If I hold it in, it backfires. If I talk about it, it backfires. If I cause a fight, it backfires. If I lie about it, it backfires .. and even when I'm honest, it always backfires.
There seems to be no right doing in this situation. Not for me. I don't know how to be "non-thinking" about things. How can you be in something and not think about it? But then.. it's not really something is it? No... but it's not really nothing either is it? or is it?
I just don't know which way to turn anymore. And I'm afraid I've lost the fight...
I'm just feeling so sad.
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