and oh, oh how could you do it?

no i, i never saw it coming......

I feel as if I've lost my desire to blog. Nothing I have to say is of much importance anymore. Not after everything that has occurred in the past few years. Not in the way that it is important that I feel the rest of the world needs to know. Well, the rest of the world doesn't need to know. And for that, I've resorted to taking up writing in my book by my bedside. I feel as if my stories are best told by my own hand for my own eyes to read. Anything else, the ones who need to know it, will know it. Does that mean I'm retiring my blog? Are my blogging days over? I'm not really sure what that means. I've always been one for impulsive outbursts of emotions spewed all over these internet pages... since the very first days of my xanga account. I've just had a lot of time to reconsider a lot of things. When certain things happen.. well, let's just say they're real big eye openers. In ways you never thought were possible. Am I angry? Well, no.. not really. I'm tired of being angry and upset. I've never felt as many changes come by me as I have in the past years of my life. In a way, I've been forced into these changes, time to rethink, redesign, reevaluate, etc.. you get the idea. I more into "let's do it" instead of "let's talk about doing it and write it down here". And right now, there isn't a whole lot I want to write down on here. I don't have the time, effort, motivation, desire, energy, etc.. to keep up a blog.. about.. well, about what? Nothing really. I have so much worth sharing.. yet it all passes so quickly that I haven't the time to document and jot it down. And I kinda don't wanna share it. Not with the world. Not right now.

So, I'll leave you with a little slide show video I made. As some of you may have already known, I took on the 365 Days project on Flickr last year and it came to an end this past March. It was a really awesome project but it was a huge commitment. Basically, you had to take one self portrait every single day for an entire year. A self portrait meant anything at all... so long as you were in the photo somehow and you were the one snapping the photo. I learned loads of stuff doing it and I would love to do it again in the future.. just not right now as I haven't the time to dedicate to such a time consuming project. But I'm so happy with the end result and the ways it allowed me to grow in my photography & photo editing skills.

Enjoy the video and enjoy this amazing weather we've been having! :)))

much love:
~G .xoxo.

Go fuck yourself.

I want to blog a nasty open letter.... but I'll refrain from letting off steam and writing out the most colourful and descriptive vulgarities that would make all the flowers in the area wilt. And although I'm upset right now.. and probably shouldn't be blogging.. I feel the need to have to let this out.

Because during this whole time of self discovery... I even thought that I was the reason behind things.. and looking for ways to cut you some slack. Even.. dare I say.. pardon the ways you were being.

How delusional I have been! How wrong and how NAIVE of me!

But.. there is no pardon. There is no excuse. There were only lies and deceit. and SO much of it. And I cannot even believe what I am seeing anymore. What is real. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. And I cannot believe how much of a coward and disgusting dishonourable person you are. I feel nothing but shame and horror and pity for those lives that you now hold in your hands.

I'm in shock. I'm horrified. I'm stunned.. I don't even know what to say.....

Was any of it ever sincere? When you were with me and with her too? Does that make you happy? Does it make you feel good? Is this what you were always looking for?

I hope it was. That and more.


Every single fond memory, thought or feeling I had left of you in my heart... has completely vanished without a trace. You are the most despicable person I've had the misfortune of ever meeting in my lifetime. And I hate that you were that only person in my lifetime. If I could do any one thing over... I would've never met you. I would've never loved you. I would've never known who you are. I would've never let you taken away from me the amount of things you have taken away from me all these years.

I would've chose differently.


I would not have chosen you.


:(

i gave you my purity.. and my purity you stole
did you think i wouldn't recognize
this compromise
am i just too stupid to realize
stale incense, old sweat, and lies, lies, LIES!!

Lists of Life.

The up and down weather has been putting my mood in a spin. Therefore, I have nothing to say or add that will inspire or anger anyone. Not today anyway.

I don't forward emails. Ever. (That was something I once did when I had a boring office job and I wasted my time away online.. which I'm sure many others are guilty of.) But I liked this little list. Thought I'd share it.

Happy Monday.
much love:
~G .xoxo.


The Do's & Don'ts of Your Lifetime

• ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
• TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
• THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
• FOUR . When you say, 'I love you ,' mean it.
• FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
• SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
• SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
• EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
• NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
• TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
• ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
• TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
• THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
• FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
• FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
• SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson!
  
• SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
• EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
• NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
• TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
• TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

________________________

Music Monday: Al Bowlly ~ Guilty

If I was a Rich Girl...

If I was a wealthy girl...

