramatic maybe.. but if you could see inside my heart and soul and see the suffering that I've been through in the many years that have already past in my life.. then maybe you would understand a little bit more. I don't expect you to... I can't understand mostly anything myself these days.

I'm at a loss. I sincerely do not know how to carry on anymore... and quite frankly, I do not care to anymore...

Marble Cheddar Cheese.

This post was inspired by my little sister and the countless amounts of customers that ask me for this cheese. Ok.. SO, let me just let you on to something. Apparently, LOADS of people think that marble cheddar cheese is a blend of mozzarella and cheddar cheese.



: /

Yes! i know! RIDICULOUS! First of all, the consistency & texture of both cheeses are so different, there's no way they'd bind together so perfectly and look identical and melt together so easily. Think about it. Or not... hehe

so.. let me be the first to tell you all: THERE IS NO MOZZARELLA IN MARBLE CHEDDAR CHEESE! I think having the word CHEDDAR in the name is a dead give-away that this is in fact a cheddar cheese product. Marble cheddar is exactly what it says.. Cheddar, with a marble looking effect. How do they do this? Well, you see.. they take WHITE cheddar.. (oh my! yes! there is such a thing! in fact, cheddar is white.. and they add a natural additive/colouring to make it that dark orangey/yellow colour!).. and then they take the orange cheddar.. and MIX'em together.. and VOILA! marble cheddar! Pretty AWESOME huh? ; )

I just felt the need to inform the population of this.. because it seems to be something quite a lot of people seem to have no clue about. And for a cheese expert like myself.. *insert fromage snobbery here*.. hehehe ;) ... well, it was driving me up the wall! Yep. THat's right. I needed to set the record straight. It was vital for me to do in my lifetime. hehehe ; )

I, personally.. don't like it much. Mostly because they tend to use mild cheddar to make it. Which is bland with little or no taste. I prefer Medium to Old cheddar cheeses.

So, go cut yerself a hunk of some cheese and EAT IT and enjoy!! : )))

The end of this anchor...

This isn't how it's supposed to be.

It weighs down heavy upon my heart.
I have no words left. No actions. No fight left.
No hope. No expectations left. No surprises.. No life left.
It's all so gone.
And the only thing I have left is this emptiness
that's completely paved over what was once before.
Of a hollow feeling that means nothing in the end.
And i hate what it's become.
A mere vague scenario you casually stroll through while trying to pass through life.
I'm so saddened and i feel so little and helpless and invisible.
I feel so hopeless and futile... so detached.

It wasn't supposed to be this way... :(

Not my forté.

I get absolutely hysterical when it comes to waiting. I could break into hives and lose my mind just sitting here.. counting the seconds.

Patience is something I have in abundance, yet I lack so much of.

These will be the longest 5 days of my life....

Wine & Woods.

I'm happy to see that groovemonkey has his drinksomewine blog up and running again. If you're into wine and anything to do with it, you'll LOVE this blog. It's very thorough and interesting with lots of information about new wines, older wines, tips and tricks and advice as well as tonnes details about great new wine gadgets! Definitely worth checking it out. Bookmark it and pass it along to anyone you know who might be interested.

I'm off for the week! We're heading to Pog Lake in Algonquin Park for a week of camping. I'm really excited! Can't wait to take a bunch of photos. I honestly don't know how I manage to go camping. I absolutely detest almost ALL insects. *shudders*. I guess my love for the wildlife and nature overrides all that. :))))

Anyways, we're off! Happy Camping ;D

Life makes no sense at all.

I seriously don't get it. I don't understand any of it. None of it makes any sense at all to me. If everything happens for a reason, then what the hell are the reasons for them happening?

Everything happens for a reason my ass!

Fugly has a new look this summer!

These sandals are practically in every store this summer and adorned on the feet of many Torontonian ladies. If it's not these tall ones.. they're the shorter version of them.. which are still NOT attractive. TRUST me. Ok.. I'm seriously in LOVE with footwear and their supreme sexiness and most kick-ass-edness.. lol yes, i make up my own words. BUT LADIES.. these shoes are friggen gross and nasty and butt ugly.. no.. they are FUGLY FUGLY FUGLY. they do not make you look like some exotic Egyptian princess. They're gunna give you some funky ass tan on yer legs.. and that's always trés sexy.. right? right?? ;)))

anyhoo.. TWO THUMBS majorly down for this summer's big sandal trend.


hahahaha omg BEST SONG EVAH!!!1

[carro: paul] [me: michael]

Off the beaten path.

