an entry because i was scolded.

The other day, somebody essentially gave me crap for no longer posting entries on my blogspot. Well, I apologize for that. I've honestly been so insanely busy.. plus I've been sick SO much this past winter. I couldn't figure it out for the life of me until someone explained it's cuz the girls are in daycare this year. The germ infested waters of such a place is sure to bring the strongest of us crashin to our knees.. well, at least I know it's not because my immune system has suddenly been compromised.

The truth is, there is SO much going on in my life right now... yet NOTHING is going on. You know.. I dread that question that my friends ask me everytime we catch up over coffee, dinner or drinks every few months. "What's new?"

Nothing.

Nothing is new. Absolutely nothing. well, yes.. some things are new to me... some things are big for me.. some things are rocking my mental and emotional state for me.. but in the grande scheme of things... i have nothing to report to the outside world that would be substantial material to classify under this "NEW" category. So, I often dread those meet-ups and reunions. So, I don't have to repeat the same, tired, worn out phrase... "nothing's new".

Oh, well, I guess I have something sort of new.. I currently have a brace on my ankle that I was fitted for at the hospital this past Friday. The doctor informed me that my injury was a little worse than a simple sprain.. and that I am not to play soccer anymore. Oh.. JOY.. oh BLISS. this is fantastic... considering i'm the captain of the team, you can imagine how IMPRESSED I am with this outcome. *insert extreme annoyed eyeroll here*. The injury is from last season. It was the end of the season when I got it.. (we played some team who were really rough & aggressive. they took out 3 of our players.. including me and my ankle. fun times). I was out for the playoffs. Figured the 7 weeks we had off in between seasons was sufficient for healing. The doctor informed me, it was not. And.. I'm the most stubborn person that I know. But.. I am no good to anyone with a fukked up ankle.. so, alas.. I had to give in and take the good doctors advice. But, I had to put my foot down at the air cast.. which she wanted me to wear instead. I disagreed and said I don't want it... mostly because they wouldn't allow me to work if I was wearing it. So, I settled for the brace.. which makes me look like I have a robo-ankle/leg. Good times. No.. not really. I have an appointment with the fracture clinic in 2 weeks to see the sports injury doctor. He tells me how bad the injury is, how long I have to wear this annoying brace and exactly when I can play soccer again. I hope it's soon. I really love playing.. :((((

So, I guess that's about as new as you're going to get in terms of information and news from my part. Fun times.

Apart from that............................. I am tremendously exhausted these days. I'm so terribly confused at the moment. I have no idea what's going on...no, really... I am in this really intense state of confusion.. and it's draining. It seems to have overtaken me ever so effortlessly..... I don't know what to make of it. Just this feeling left in the pit of my stomach.. leaving me wondering... "I don't think this is a good idea........". But yet it is in some ways. And I'm sure I'm rambling in ways that make no sense to anyone else right now. But that's ok. And maybe it'll make sense one day. And maybe this is supposed to be happening right now. Who knows. Leave it to me to find such beauty in so much destruction and chaos.... ah....... how we love the ones that burn so bright and fierce. *sigh*

So... I guess since I really have nothing new to report.. I'll end off here. And say Hey.. I'm alive..and ok I guess. Though nothing at all is making sense to me at the moment.. but I'm hoping in time the fog will clear and I'll figure it out. I always do.

I'll end this post with a picture of my mom. She just turned 65 two weeks ago. And she's the most amazing & stunning person ever. I love my mommy the mostest and she is the best mamma anyone could ever ask for.

much love:
~G .xoxo.





p.s. here's to some mornings that are perfect. and my famous banana chocolate chip pancakes.
:)))) cheers!

a little something refreshing.

once there was this boy.. who was really really sweet. and he played the drums. and he was kinda crazy about me. and it was really adorable. he was way beyond cute and had the most perfect smile and teeth. but he was way too young and we eventually drifted apart. but every now and again, he crosses my mind and his incredible untarnished sweetness makes me smile. thanks for being a part of my painting.
: )))

this was his song for me. i haven't heard it in years and i forgot i had the mp3. this will always be the nicest song .. just for me.
from the boy who played drums.. and drew my name in the snow. ♥

the end of an anchor

I'm here sipping on my timmy's catching up with an old friend of mine. We haven't had a proper conversation in ages! Asking me about stuff from way back when.. so, I updated him. It got me thinking about a lot of stuff.

