I've been away for a while..

Today is two months that my cousin Giacomo passed away. Me and my sister went to his grave site to leave some flowers. Although, I do not feel his presence at all when I am there. I am aware that his soul has departed from his body.. still, I am happy to be able to leave my token of love and affection somewhere.

I still can't believe that he isn't here anymore. Every smile and laugh I share with his wife and beautiful children is simply the most amazing and heart wrenching thing I can ever experience. Knowing full well that my cousin will never be there physically to enjoy them that way.. and knowing that my baby cousin's will never ever have the chance to meet their most amazing and incredible dad. I want to tell them about him forever. I'll never ever stop missing him.

I haven't really posted too much lately cuz i don't really have a whole lot to say. I've been mostly keeping to myself these past few weeks. Perhaps hibernating and going into seclusion of sorts. I've been doing a lot of reflecting on things.. and what's important... and what isn't. I guess something like this happening really does open your eyes and gives you a whole new appreciation of love, life and living.

I've definitely been re-evaluating my priorities.. and all those things I've wanted to do.. but i'll do later.. well, I'm not gunna do them later. I'm going to do them now. While I still can. Why wait for tomorrow? Too much postponement on life... too much hesitation.. and time wasting. And then.. one day you realize that all you ever really wanted was at your fingertips. But you let it pass you by. And then.. well, then.. it's just too late.

The world doesn't stop for you. Not for me. Not for anyone.

It's time for me to live my life for me.

I have a whole new awareness that I never experienced before. But it's a good feeling. And I feel more alive than ever. I'm so thankful for every minute I have.. that brings such wonderful experiences to my life.

I have no regrets. I have no resentment. I have no hate or ill feelings. I just have a hope that will never stop burning bright. And my heart is full of a Love that will never ever run dry.

I wish well wishes upon everyone.
Do not be selfish. Do no regret.
Make the most out of everything... and do not waste any amazing oportunities that life gives you. Trust me... they will not come by you again.



"A mighty pain to love it is,
And 'tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain."
~ Abraham Cowley

The Real Thing.

This is my favourite song off the L.A.M.B CD by Gwen Stefani. Well, probably my most favourite Gwen solo song. Anyhoo.. they used the *slow jam* version of the song.. which i love much better than the actual album track which is a bit more dancey. :)) It's a really sweet song. There's no official video for this song.. but this is the video they played in the background during the concert. Check it out:

Are you a good friend?

"The best antique is an old friend." - Anonymous

Even if you aren't an antique lover, you can probably appreciate old things. The most worthwhile, long-term investment you can make is investing in relationships. A healthy, edifying friendship can have a huge impact on your well-being, character, and even your success. Old friends have seen us through celebrations, grief, births, graduations, marriages, and so much more. They love us for who we are--warts and all! Think about the most formative friendships in your life and consider writing a note of appreciation to each of your friends. Maybe there are some buddies that you need to reach out to because they have a need, or others you just need to reconnect with. Your gratitude shows them that they are cared for, which everyone needs to know.

-- taken from Spark People's Healthy Reflections.

Time slips through our fingers....

My heart is broken... I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. I have dreams... And the tears won't stop falling..... I miss you Giacomo. I don't know why you left us so early... I don't think it's right. You should have stayed with us longer. You had your whole entire life ahead of you. It's not fair! It's just not fair! I feel like I've lost interest in every single thing around me and just want to stay alone behind closed doors..

I never pictured every minute without you in it... oh, you left so fast... :`(((











I don't know what a life worth living is anymore....
:`((((

I can see your face in our secret place.

Yesterday a hole was made in my heart bigger than anything else I've ever felt in my entire life. My cousin Giacomo passed away. I'm having a hard time accepting this. I still cannot believe it's true. I expect him to come waltzing through the door any minute.. being all silly like he usually was.. and laughing, joking and all dramatic. He was classic for his hilarious scenes.

No words can express the loss and hurt and pain that I am feeling. I am in such a state of shock and disbelief. My heart goes out to his mother and father... my cousins and his brothers Michele, Giovanni, Gaetano & Vince Anthony and to his wife and babies he left behind, Elizabeth, Antonina and Vincenzo. I love you guys so much. I have a lot of cousins.. but you guys are the only cousin's I've ever really known. You guys are like brothers to me and the most dearest to my heart ever. I love you i love you i love you..