Sometimes it's not about the difficulty of choosing the road less traveled or deciding just which road you should be taking.

Sometimes it's more about deciding to get off the road entirely because neither of them are going to lead you to where you want to be.

Sometimes you have to stop completely and let the realizations sink in.. because really, there isn't anything that you and your two little hands could ever possibly do to help your own journey along those roads... much less someone else's vacant, stumbling blindly ahead journey.

Sometimes... it just really does hurt a heck of a lot.

Agony & Irony

Their new album came out yesterday. Go and pick it up. Cuz it's hot shit. HELL YES!
and Alk3 are fantabulouslyfuckingamazingggggggg!!!11!%#$@#888***!!!!! yep. true story.

you can listen to the entire album on their website or on their myspace page.

Happy Pride Toronto!!!

Photos from Toronto Pride Parade 2007.

Lei che soffre sempre come da copione.

Tu che credi sempre in questi grandi amori, ma poi non è così.

Sunny D

i NEED some right now. not now.. but RIGHTTTT now!

Back to work.

Today was my first day of work at the new store.

It was miserable.

SHARKY sings No Doubt!!

haaahaha. ok.. here's the deal.. i have to find ways to entertain myself while my sister is at work. and it's raining outside. and i'm stuck here. and she has a mic and a cam with this nifty little thingie on it that turns you into little animals and stufffs. anyhoo.... i present to you.. SHARKY! doing his rendition of Hey Baby by No Doubt!! ;)))))

FASHION Flash Mob.

A flash mob is a large group of people who assemble suddenly in a public place, perform an unusual action for a brief period of time, then quickly disperse.
– Wikipedia

Today, at the Toronto Life Square at Yonge & Dundas, I participated in one of the coolest things ever. There was a FASHION Flash Mob put together by the people at FASHION Magazine as part of the LuminaTO: Toronto Festival of Arts and Creativity. It was seriously something really awesome to see and be a part of. Stay tuned for photos and videos that will be posted on their website:

Best Buy, Worst Policy!

I don't normally shop at Best Buy.. but I know a lot of friends that do. So, I'm posting this for them and for everyone else who happens to shop there. Working in retail, I can tell you that this is the most absurd thing I have ever heard of. It's poor practice and doesn't make for good business. Anyways, I just wanted you to be aware. Ciao. *mUaH*.xoxox.

* * * * *

Best Buy has some bad policies....

Normally, I would not share this with others, however, since this could happen to you or your friends , I decided to share it. If you purchase something from other stores and you return the item with the receipt, they will give you your money back if you paid cash, or credit your account if paid by plastic.

Well, I purchased a GPS for my car, a Tom Tom XL.S from 'Best Buy'. They have a policy that it must be returned within 14 days for a refund!

So after 4 days I returned it in the original box with all the items in the box, with paper work and cords all wrapped in the plastic. Just as I received it, including the receipt.

I explained to the lady at the return desk I did not† like the way it could not find store names. The lady at the refund desk said, there is a 15% restock fee, for items returned. I said no one told me that. I said how much would that be. She said it goes by the price of the item. It will be $45.00 Dollars for you. I said, all your going to do is walk over and place it back on the shelf then charge me $45.00 of my money for restocking?

She said that's the store policy. I said if more people were aware of it they would not buy anything here! If I bought a $2000.00 computer or TV and returned it I would be charged $300.00 dollars restock fee? She said yes, 15%.

I said OK, just give me my money minus the restock fee.

She said, since the item is over $200.00 dollars, she can't give me my money back!!!

Corporate has to and they will mail you a check in 7 to ten days.!! I said 'WHAT?!'

It's my money!! I paid in cash! I want to buy a different brand..Now I have to wait 7 to 10 days. She said well, our policy is on the back of your receipt.

I said, do you read the front or back of your receipt? She said well, the front! I said so do I, I want to talk to the Manager!.

So the manager comes over, I explained everything to him, and he said, well, sir they should of told you about the policy when you got the item.

I said, No one, has ever told me about the check refund or restock fee, whenever I bought items from computers to TVs from Best Buy.

The only thing they ever discussed was the worthless extended warranty program. He said Well, I can give you corporate phone number.

I called corporate. The guy said, well, I'm not supposed to do this but I can give you a 45.00 dollar gift card and you can use it at Best Buy. I told him if I bought something and returned it, you would charge me a restock fee on the item and then send me a check for the remaining 3 dollars.