.... I'd buy all these things and more. ^__^

{ all above items from my favourite site ever: Shana Logic }


i think these would look so friggen cute with my already there butterfly tattoo on my leg! ^__^



{ above item from Etsy shop }



{ above item from Tarina Tarantino }





{ above items from Sephora }



Happy Monday. ♥

much love:
~G .xoxo.


______________________________________


Music Monday: Maybe I'll Catch Fire - Alkaline Trio

You've waited a long time for this life... just to ruin it.

A countdown to two things you cannot should not live life without...

{ music }

12 more days 'til brmc. ♥

{ chocolate }

15 more days 'til cadbury creme eggs, cadbury mini eggs, chocolate milk & nutella. ♥


Many good things to come. Indeed. :)))
Happy weekend.

much love:
~G .xoxo.

____________________________

Cause I might break and I might bend
your heart strings out of tune again
And I might try to apologize..
on a good day... on my best day
If you stick around.

I've got a big fat fucking bone to pick with you my darling.

I really don't feel like blogging.. but only because I'm being lazy. Because I really do want to share my music news with you. Who am I talking about?

Alkaline Trio. That's who.
{haha suddenly the phrase "I'm Naboo, that's who!" popped into my head.}

{and although I'd love to go an on about BRMC's new album that just came out yesterday... I'm going to leave this post for alk trio updates. I have a BRMC concert coming up too.. I'm sure I will have more to post on it. and they each deserve their own post}

So, Alkaline Trio's new album "This Addiction" was just released. I love it. With their usual sound and extra added oomph to it. Tracks like Dine, Dine, Dine My Darling ... Fine... & Off The Map become instant faves. The title track is also pretty amazing.. which was their first single and they have a video released for it as well. But you can go look that up yourself.

I went to their show last weekend at the Phoenix Concert Theatre and it was amazing. I've seen them several other times (at the Opera House, the Warehouse, Sound Academy) but the sound was, by far, the best at the Phoenix. But I've always enjoyed that venue for shows in the past. {Which is partly why I'm so excited to see BRMC there in a few weeks}

I took a few fotos at the show.. but I brought my little camera with me so, the fotos leave a lot to be desired.. but I can't complain. :)





But... the best part was their last song they performed.. which is one of my favourites. I got it on film. The sound quality isn't the best. If it were at any other venue, I'm positive the sound would have been inaudible and completely crap.

So, here's the video I caught of Alkaline Trio performing Radio. :))))



So much amazingness!! :)))


Anyways, go out and get their album. They're so amazing. As ever.
And I would just like to say.. a huge thank you to Shane .. from the bottom of my heart for introducing me to Alkaline Trio so many years ago. (and straylight run & TBS.) --
{on a side note, TBS always trumps Brand New. Sorry love.}

So........ as I continue on my exam studying streak and working on awesome assignments for my Nutrition class (which I adore).. all the while brimming with excitement over the upcoming BRMC concert on April Fool's day.. I'm going to leave you with my favourite track off the new Alkaline Trio album.

AND... I will add that they will be on Letterman tonight! So.. WATCH IT!

AND... I will also add.. that I've been chocolate free for 3 weeks now.. and it's not looking pretty. But.. Easter is approaching soon. And then I will reach for those mini eggs and drown in their chocolaty goodness... Mmmm...

much love:
~G .xoxo.


And i can row row row my boat back to shore some day
so, are you coming with me? Anchors away!! :)

'Cause it was what I wouldn't do...

It's funny how things seem to be recycling themselves over and over again all around you. And by one way or another... you get dragged into that spin cycle again. Not by choice. Never by choice.

Because it was never about making the choices that you wanted to make.
No. Because we all know what we all would choose instead.
We would want to choose to succumb... to give in... to drown in it.

But instead, it was only about the choices you make..... that you had to make.
Lest you drown forever..... with such sweet suffocation.. and sorrow.
Worst than any addiction one can have. One can kick.

Here's to all the strangled souls who have made these decisions.
Here's to coping and trying to pacify the fire within.
Here's to one more day that you've done it.
Here's to me and you. and you. and also you.

Happy Friday.

much love:
~G .xoxo.

Finito.

Today was the last day of my 365 project. I cannot believe that I've already reached the end of it. I didn't even think that I would see this project through to the end.. but here I am now. I'm a little glad that I don't have to be taking fotos of myself anymore (for once.. haha).. and will be able to focus more on other things now. Hooray.


Below you can see a little collage of sorts that I put together of my all time favourite shots throughout the year. Or view the entire 365 foto set here.

much love:
~G .xoxo.

P.S. Happy Birthday Mammina. *baci*














{ click on the thumbnail for the larger size }