I'm posting this because I want everyone to know about him. I wish everyone could have known him and had the pleasure of his company because he had a marvelous way with people. And I never want anyone to forget him. I never ever want to forget about him. He should be here now.. he should not be gone....and I will never ever for the life of me.. accept this and understand why this happened.

Baby boy, I will forever miss our singing, our playing... I will forever miss your smiling face.
:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

~ RIP Giacomo. ~
July 14th 1979 - January 23rd 2009
Ti amo per sempre e mi mancherai per il resto della mia vita.

Wishing you were here with me...

And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
God wouldn't let it live...

Earthbound Starlight.

I wanted to post Duncan Sheik's newest video. I'm absolutely in love with this song. I've had it posted on MySpace for a while now so, you may have already heard it on my page before. Anyhoo.. CHECK out the video! It's amazing! I loveth him. and this song is so beautiful.


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EDIT: -- i had to remove the embedded video because it was playing audio ads on my page.

You can click here to see the video. :)))
SEE EARTHBOUND STARLIGHT HERE

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In other news: Paramore is opening for No Doubt!!!! hell fucking YEAH!! :)))))))

ciao ciao.
*mUaH*.xoxox

Freddo!

DAMN. it's fucking COLD outside. this.. is.. why.. i need.. to ... move.. FAR AWAY. where it's forever warm. and a paradise of sunshiiIIiiIiiNe and warmth and palm trees. or sumpin like that. cuz i need bellisima summer days. and not this stank ass frigidness that is our winter. yep.
:)))

I don't have anything to say really. But i felt bad cuz I never post in here anymore. I'm really too busy but I swear I'm still alive and kicking. Wildly! hehe

Oh.. i can leave you with a picture of my new coat. yah.. it's not some glamourous photoshopped pic like i normally post. so, tough titties. this will have to do. i look all shiny and extra gross. but but but i couldn't care less cuz my coat is fucking cute and lovely. yes. it is. i love it. it's greatness. in a perfect shade of blue. i should wear more blue. it's my colour anyways for September.. but I don't think i own too much of it. i think everything in my closet is black. Haaaa.. anyhoo mother licker. hehe.. here's my picture. it's nasty. but my coat is fucking kick ass. and my room is a sloppy mess. so, don't mind it.



Oh OH oh.. and if yer bored and have a Twitter.. (or if you don't).. you can check me out on there and see what i'm up to. cuz i know you REALLY want to know and keep tabs on me. Haaa.. right. anyways. i have to go do stuffs. you know all those kinds of stuffs that you have to do. right? right! :)))))

Ciaociao.xoxox.

I can go to the Ocean.

Just wanted to say HAPPY NEW YEARS to everyone! Hooray for a fantastic year that lays ahead of me.. well, and all of you too i'm sure. hehe ;))

Florida was fantastic. The highlight of my trip was me swimming in the ocean. Yes.. i'm well aware it was pretty fucking cold by the ocean. But ... i'm kinda kooky like that. and yes. i ran in. haha the waves were so fucking mental and high. Beach patrol drove by and yelled at us to get out of the water. Pshaw..

Anyhoo. Big hugs and kisses to everyone and hope this new and fresh and awesome new year brings you everything you wished for and a whole lot more!! :) *mUaH*



(C'ést Moi.. in the Atlantic Ocean.....Being pummeled by huge ginormous waves.)

Missing Persons: Ani Ashekian

A friend of mine asked me to spread the word about this. One of his friends has gone missing and everyone is being asked to help in some small way or another. Let's hope and say a prayer that she does make it back safely home. Please repost this on your blogs or anywhere people can see it and let others know. Spread the word! Thanks so much! : )
_____


Ani Ashekian has gone missing. She traveled from Toronto to Beijing on Oct 24th, 2008. She then traveled to Hong Kong on November 9th.Her family and friends have not heard from her since November 10th. If you have seen her, please email FindAniAshekian@gmail.com






Watch the video for more information:


Facebook group:
MISSING: Ani Ashekian

Buon Natale a Tutti!!

