So not true....

Crap. :///

It hurts and I can't remember sunlight.

You, you know how to get me so low
My heart had a crash when we spoke
I can't fix what you broke
And you, you always have a reason
Again and again this feelin
Why do I give in

And I always was, always was one for cryin
I always was one for tears

The sun's getting cold, it's snowin
Looks like an early winter for us
Looks like an early winter for us
An early winter, oh I need you to turn me over

It's sad the map of the world is on you
The moon gravitates around you
The seasons escape you

And I always was, always was one for cryin
I always was one for tears
No I never was, never was one for lyin
You lied to me all these years

Why, why do you act so stupid
Why, you know I'm always right

Looks like an early winter for us
It hurts and I can't remember sunlight
An early winter for us
The leaves are changing colors
Starting over and over and over again.........





(i know there's an official video for it.. but i hate it cuz it cuts out key lines in the song)

Gwen lookin' pretty snazzy.

Gwen Stefani on the cover of V magazine. I think it's a pretty damn fantastic photo if you ask me! I was tired of the face close-ups of her being all glamorous with plastic like figurine poses and such, sporting the "I'm OH soo beautiful!" look............ *gag* hahaha just keeding.

I'm actually going to buy this one. Cuz I'll admit.. I haven't bought any magazines with Gwen on the cover for quite some time now.... *yawn*

Now, THIS is the stuff I wanna see!!! Go Gwenny Gwen Gwen!!

:)))))))))

tick tock tick tock....

GAWDDDDDDDDDDD..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have GOT to be the most impatient person in the entire world. My mind is racing a mile a minute and I can't do anything at all to ease it except WAIT. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

fuck. fuck. fuccccccccccccck.

A Fine Frenzy.

Guess who's going to see them?

Yep. You guessed it. I'm so friggen excited!!
: ))))

I was so sad that I missed their concert back in the fall... and I just about flipped out when I saw another Toronto date added last minute!

If you haven't checked them out.. then you should.

Here's one that's most appropriate right now...
:(

nite nite.




Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life...?

Get a hold of yourself, you're acting odd girl....

Kinda moody and I'm trippin
and my head is a block

What's the matter with me
I'm acting really odd
And I think you'd agree
There must be something wrong
What's goin on and on and on and on and on...??

I'm in line to buy time........

I'm like a beggar with no luck
I'm holding signs up
On your street corner stops
Like most you try not to see me
You stare straight ahead
Ignore the responsibility!!
Excuse me!!!!!!!
Well, I've been waiting in line
And I'd like to buy some of your time
I'm very anxious, eager, willing
What's you billing?

So please excuse me Mr.
You've got things all wrong
You make if feel like a crime
So don't confuse me Mr.
I've known you too long
All I need is a little of your time

For most love comes for free
They don't pay the high cost
Of mental custody
I'll pay bail for a guarantee
Make space for me
In the time yet to be
Excuse me!!!!!!!!!!
Well, I've been waiting in line
And I'd like to buy
Some of your time
I've been saving up my life,
What's your price?


What should I do
I'm about to crack
And there's a force
That comes over me
It's almost as if I'm tied to the tracks
And I'm waiting for him
To rescue me
The funny thing is
He's not going to come
He's not going to find me
This is the way I guess it has to be...
A Little of your time
I need a little of your time
Please, a little of your time

So please excuse me Mr.
You've got things all wrong
You make if feel like a crime
So don't confuse me Mr.
I've known you way too long boy
All I need is a little of your time

I'm in line to buy time..
I'm in line to buy time..............

New shades!!!

I went to Winner's to buy a new pair of runners.. cuz seriously.. my old ones were SO worn out and crusty looking.. that it was seriously embarrassing wearing them at the gym.. i felt like such a dirty hobo!!!!!!!! ew ew ew.

SO... while at Winner's.. i walked by the handbags.. and was passing the sunglasses rack when this one pair caught my eye.. they were dangling half off the rack.. and glistened gold.. they stood out from the rest of the bland looking shades. So, i picked them up..and put them on... and VOILA! they fit perfectly!!! I think my face is just really warped or sumpin.. cuz sunglasses never fit me nicely.. i have to search forever to find a pair that fit me snug and perfect. So.. contrary to my extremely warped facial structures.. these ones fit most divinely. So... haha even though i didn't *NEED* to buy them...... I purchased them anyways. That's my little splurge of the week. or month.. since i never go shopping anymore. but whatever!!! i need new shit. so, i don't feel that bad. and YES this entire post is about my fucking kick ass new sunglasses. w00t w00t!

and here they BE!!! : )))))))))))))))))



i LUFFF them!! they are most fabulousnessssssss.

now i must go and watch Tempesta (& overdose on mini eggs) before my sister kills me dead.

ciao ciao lovelies!!! :)))))))
*mUaH* .xoxoxo.

So bored...

I'm so bored as of late. With everything around me. Including this blog. I wanna change the layout.. but I haven't the faintest idea what to change it to. Any ideas?

