All her dreams are made of strawberry lemonade . . .

I've been away for a while..

Today is two months that my cousin Giacomo passed away. Me and my sister went to his grave site to leave some flowers. Although, I do not feel his presence at all when I am there. I am aware that his soul has departed from his body.. still, I am happy to be able to leave my token of love and affection somewhere.

I still can't believe that he isn't here anymore. Every smile and laugh I share with his wife and beautiful children is simply the most amazing and heart wrenching thing I can ever experience. Knowing full well that my cousin will never be there physically to enjoy them that way.. and knowing that my baby cousin's will never ever have the chance to meet their most amazing and incredible dad. I want to tell them about him forever. I'll never ever stop missing him.

I haven't really posted too much lately cuz i don't really have a whole lot to say. I've been mostly keeping to myself these past few weeks. Perhaps hibernating and going into seclusion of sorts. I've been doing a lot of reflecting on things.. and what's important... and what isn't. I guess something like this happening really does open your eyes and gives you a whole new appreciation of love, life and living.

I've definitely been re-evaluating my priorities.. and all those things I've wanted to do.. but i'll do later.. well, I'm not gunna do them later. I'm going to do them now. While I still can. Why wait for tomorrow? Too much postponement on life... too much hesitation.. and time wasting. And then.. one day you realize that all you ever really wanted was at your fingertips. But you let it pass you by. And then.. well, then.. it's just too late.

The world doesn't stop for you. Not for me. Not for anyone.

It's time for me to live my life for me.

I have a whole new awareness that I never experienced before. But it's a good feeling. And I feel more alive than ever. I'm so thankful for every minute I have.. that brings such wonderful experiences to my life.

I have no regrets. I have no resentment. I have no hate or ill feelings. I just have a hope that will never stop burning bright. And my heart is full of a Love that will never ever run dry.

I wish well wishes upon everyone.
Do not be selfish. Do no regret.
Make the most out of everything... and do not waste any amazing oportunities that life gives you. Trust me... they will not come by you again.

"A mighty pain to love it is,
And 'tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain."
~ Abraham Cowley


Spyder said...

Death really has a way of making things around you seem so much more important. I am working on that. Since designing the website, something so simple as a website, I started to feel that desire to take up the challenge again. I know there are lots of things I can do but for the last little while I have been in a funk and have not been able to get myself motivated enough to even attempt to start anything. Well... I feel something changing inside of me and it's been a long time coming.

See you next weekend!