Just wanted to wish everyone a wonderful and very Merry Christmas! This is my lil'gift pour vous. Yes.. i sang expeshiallies for all of you. Feel special. hehe Have a GREAT week and even better New Years. I'll be leaving Friday for Florida. Don't miss me too much.
big hugs and kisses!!! .xoxoxoxoxoxo.
:))))


(oh and don't forget to pause/stop the music in my player before you hit play.)



-- and yes.. i DID say FUCKING PIE in the song. hehehe ;))))

Arcobaleno.

There is the sun. And there is the rain. Being quite opposite in nature, very seldom they will appear together. But those times when they do, a magnificent rainbow appears in the sky. And although it is not often.. when it does appear, it is the most beautiful and radiant thing there could ever possibly be.

Inked Nation.

Wow! I just logged onto inked nation today and I was on the front page...and i was like.. what the hell?? :/ lol Apparently, I'm one of the featured people on Inked Nation this week and you're posted right on the main page. That's mental! I have no idea how that happens. And I have no computer right now so, there's no way I can check that stuff out. I already had nearly 400 new msg's in my inbox. Holy hell!!

Anyhoo, friends.... if you have an account on there.. add me! :)))
www.inkednation.com/giusi

Now, I gots to go... I smell some chocolate chip pancakes being made for me.
:)))


*kisses*

A Long December

Hey, it's me. :)

I feel like writing a rant up... but I never have enough energy to focus on these negative things anymore. But I will say something.

It's funny how people make bad choices and wrong calls, cowardly weak attempts or really nothing at all.. but then after all is said and done, they still point the finger at you. Failing to admit their mistakes and forever claiming to be the good guy in the grande scheme of things and the other people were the ones who wronged them. I've heard the story so many times that I've memorized it. Eventually, you reach a point in your life when you realize that they're just making excuses and molding the scenery to fit their needs so that their fault in all of it can escape it. Nobody wants to be guilty. Nobody wants to be the bad guy. But you think because you deny it and claim otherwise that you don't feel it deep inside? Or maybe they don't feel it deep inside.. I'm not in their shoes and I couldn't even begin to imagine what goes through other people's minds. And I'm most definitely not about to start right now.. I have my own mindless banter in my head to worry about. hehe

What's my point. I'm not sure I have one really. I'm not angry anymore. I'm tired of being angry and let down. I feel sad because I guess it's what one does when you care a lot for people who can't think about anything outside of themselves for one instant. Being outside the comfort zone. Taking what someone says and running with it because we're all right and they're all wrong. Right? err.. or something...

For those people, I honestly wish that the choices you make will bring you the happiness that you were seeking. I hope that the hurt you caused people in the interim was all worth it for you. Because if you got what you acheived in the end.. then I guess for you it was well worth it. And fuck everyone else's feelings. Because honesty and sincerity pale in comparison to immediate wants and needs. Isn't that how it is? When you're seeking highs from the instant gratification of passing things.. but then they grow stale and you need new highs. When you're life is so hollow that you need to fill it with enormous things constantly to keep you feeling full and satisfied.

But really.. you don't need these passing material things and shallow temporary feelings to replenish your life. Because, they are exactly that. Temporary. What you need is something bigger than you. You need larger things to fill your soul. It's what counts at the end of the day. It's what ultimately satisfies your cravings and more importantly... it's what stays with you forever.

I am not sorry for giving people the trust and chances I have in the past. Everybody deserves to be heard. Everybody. And I'm not sorry for walking away from them because you can try to brave a storm, but you've got to be some kind of idiot if you choose to live in one.

No Doubt On Tour!

Yes. That's right. You are not dreaming. They're back.. with a vengeance. And you can bet yer friggen ass that there isn't anyone in this world happier than me right this very moment.

:))))))))))))))))))))))))))



Hell Fucking YEAH!!!

LONG LIVE NO DOUBT!!!!!

Check their website for more info.

Love.

"Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited; it is not rude and does not act unbecomingly. Love does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything without weakening. Love never fails."

F for Fake.

