All her dreams are made of strawberry lemonade . . .

Vacancy.

I'm so incredibly sad. There is no way to even begin to explain it because the words just end up getting lost... and the truth is that I only want one thing. Yet that one thing seems to be the most unattainable thing in the entire galaxy. So, I mope and sulk and nurse my wounds in the dark by myself while I lay here completely and utterly exposed to everything and everyone.

If I hold it in, it backfires. If I talk about it, it backfires. If I cause a fight, it backfires. If I lie about it, it backfires .. and even when I'm honest, it always backfires.

There seems to be no right doing in this situation. Not for me. I don't know how to be "non-thinking" about things. How can you be in something and not think about it? But then.. it's not really something is it? No... but it's not really nothing either is it? or is it?

I just don't know which way to turn anymore. And I'm afraid I've lost the fight...

I'm just feeling so sad.

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