I stopped wondering about how things happened, why things happened and if things really did happen and a bunch of other stuff. There's no point in rehashing stuff that makes no sense but plainly put, just doesn't matter anymore.

This year is a very different one for me. I feel a sense of maturity and clarity that was never there before. It's a good thing. It's a comforting thing in a way. But most importantly, I feel positive, relaxed and quite satisfied with what is going on and what is to come.

You know, looking back.. at all those times my past partner accused me of unfaithfulness, it makes all the sense in the world now. I never once did actually venture off or stray at any point.. even though I surely had enough motivation to do so and probably just as much right. But I didn't. Not even once. I'm sure he thought otherwise. He could think otherwise for the rest of his days for all I care. What he believes doesn't affect me or matter in the grand scheme of things. Because, it's evident that his accusations were merely projections of what he, in fact, was very guilty of. But he got a lot more than he bargained for. So, that isn't my concern anymore. But I know now that a million other previous experiences were all the same. Now, it all means nothing to me.

It's funny how someone can go from being the number one spot in your heart to be completely nothing at all. It's a little sad in a way. I wish I could've kept some of the good memories and thoughts and feelings. But they've all completely vanished. Gone. They are all gone. The devestation from the betrayal completely wiped out that section of my hard drive.. if that makes any sense. It doesn't to me. But it's what happened. Such is how things go I guess.

It seems as if I keep spitting out a repeat of things. But I'm not really. I feel as if the only way to wipe any slate clean is to attack those last lingering thoughts that float through the air so that they can eventually vanish forever. It's all a part of the ongoing process of moving so far away from having been in an awful and dark place for far too long.

I think back on the years of my life.. and half the time I barely remember events. I say things like "that happened?" or "when was that?" or a series of other things. Just a blank and sterile palate that I was dragging through for such a long long time.

I feel as if my plate of food finally has some seasoning in it. If that makes any sense at all. I can taste life again. I can taste it.. and boy, does it taste wonderful. It tastes so delicious. I'm in love with life all over again. I've shed this cape of wretched darkness that's been over my shoulders for such a long time.. and I'm not even sure how or when it happened. I just know that it has happened and it's pretty amazing. I sound like such a freak going on about my positivity.. so, I'll shut up now.

Sunday will be 2 years that my cousin Giacomo has been gone. I cannot believe that it's been 2 years already. I miss him all the time. I wish my family were closer together. I wish he didn't die in vain and that everyone would lose their malicious ways. But that never happened. And I'm sorry Giacomo. I'm sorry that no one can be humble and kind and look past their selfish and hideous ways and hold an open hand out to their brothers and sisters. I'm sorry for such ugliness. I hope it will change one day... I still miss you and think of you often. You're a bright star in my sky for always.

I think I want to leave here. I'm pretty sure I do. I'm not sure where yet. I'm looking into it. Most likely out of the province or out of the country.. or even continent. I am hoping that by 2012, I will have a clearer idea of where I will start things new. I think I've done all that I can do where I am here and I need to leave here and experience something entirely new and different. This place just doesn't cut it for me anymore. I find it to be dull and lifeless and I find no joy in Toronto city life. My time here has definitely drawn to an end. Once I get the rest of my stuff sorted out, I can finally move forward.. and with my workplace changing over and me taking the buy out and finally leaving the company (HALLELUJAH!).. I can start fresh somewhere else. I'm quite excited. Hooray for new beginnings.

Yann Tiersen is performing at the Mod Club. You have no idea how amazing and fabulous that is to know. If you don't know who that is.. then you need to find out. Because you're seriously lacking in your life if you do not know the likes of him.

I guess I've said all I've needed to say. I've dealt with any last lingering floaties that hovered around my head and such. Wanted to start the year right and banish any remnants of undesirable feelings and thoughts that stuck on the bottom of my shoe. You know how it is.