You can keep your gift card, I'm never shopping in Best Buy ever again, and if I would of been smart, I would of charged the whole thing on my credit card! Then I would of canceled the transaction.

I would of gotten all my money back including your stupid fees! He didn't say a word!

I informed him that I was going to e-mail my friends and give them a heads up on this stores policy, as they don't tell you about all the little caveats.

So please pass this on. It may save your friends from having a bad experience of shopping at Best Buy

It's true! read it for yourself!!

click --> Best Buys return policy <-- click

Red Wings Win the Cup!



Days Off.

So, yesterday was my first official day off. I won't go back to work for another two weeks. I'm writing up a to do list of so much crap i need to get done. Tearing apart and cleaning this office is one of them which would probably take a week in itself. It's the largest task. I won't even take a photo for you because I'll terrify you with this mess and clutter in here. Honest. hahaha :)

In other news, I'm obsessed with the Wii fit. It's so much fun. I've been doing mostly the Yoga & Strength training on it for the past few days. It's really fun and great for you! I love you Nintendo!! hehe : )) *heart*

I have nothing much to say except.. SAVE THIS DATE: Saturday, September 13th, 2008. Mark it and save it. w00t w00t. I'm off to enjoy my time off. *mUaH*

P.S. I can't post the video for this cuz embedding is disabled so I'll have to just put the link to a video for today's post. ciao ciao .xoxox.


P.P.S. Don't forget to tune into yer tv's tonight. Might be the final game where Detroit wins the cup. Or maybe not... we'll see :P

Thank God for my Hopeful Heart

My store is closed. Today was the absolute last day of me working there. It's been a very tiring past few weeks.. and now it's over. My emotions are burnt out. I'm tired.. and now i have a couple of weeks off to sort shit out and get some stuff done before I go back t0 my new place. oh yah.. and LOTS Of relaxation. : ))))

My throat is sore.. I hope it was just cuz of all the dust from cleaning and not me getting sick. that would kinda suck. Anyhoo, bye bye store. and bye bye month of May. *mUaH*


Haven't listened to them in a while. I forgot how much I love them.

I saw stars falling all around her head...

My new ink. I got it done on Friday in Barrie.. kinda on a whim. I had some extra money from my vacation pay and decided to finally go and get it. I'm chicken shit though and a wuss when it comes to pain.. but whatever. i love it much!!! :)))))))

This is my curse...

In exactly one week, my store will be closing.

I can't believe it's been 14 years since it first opened and I was just hired, barely a teenager.
With a mix of emotions swirling around, there's pretty much nothing else left to say except
Goodbye. So long. Auf wiedersehen. Farewell.

Helpless, with nothing to say....

Musica! Musica! Musica!

I wanna dance so badly.. this song gets me so hyper!! My sister listens to this a trillion times a day.. and now I'm kinda hooked. Yep.. it's pretty damn fabulous! ;)))))

In other news... I have the NIN & No Doubt Rockabye Baby! Lullaby cd's being ordered for me at Sunrise Records. They'll be ready to be picked up in 2 weeks! Perfect!! Soooo excited! : ))))

Happy Long weekend everyone! Crank that music up WAY WAY high!!

much love!

*mUaH* .xoooooooxoxox.

The Return of Saturn Assessing My Life...

At 30 years old, the planet Saturn has done a complete rotation and returns back to the spot it was on the day you were born.

If any critical life decisions need to be made.. I'd say now is about the time to make them.

Especially with so many changes coming into play right about now. So, let's roll the dice and see where they land. I never was a gambling girl... but what is life without risk? In bocca al lupo!

Crepi il lupo!

For ever and ever I am a part of....

you and me
we're in this together now
none of them can stop us now
we will make it through somehow

you and me
even after everything
you're the queen and I'm the king
nothing else means anything........................

Toronto. Tuesday, August 5th, 2008.

warmer times... ♥


Before the fame.