I'm anxiously awaiting for these winter blahs to melt away...

Goodbye dark and drab.. hello sunshineyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy days.

: ))

Vacancy.

I'm so incredibly sad. There is no way to even begin to explain it because the words just end up getting lost... and the truth is that I only want one thing. Yet that one thing seems to be the most unattainable thing in the entire galaxy. So, I mope and sulk and nurse my wounds in the dark by myself while I lay here completely and utterly exposed to everything and everyone.

If I hold it in, it backfires. If I talk about it, it backfires. If I cause a fight, it backfires. If I lie about it, it backfires .. and even when I'm honest, it always backfires.

There seems to be no right doing in this situation. Not for me. I don't know how to be "non-thinking" about things. How can you be in something and not think about it? But then.. it's not really something is it? No... but it's not really nothing either is it? or is it?

I just don't know which way to turn anymore. And I'm afraid I've lost the fight...

I'm just feeling so sad.

Vicks & Robitussin.

I am SOOO sick again. I have this awful cough.. a chest cold or something.. maybe a flu.. no clue.. but I'm coughing up a storm. I try not to move or talk.. because I cringe at the thought of coughing. Everytime i do.. this insane pain shoots through my entire body causing me to jolt and flinch in agony. fun times huh? Anyhoo.. there seems to be a reason why I'm always sick.. and not so much that I'm always sick.. but I always tend to feel REALLY sick when i do get common colds and such. And.. it's not normal. Exciting? Yah.. that's what i thought. : (((

Anyhoo.. So, starting to today.. I have to cut out a shitload of things from my diet. I'm not allowed to have any caffeine anymore. Seriously.. i might just die on this alone because i live off my coffees. No more cigarettes. or booze. not that those were a huge problem considering i was more of a social smoker and i barely drink these days. But for the time being... nada. These are more on my own accord.

But in all seriousness.. there is something wrong and I'm undergoing testing right now to figure out what it is.. although... we kinda already have an idea. But I think at this point, I would just be satisfied knowing that there is something there and putting a name to it.. to explain all these aches and pains all the time. So, wish me luck. : )))

The return of saturn .. assessing my life... time to take the reins and get this shit in order. I gotta look after myself and fix it. The rest can wait.

Cheers! : )))

Happy Pancakes & Anniversary Day!

That's a double happy day. You got it! Two in one goodness. Oh yahhhhhh.. ; ))))

Today is Shrove Tuesday (or as others call it, Fat Tuesday or whatever else you'd like to call it). So, I got up bright and early this morning to make banana chocolate chip pancakes for my family. They be yummies and delish. And now i'm going to pass out. I just finished cleaning up.. I'm enjoying my coffee.. and I'll most likely go lay down again.. considering I didn't get much sleep and I've already been up for over 2 hours. Sick.

It is also my parents 36 year anniversary today. They already celebrated early and went to Casinorama yesterday.. my parents being major compulsive gamblers.. haha any excuse to go really.. hehe :))))))

Anyhoo.. buon anniversario mamma e papà!!

(this is an old pic of them that we have framed.. maybe i should get it fixed for them..
maybe it'll be next years present.. haha!)

___________

Edit: And VOILA! here's an edited version of the picture. Thanks toShhphotos on flickr!! : )))))

But never is a promise and I'll never need a lie

You'll never touch these things that I hold
The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own
You'll never feel the heat of this soul
My fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown to you.....

A Bit of the Best.

This is BRMC's Peter Hayes singing/playing Fault Line. They're honestly one of the best bands out there. I seriously love this guy to pieces. He's trés yummies and amazingly awesome and talented. And this song is pretty fucking fantastic on one of their best, in my opinion. If you haven't listened to them yet.. then you should. You don't know what you're missing. Seriously. I'm not kidding. DOO EEEET! Cheers.

Gwen wants a bun to bite.

Or rather... she ingested a bun.. and now the bun is in the oven...
her oven, to be exact.. errr.. or sumpin like that.


Yes. Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale are expecting their second child.
And of course.. i'm always the last to know. lol

anyhoooooooo...

Congratulations! How exciting! : ))))))



View the story HERE and HERE and also HERE.

HELLA PRICEY HOBO!

Yah.. so, check this out... .. I got this bag about 5 years ago.. my ex bought it for me in New York City when they first came out. Yep.. first season LAMB bags.. large hella hobo Gwen Stefani bags from Leportsac. For those not familiar with the product.. check it out in the picture (the PURSE i'm wearing.. stop looking at me licking the cone.. you perverts..)



Now check this shit out. The friggen bag is selling for $500 on eBay. Nuts? Yah.. i thought so. Check it out for yourself: click click click

Good times.

Maybe I should sell my LAMB bags? I could use some crack money.

; ))))

Cheers!

Um Amore Per Sempre...

...dura solo un instante......?



Spero di no.



TLF <3

About this chickie.