It's over today
The heat is gone
Time is gone
F for fake
I feel no wrong
Hide no wrong
I love this place
The lights
Under this face
So dry

Only way to change
Give yourself away
Don't be ashamed
Next in line
Close one eye
Just walk by

In these days
I'm breathing stone
Crying alone
I'll win this race
I'll leave alone
arrive alone.

Love this place
The lights
Under this face
So dry

Stripped to the bone
I did no wrong
Truth is my name
Give yourself away

F for fake
F for fake
F for fake
F for fake
Give yourself away
Give yourself away
Give yourself away





----


You tell me you like the taste
You just need an excuse
You tell me it calms your nerves
You just think it looks cool
You tell me you want to be different
You just change for the same
You tell me it's only natural
You just need the proof
Did you fucking get it?

IT'S IN MY EYES
AND IT DOESN'T LOOK THAT WAY TO ME
IN MY EYES

You tell me that nothing matters
You're just fucking scared
You tell me that I'm better
You just hate yourself
You tell me that you like her
You just wish you did
You tell me that I make no difference
At least I'm fuckin' trying
What the fuck have you done?

IT'S IN MY EYES
AND IT DOESN'T LOOK THAT WAY TO ME
IN MY EYES


[ Minor Threat - In My Eyes ]

Don't choke on the stardust baby...

In case you haven't noticed.. I changed my layout/template. I was bored with my old one and needed a change. I'm not too fond of this one to be quite honest.. but it was the best I could find. I have no time to make my own and I don't like to stay for a long period of time on my sister's laptop cuz it kinda sucks.. (my computer is broken right now and it's gunna cost me $200 to fix it. Being a broke student sucks sometimes.) So, whenever I get a chance and find something a lil'better.. I'll probably change it again. In the meantime.. this one is kinda cute I think.

Since we're on strike and I have all this extra free time, in between catching up on some readings, I've decided to clean up. I started clearing out ALL my closets and drawers. I just dumped everything on the floor. I threw out so much crap, I'm donating a whole whack of stuff and I'm packing away several other items that don't need to be around anymore. Wow. I cannot believe how much accumulated crap one person can have! Seriously.. I am way too sentimental and hold on to the weirdest shit. haaa.. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Anyhoo.. it's way overdue that some of that shit should go. Purging is good for the soul. :)))

I've been feeling better lately. Since my last ranting post, I've tried to look for ways that I can help myself and others. There isn't a whole lot I can do to change other people's ideas/thoughts/ways etc.. so, it's best that I don't dwell on those things and think positively and work on ways to improve and better the things that are well within my means. Sounds like a good sound plan if you ask me.

With that being said.. I wanted to post an old song on here that I heard and I love.. but I can't seem to find it anywhere on Youtube or anywhere else. That kinda sucks.. but oh well. I'm sorry that I can't share it with you. It's a nice song. It's called "Picture Elvis" by Moist. If you get a chance, download it and listen to it. It's pretty great. Moist in general is great.. well, David Usher is pretty talented I must say. I'm a fan.

By the way, I made up a new blog. It was just something I thought of and I'm really excited about it! Check it out here and let me know what you think.

Wow.. i'm listening to Max Trax the Edge on Rogers digital cable (it's my fave station on there) and they're playing a whole whack of old songs that I haven't heard in years! I love it!! :))) So, with that being said... I'm gunna go finish cleaning up my stuff while rockin' out to awesome tunes. HA.. that sounded pretty lame. ;))) K.. i'm gonzo.

.xoxo.

Lest We Forget...

Let us remember all those who have fallen to defend our country

and mourn for these fallen heroes of ours.

And let us hope & pray for a time

when we will no longer wage wars

and end this devestating loss of life.

:(

York on Strike.

No school... 'til who knows when.

Just greaaat.... : /
I think somebody up there just doesn't want me to graduate!!!

At least I can work some more hours and save up for Florida.
or at least some cute new clothes...

.xoxo.

Baby Zuma.

Finally.. after over two months, Gwen Stefani releases the first baby photo of lil'Zuma on her website. Can't say I'm too crazy about his name... but he's a real cutie. :)))))))


(click photo for larger view)