I do want to add... that I am still so madly in love. I do use the term madly.. because I am completely MAD and insane for feeling this way.. because I do not even understand it myself... nor do I wish to keep it around. It makes no sense to me at all. It should go away. Just leave.. I feel like a crazy person most days for having such enormous feelings for something I cannot even begin to explain or even justify. Seriously. It's insanity in its finest form. Lord help me... haha No, really though. If ever there was one perfect person on this planet that is the most perfectly matched and in tune with me.. then it would undoubtedly be him. But.. I guess not. For it is not in the cards to be that way. Because how can such feelings be so one sided? Or maybe this is just my one taste of unrequited love for all the times those people were in love with me when I never loved them back. But surely they were not really in love with me. I hardly knew them and we shared nothing intimately. But, whatever the reason... there isn't anything I can do about it. So, I do what I do best. I run. I run away from things.. I cannot handle or control or cannot comprehend... I run away as fast and as far as I can. I run away.

So.. I'll go finish doing the many little things that need to be done. Listen to some amazing music (btw have you heard of Kate Nash, Missy Higgins & Ingrid Michaelson? No? well, you should.. they are all very fine artists. Brilliant arists. please check them out.) And I will leave you with this most amazing picture of my cat Lilly... who is always up to no good. And this picture makes me laugh so much every time I look at it. So, I have to share with everyone. If you haven't already seen it posted on my twitter or facebook. Have an awesome weekend. And Happy new year to all of you. the BEST of wishes. :))))) .xoxo.


{ she is a goddamned spy }





a little add-on:
after i posted this i realized that perhaps i was a bit hasty.. and some of the things i wrote weren't necessarily what i was feeling.. but more of a what i had been feeling or what i thought i was feeling. but not so much what i was really feeling. what i'm really feeling would require an entire post on its own. but nevertheless.. there were definitely some truths to it.. or seemingly truths.. because it's hard to tell the difference sometimes. because other times it makes me sick to my stomach and i get so angry at myself at how i would waste such sentiment on someone who clearly does not deserve any of it. there are far more remarkable people out there. and heaven only knows why i seem to be stuck on this one wasted case. there no longer is a reason to pull back to the scene.. and i've come to the conclusion that it's not a scene i want to be in anymore. of painted scenarios in my head... but don't kid yourself into thinking that nothing was never there. because there was. and only a complete fool would deny that. but that's all in the past now. and hand holding in the car and all those other little elements will be chalked up to my own imagination running rampant again. because i guess.... that's what you want me to believe. so, then.. i will. and that.. is the end of that. fare thee well.

all i know is that i should...

i feel as if life is just one trial after another. i fight so hard everyday to carry on and be a hopeful person.. and i am. i really am. then tragedy besets us over and over again. and you're left wondering.. what the heck is the bloody point? why raise yourself up to these highs only to come crashing down to these incredibly low lows..?

well, you see.. those highs are worth their weight in gold and more. i won't let that drag me down. i know i'm feeling low at this very moment.. but this too shall pass. i can do anything. and i'm so thankful for the ones around me whom i love. they're my foundations and without them, i know it would not be easy to carry on through all these difficult times that have come and gone.. some worse than others. we need to cherish the amazing things that grace our lives every single day. there's no telling when it will be gone.

be kind. be genuine. be honest and be true. be sweet and nice. be a good soul. be romantic. be loving. be caring. be courageous and strong. be you and be no one else but you. stand up for what you believe in. and stand up for those whom you believe in too. be hopeful. be spectacular. be helpful and generous. be right instead of wrong. be there for others. be open. be accepting.
just make sure to be something that you will never look back on and say.. i wish i have never been that way. be better. be much much better.

look to the good things in life.. and let them and your loved ones carry you through into calmer waters. because i know these waves can be so dark, cold and turbulent at times.. and no matter how far down you get thrown sometimes.. remember that it can't rain all the time.

here's to that which makes us stronger.. and sharing our strengths and happiness with the ones that we love. here's to bright memories that remain and shedding the dark ones. here's to sunshine that always breaks through the clouds in the end.

i'm so very thankful for all the sunshine in my life. i'm so very thankful for all the love.

