All her dreams are made of strawberry lemonade . . .

Go fuck yourself.

I want to blog a nasty open letter.... but I'll refrain from letting off steam and writing out the most colourful and descriptive vulgarities that would make all the flowers in the area wilt. And although I'm upset right now.. and probably shouldn't be blogging.. I feel the need to have to let this out.

Because during this whole time of self discovery... I even thought that I was the reason behind things.. and looking for ways to cut you some slack. Even.. dare I say.. pardon the ways you were being.

How delusional I have been! How wrong and how NAIVE of me!

But.. there is no pardon. There is no excuse. There were only lies and deceit. and SO much of it. And I cannot even believe what I am seeing anymore. What is real. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. And I cannot believe how much of a coward and disgusting dishonourable person you are. I feel nothing but shame and horror and pity for those lives that you now hold in your hands.

I'm in shock. I'm horrified. I'm stunned.. I don't even know what to say.....

Was any of it ever sincere? When you were with me and with her too? Does that make you happy? Does it make you feel good? Is this what you were always looking for?

I hope it was. That and more.

Every single fond memory, thought or feeling I had left of you in my heart... has completely vanished without a trace. You are the most despicable person I've had the misfortune of ever meeting in my lifetime. And I hate that you were that only person in my lifetime. If I could do any one thing over... I would've never met you. I would've never loved you. I would've never known who you are. I would've never let you taken away from me the amount of things you have taken away from me all these years.

I would've chose differently.

I would not have chosen you.


    i gave you my purity.. and my purity you stole
    did you think i wouldn't recognize
    this compromise
    am i just too stupid to realize
    stale incense, old sweat, and lies, lies, LIES!!


Spyder said...

It sucks.
But life goes on and the pain is less and less.
I love you.

Unknown said...

I feel your pain. :( People are just bastards. It's the only way they know how to be.
You're a better person. You're stronger. Life will get better for you and I know this.
love you