This is such a cute video of Gwen Stefani from 1991.

and sumpin else for all of yous.. the evolution of Gwen in videos.. from 1992-2007
(thanks for posting B!)

porno star trek. ♥

You make me feel like a shooting star
you make me feel like a porno star
you hold me closer still
when i get paranoid
you give your hand to hold
when i lose control

you're like my compass sound
we always find our way
you bring your smile and wipe
away my shitty day
this sudden alchemy
has got me holding on
stand by auxiliary
signals holding strong

you make me so content
with everything i am
you bring me up and in
when i'm down and out
and with no confidence
when i'm strung out on doubt
if i'm not making sense
you sought the riddles out

you're like my compass sound
we always find our way
you bring your smile and wipe
away my shitty day
this sudden alchemy
has got me holding on
stand by auxiliary
signals holding strong

you're so my everyday
you're so my sweetest love
you're so the greatest change
i'm always dreaming of

you're like my compass sound
we always find our way
you bring your smile and wipe
away my shitty day
this sudden alchemy
has got me holding on
this sudden alchemy
has got me holding on
this sudden alchemy
has got me holding on
this sudden alchemy
has got me holding on
this sudden alchemy
has got me holding on
this sudden alchemy
has got me holding on

[ ubiquitous synergy seeker ]

Peter Hayes.

Seriously. He's got to be one of the sexiest friggen guys ever. SOO yummm in every possible way. and beyond talented. Yes. Did I say how cute too? Yes. Very. yup. I dedicate this post to his total drool-worthy hawtness. :)))


So....... yah.. i thought i'd make another blog account to showcase my photography. Cuz it's kinda a little hobby of mine that i'd definitely like to further. What i REALLY need is a better computer so I can finally upload and fixer upper all these photos I have saved on this dang machine. Yup.

Anyhoo.. here be it.


Check it out peeps!


Killing in the name of .............. art?

This is horrendous. This man claims he let a dog starve to death in the name of art... and to prove a point. Maybe it's just me... but this is beyond twisted. You be the judge of it.


Baila Mi Corazon ♥


Did you marry the right person?

During one of the seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?'

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?'
In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer:

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept of my feet.' Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):


SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression 'the labor of love.' Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.

Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can 'make' love.

Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... not just a feeling. Singles may ponder on this too....for future reference!

random post: cell fone pix.

Alison (a fine frenzy)

BFF 4 life!! :)))))))))))

taking a spin on my sister's bike

true lubbb 4ever!!

the view from walking up the street in that major effin snowstorm. SICK!

i finally made it to the bus stop. yes. i'm mental. i take long trips in wicked ass snowstorms. cuz that's how i roll.. hehehe ;)))

my bad ass kitty will EAT your face. she is super FIERCE!!! watch out! the mighty Lilly has been unleashed!! mrrrrrawr!!

this isn't a cell pic.. but i'm adding it.. cuz he's my sexy ass pirate boyfriend. we make piratey sexy time together. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..xoxox.

the end ♥

A note from Gwen.


Been thinking so much about you all lately as I am back in the studio again with the boys trying to write some new music. What an amazing few years it has been. So inspired going through the dance record phase of my life. Thank you so much for all your support! The tour was incredible. We ended up doing over 100 shows around the world and it was so rewarding and again inspiring. Thank you to everyone who came out to see it...memories for life! Great to be home with with all my boys. Feels crazy to be pregnant all over again!!!!! We have been spending every day up in the little studio in our house trying to write music. My favorite part so far is just seeing the guys everyday and hanging out. We have so much fun together. The songwriting part is a bit slow on my part...I think it has something to do with the baby in my belly but I'm sure it is all of the process and I really believe this could be the most inspired No Doubt record so far. Cant wait to see what happens.

All my love

Hydration has never been so yummy!

Tired of drinking just plain ol' water to hydrate? Well, here are two of my staple items that I drink on a daily basis. They're fabulous, super great for you.. and they taste fantastic! You can pretty much get them at most convenient stores.

Aloe vera drink: Ok seriously.. this stuff is so fucking DELICIOUS. it has these little floaties in it that remind me of the green grapes my neighbour used to grow on his vines. (it's available in sugar free in some places.. but i prefer the regular).

Aquafina Plus+ with antioxidants (vitamin water): I know there's a bunch of these so-called vitamin waters flooding the market in the past little while but my favourite for the time being is this one by Aquafina.. which is interesting.. because i dislike regular Aquafina water. It seems to have this tinny taste to it all the time. Anyhoo, the vitamin water has antioxidants in it as well.. and it comes in three flavours (that i've seen so far) Pomegranate Cherry, Passionfruit Citrus, and Blackcherry Grape.. which is my favourite!

I am, however, slightly displeased.. as they may be discontinuing it and have just the vitamin water (minus antioxidants) which, from what i've heard, doesn't taste nearly as good for some unknown reason.
: (( booo urns!


anyhoo, I'm off to sleepy town. So, go get yerself some good drinkage and feel fantatic!!!


Love is a temporary madness.

"When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!"

~ Captain Corelli's Mandolin