~ Riposa in pace Bernardetta ♥ ♥ ♥ . you were a bright bright flame in this life and you left an amazing legacy behind.. one that has impacted my life so so much. and so many other people's lives as well. you will never be forgotten. ~

Can't take back those hours but I won't regret cuz you can grow flowers from where dirt used to be.

I just came by my blog the other day and it seemed so angry. *frown*

I didn't like that. And it's not that I have anything to say. So, I don't really have a post to write about. But I didn't want to end my posting on such a low note. Because the truth is.. I'm ok now. I'm actually kinda better than ok. Surprisingly. And, I just don't wanna dwell on ugly things anymore and concentrate on the positive and awesome changes in my life. So many great things to come. I'm truly blessed and I love so grandly. Everyday. :)))

I have a tumblr which I post on more frequently... but it's not blog posts. Just random spurts of me. Suits my needs a bit more. I like to think of it as my personal bulletin board full of cute fotos, ideas, feelings and such. It's alright.

Have an awesome day.
much love:
~G .xoxo.

Yes. Yes you are Pathetic & Ruined.

I didn't want to keep any old things anymore from a complete farce. I've gotten rid of mostly everything. But I never email anymore. Who the hell really does with facebook around now?? Plus, I use my uni account for important things. So, I had emails that I never deleted from years ago. Yah.. i know.. i'm SO terrible at housekeeping. So sue me. :P

Well, I'm doing a major overhaul on my life right now.. the rest is all mostly done or on its way. I figured I'd might as well deal with the smaller minor details as well. Clear out any last remaining remnants of old garbage.. right? So, I came across this little ditty at the end of my mailbox. Almost completely forgot about it! So, I reread it... and had a little chuckle. Ya.. i totally just said chuckle lol I'm hardcore nerd styles like that. ;D Frig.. read it yourself. Hysterical, isn't it??! :D

Anyways, thought I'd throw up this piece of crap on here to muse over. Since this IS my site of thoughts, ponderings, musings, experiences.. etc. etc. And at the time.. I was really moved by this little bit. It's funny how believable it may have seemed back then... many many moons ago. And how words can blur your thoughts and decisions and opinions so much.. until you finally learn the real ugly truth.

You were right about one thing though. Any other love would have been far far better love than yours could have ever been . Believe you me when I say that. With the most honesty & sincerity I could ever possibly muster up.

And maybe I seem like a real bitter bitch for posting this. But I'm not. Honest. I'm only actually thinking about it cuz I just came across this as I was deleting all these old files & emails I've had from way too long ago. Do I owe you some decency? Nawwwww.. not at all. In fact... I probably deserve to hang you for your despicable deeds. I'll just post your gay poem instead. Do I still harbour feelings of anger? naww.. the anger's pretty much subsided. The disgust, however.. is still lingering on. Disbelief? Naw.. that's gone too. It's still pretty much just only pure raw disgust over here. Not sure what that even means.. you figure it out. The only thing that bugs me is that I have to see your mug all the time walkin' & drivin' by in my hood. Can you move already? C'mon meow. You have two babies to take care of now.... get a nice lil' house in a nice little area. FAR away from me. Could you do me that one last favour? If I could have nothing to do with you, your face, your name or anything about you for the rest of my entire life.. I would be so completely happy and tranquil. For real FOR REAL! :)

Ok.. Now that I got that off my chest.. I can continue on my little deleting spree.

Enjoy this wonderful little bit people.
Cheers! :))) .xoxo.
~G.

___________________________________


[ -- removed by moi. -- ]


____________


[Sept. 24. 2011]
i removed the poem and crossed out what I wrote because I was in a very angry and hurt place back then. not to say that I'm taking back what i said and felt.. because I don't. at all. all those feelings were very real and most importantly, 100% justified. But I choose not to have such harsh hatred and bitterness in my life any more because it isn't worth it. and my heart doesn't need to be in such a dark place anymore. it doesn't deserve to be in those ugly shadows. so, i think it's time i lifted it out of there. :)

Starting now...

It's my world.

Here's to making brand new paths
and having paved over all the old ones.
Happy summer days everyone!

:)))

But before you finally go there's one thing you should know: That I promise -

Starting now I'll never know your name.
Starting now I'll never feel the same.
Starting now I wish you never came into my world.

Weakling.

The past few nights I have been tormented with these dreams and I have no idea where they came out of. I woke up in the middle of the night last night and couldn't even go back to sleep because of these wretched dreams. I've been so fine for so long now and totally in the clear. I don't understand it and it's put me into a head spin that I feel like the ground beneath my feet has given out. I don't know where it's coming from and the reason for it. All I know is that I don't want them to be there at all.
:(


I've spent my entire life bottling everything up. It may seem like I write a lot out and tell everyone everything because I'm always posting things on everything. But I'm only posting small bits of the story but maybe not entire truths always.


I went through my very old journal from 2003 and further back.. and reading those old entries made me think of how out of whack things were then. But then when I skipped onward to my 2nd blog.. i have only private entries on the recent posts.. dating back from mid 2007 until August 2008. I came across the most sincere letter I wrote to somebody... I don't know why I never sent it. Maybe it was wise.. it looks like i was grovelling in it.. but in reality, it was the most sincere I have ever been. When I've probably never been. Not with my thoughts and feelings. When you put yourself entirely out there you leave yourself completely vulnerable. I don't like to feel vulnerable. I hate it. So, I never put myself in that position. This is why I flee. This is why I hide, I turn away, I run, I move on.. call it whatever you want to. But when I cannot move forward in a way that will not leave me vulnerable.. the only thing I know how to do .. is retreat.

I don't know how I come across to the rest of the world. To my peers.. and everyone around me. But I know how I feel inside. I feel like the most vulnerable and soft person I have ever known in my entire life. My insides are soft marshmallow puff. Worse. Trust me. If you only knew what was really going on inside of my head right now.. you'd look at me in disbelief. "No way.. you seem so tough and happy go lucky & cheery all the time!" Ya.. maybe sometimes that's sincere.. but I can almost guarantee you that most times.. it's not.
:(


I have no idea why things have happened the way that they did in my life. I don't expect sympathy or pity hugs. I don't expect anything. I just want to be able to let go of so many things... I just want to open up. I'd love to know why..? But I won't hold my breath. So what if I seem so strong and I'll always pull through... but to me.. I am the biggest weakling I've ever known.. and I'm quivering on the ground every single day with how hopeless and defeated I feel and how scared .. terrified I am of loss and so many other things... when all I wish is to quiet that noise. And as cliché as it may sound.. just to be free.

Love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

With so much to take in that's been happening.. all that I've lived to witness so far.. it's SO so hard to maintain high hopes and positivity. I question the very reasoning for me being here.. every single day! when I don't fit in. I don't belong. My thoughts, my feelings and everything.. almost as if I'm on a different realm. The dis attachment of people. the lies. the deceit. the not caring. stabs and pushes. cuts and wounding. disinterest and shallow gazes. sell to the highest bidder. settle for the lowest bidder with charm & glitz. the list goes on. the pain goes on. and all this dishonesty and hurtfulness around me constantly tears my heart out of my chest on a daily basis. it's become so hard for me to breathe at times.

But occasionally.. just when I feel as if I've lost all hope in humanity and how it rears it's ugly head.. a little something special happens that reignites that little flame inside of my heart and it sets it aglow brighter than any star that I've ever seen in the sky. Thank goodness for tiny miracles, smiles and little lovely happenings. Thank goodness for all of those and more.

and oh, oh how could you do it?

no i, i never saw it coming......

I feel as if I've lost my desire to blog. Nothing I have to say is of much importance anymore. Not after everything that has occurred in the past few years. Not in the way that it is important that I feel the rest of the world needs to know. Well, the rest of the world doesn't need to know. And for that, I've resorted to taking up writing in my book by my bedside. I feel as if my stories are best told by my own hand for my own eyes to read. Anything else, the ones who need to know it, will know it. Does that mean I'm retiring my blog? Are my blogging days over? I'm not really sure what that means. I've always been one for impulsive outbursts of emotions spewed all over these internet pages... since the very first days of my xanga account. I've just had a lot of time to reconsider a lot of things. When certain things happen.. well, let's just say they're real big eye openers. In ways you never thought were possible. Am I angry? Well, no.. not really. I'm tired of being angry and upset. I've never felt as many changes come by me as I have in the past years of my life. In a way, I've been forced into these changes, time to rethink, redesign, reevaluate, etc.. you get the idea. I more into "let's do it" instead of "let's talk about doing it and write it down here". And right now, there isn't a whole lot I want to write down on here. I don't have the time, effort, motivation, desire, energy, etc.. to keep up a blog.. about.. well, about what? Nothing really. I have so much worth sharing.. yet it all passes so quickly that I haven't the time to document and jot it down. And I kinda don't wanna share it. Not with the world. Not right now.

So, I'll leave you with a little slide show video I made. As some of you may have already known, I took on the 365 Days project on Flickr last year and it came to an end this past March. It was a really awesome project but it was a huge commitment. Basically, you had to take one self portrait every single day for an entire year. A self portrait meant anything at all... so long as you were in the photo somehow and you were the one snapping the photo. I learned loads of stuff doing it and I would love to do it again in the future.. just not right now as I haven't the time to dedicate to such a time consuming project. But I'm so happy with the end result and the ways it allowed me to grow in my photography & photo editing skills.

Enjoy the video and enjoy this amazing weather we've been having! :)))

much love:
~G .xoxo.

Go fuck yourself.

I want to blog a nasty open letter.... but I'll refrain from letting off steam and writing out the most colourful and descriptive vulgarities that would make all the flowers in the area wilt. And although I'm upset right now.. and probably shouldn't be blogging.. I feel the need to have to let this out.

Because during this whole time of self discovery... I even thought that I was the reason behind things.. and looking for ways to cut you some slack. Even.. dare I say.. pardon the ways you were being.

How delusional I have been! How wrong and how NAIVE of me!

But.. there is no pardon. There is no excuse. There were only lies and deceit. and SO much of it. And I cannot even believe what I am seeing anymore. What is real. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. And I cannot believe how much of a coward and disgusting dishonourable person you are. I feel nothing but shame and horror and pity for those lives that you now hold in your hands.

I'm in shock. I'm horrified. I'm stunned.. I don't even know what to say.....

Was any of it ever sincere? When you were with me and with her too? Does that make you happy? Does it make you feel good? Is this what you were always looking for?

I hope it was. That and more.


Every single fond memory, thought or feeling I had left of you in my heart... has completely vanished without a trace. You are the most despicable person I've had the misfortune of ever meeting in my lifetime. And I hate that you were that only person in my lifetime. If I could do any one thing over... I would've never met you. I would've never loved you. I would've never known who you are. I would've never let you taken away from me the amount of things you have taken away from me all these years.

I would've chose differently.


I would not have chosen you.


:(

i gave you my purity.. and my purity you stole
did you think i wouldn't recognize
this compromise
am i just too stupid to realize
stale incense, old sweat, and lies, lies, LIES!!

Lists of Life.

The up and down weather has been putting my mood in a spin. Therefore, I have nothing to say or add that will inspire or anger anyone. Not today anyway.

I don't forward emails. Ever. (That was something I once did when I had a boring office job and I wasted my time away online.. which I'm sure many others are guilty of.) But I liked this little list. Thought I'd share it.

Happy Monday.
much love:
~G .xoxo.


The Do's & Don'ts of Your Lifetime

• ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
• TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
• THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
• FOUR . When you say, 'I love you ,' mean it.
• FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
• SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
• SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
• EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
• NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
• TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
• ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
• TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
• THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
• FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
• FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
• SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson!
  
• SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
• EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
• NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
• TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
• TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

________________________

Music Monday: Al Bowlly ~ Guilty

If I was a Rich Girl...

If I was a wealthy girl...

.... I'd buy all these things and more. ^__^

{ all above items from my favourite site ever: Shana Logic }


i think these would look so friggen cute with my already there butterfly tattoo on my leg! ^__^



{ above item from Etsy shop }



{ above item from Tarina Tarantino }





{ above items from Sephora }



Happy Monday. ♥

much love:
~G .xoxo.


______________________________________


Music Monday: Maybe I'll Catch Fire - Alkaline Trio

You've waited a long time for this life... just to ruin it.

A countdown to two things you cannot should not live life without...

{ music }

12 more days 'til brmc. ♥

{ chocolate }

15 more days 'til cadbury creme eggs, cadbury mini eggs, chocolate milk & nutella. ♥


Many good things to come. Indeed. :)))
Happy weekend.

much love:
~G .xoxo.

____________________________

Cause I might break and I might bend
your heart strings out of tune again
And I might try to apologize..
on a good day... on my best day
If you stick around.

I've got a big fat fucking bone to pick with you my darling.

I really don't feel like blogging.. but only because I'm being lazy. Because I really do want to share my music news with you. Who am I talking about?

Alkaline Trio. That's who.
{haha suddenly the phrase "I'm Naboo, that's who!" popped into my head.}

{and although I'd love to go an on about BRMC's new album that just came out yesterday... I'm going to leave this post for alk trio updates. I have a BRMC concert coming up too.. I'm sure I will have more to post on it. and they each deserve their own post}

So, Alkaline Trio's new album "This Addiction" was just released. I love it. With their usual sound and extra added oomph to it. Tracks like Dine, Dine, Dine My Darling ... Fine... & Off The Map become instant faves. The title track is also pretty amazing.. which was their first single and they have a video released for it as well. But you can go look that up yourself.

I went to their show last weekend at the Phoenix Concert Theatre and it was amazing. I've seen them several other times (at the Opera House, the Warehouse, Sound Academy) but the sound was, by far, the best at the Phoenix. But I've always enjoyed that venue for shows in the past. {Which is partly why I'm so excited to see BRMC there in a few weeks}

I took a few fotos at the show.. but I brought my little camera with me so, the fotos leave a lot to be desired.. but I can't complain. :)





But... the best part was their last song they performed.. which is one of my favourites. I got it on film. The sound quality isn't the best. If it were at any other venue, I'm positive the sound would have been inaudible and completely crap.

So, here's the video I caught of Alkaline Trio performing Radio. :))))



So much amazingness!! :)))


Anyways, go out and get their album. They're so amazing. As ever.
And I would just like to say.. a huge thank you to Shane .. from the bottom of my heart for introducing me to Alkaline Trio so many years ago. (and straylight run & TBS.) --
{on a side note, TBS always trumps Brand New. Sorry love.}

So........ as I continue on my exam studying streak and working on awesome assignments for my Nutrition class (which I adore).. all the while brimming with excitement over the upcoming BRMC concert on April Fool's day.. I'm going to leave you with my favourite track off the new Alkaline Trio album.

AND... I will add that they will be on Letterman tonight! So.. WATCH IT!

AND... I will also add.. that I've been chocolate free for 3 weeks now.. and it's not looking pretty. But.. Easter is approaching soon. And then I will reach for those mini eggs and drown in their chocolaty goodness... Mmmm...

much love:
~G .xoxo.


And i can row row row my boat back to shore some day
so, are you coming with me? Anchors away!! :)

'Cause it was what I wouldn't do...

It's funny how things seem to be recycling themselves over and over again all around you. And by one way or another... you get dragged into that spin cycle again. Not by choice. Never by choice.

Because it was never about making the choices that you wanted to make.
No. Because we all know what we all would choose instead.
We would want to choose to succumb... to give in... to drown in it.

But instead, it was only about the choices you make..... that you had to make.
Lest you drown forever..... with such sweet suffocation.. and sorrow.
Worst than any addiction one can have. One can kick.

Here's to all the strangled souls who have made these decisions.
Here's to coping and trying to pacify the fire within.
Here's to one more day that you've done it.
Here's to me and you. and you. and also you.

Happy Friday.

much love:
~G .xoxo.

Finito.

Today was the last day of my 365 project. I cannot believe that I've already reached the end of it. I didn't even think that I would see this project through to the end.. but here I am now. I'm a little glad that I don't have to be taking fotos of myself anymore (for once.. haha).. and will be able to focus more on other things now. Hooray.


Below you can see a little collage of sorts that I put together of my all time favourite shots throughout the year. Or view the entire 365 foto set here.

much love:
~G .xoxo.

P.S. Happy Birthday Mammina. *baci*














{ click on the thumbnail for the larger size }