HA .. yah that was the title on my old website info page. I came across it and i laughed at the shit i wrote in it about 8 years ago. Anyhoo.. i saw this astrological profile thingie for me that i posted at the time.. and i was just reading it.. and i can't believe how true it still is about me. Hrmm.. i guess people never really change. ANyhoo.. i'll post it on here. . since i don't plan on linking you to my old website. cuz it's pretty gayness.. CHEERS! : )))

___________________________

Virgo in love
August 23-September 22
© 2000 Linda Rankin

Virgo is the mutable earth-sign. There is movement but it is controlled, thought oriented and grounded. Virgo is a mind ruled person and they give their love slowly and with great seriousness. They dislike overt and grand standing displays of attention or emotion and will retreat inside themselves to escape it. They are a controlled person and their emotions fall into that category. When their heart is captured their loved on becomes a receptor to all the feelings and passions that Virgo has been keeping inside. At times even more expectations and conditions can be piled onto the lover simply because they are now holding the Virgos cherished feelings and dreams. In love they are devoted, loyal and nurturing. They have high self expectations and equally high expectations of their loved ones. They adore strength especially the dignified and quiet kind. They will tend to and take care of their loved one with diligence and focus.....it has become their 'job'. Love has to make sense for the Virgo...it has to fit into their idea and ideal of what their life is about. Once a lover has managed to slip into one of their dreams or plans the Virgo will hold onto that picture forever. They will go out of their way to make the union work and will spare no sacrifice in keeping it alive.

Virgo Sexuality: Virgos needs a certain setting, a definite layer of built up trust and privacy to allow their sexual sides to come out and play. Cleanliness is always important as is the 'right' setting. Virgo is inherently shy especially about their sensual needs but don't let that shyness fool you into thinking there is no fire lurking below the surface. They can become as devoted and focused on exploring their sexuality with a trusted lover as they are about making their life work. They have a completely uninhibited (yes this word applies to Virgo) potential that is lust filled and yet still retains a sense of purity. Virgos are notorious for their high standards in selecting a sexual partner but once those standards have been met pure sensual pleasure is the reward.

The long term story: Life is orderly with a Virgo. Some may live in a messy house with overflowing laundry and unorganized shelves but within your mate there is some sense of strict control that is directed into some facet of life. They are caretakers and need to feel comfortable enough to slip into that role. They can nag and criticize but they usually have their lovers best interests at heart. They don't mind taking on more than their share of work and once committed they stay committed. They are time oriented, schedule craving souls who cannot tolerate a late mate or a scattered life energy.

Positive Traits in Love: Nurturing, devoted, uninhibited, caring, loving, sacrificial, quiet, considerate, protective.

Negative traits: Coldness, inability to be demonstrative, calculating, hard edged, overly critical, judgmental, compulsive.

What Virgo likes:
• Feeling secure.
• Personal cleanliness.
• Routines.
• Loyalty
• Being pampered when down.
• Equality
• Subtle displays of romance.
• Dedication
• Being active

What Virgo Dislikes:
• Tardiness
• Vulgarity
• Loud displays of affection.
• Personal untidiness.
• Hypocrisy
• Weakness
• Complaining
• Idleness

Confusing.

___________________________________

CONFUSE: – verb (used with object), -fused, -fus·ing.

1. to perplex or bewilder: The flood of questions confused me.
2. to make unclear or indistinct: The rumors and angry charges tended to confuse the issue.
3. to fail to distinguish between; associate by mistake; confound: to confuse dates; He always confuses the twins.
4. to disconcert or abash: His candor confused her.
5. to combine without order; jumble; disorder: Try not to confuse the papers on the desk.

Main Entry: baffling
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: puzzling
Synonyms: abstruse, bewildering, beyond one, confusing, difficult to understand, enigmatic, hard to understand, incomprehensible, mystifying, over one's head, perplexing, unclear, unfathomable

___________________________________

Yup. Thought I'd throw in the text book definition of the way I've been feeling as of late. Most definitely and overwhelmingly confused. Not entirely because of myself though. You see.. it's mostly on behalf of others intentions, actions, lack of thereof, so on and so forth..

So.. I've decided.. instead of sitting around trying to decipher what the hell so-and-so wants.. or really means.. or is thinking.. or the reason they did this and that.. etc etc.. Well, i decided.. To hell with that! to hell with them! To hell with you and all your friends!!! (and YES...... I just had to throw in some TBS to the mix.. just cuz i fucking felt like it.)

No.. seriously. I'm going to drive myself mental trying to interpret and read into everything someone does. So.. here's the game plan as of now. I'm going to worry about my own lil'self for the time being and HEY.. when you decide what you want...when you want it.. and how the hell you want it.. well, you know just where to find me and friggen tell me. Until then... have a pleasant trip. I am not going to be at your beck and call to suit your needs just because you haven't the faintest idea of what you want. It's not fair and it's certainly consuming and .. well.. as the title so blatantly points out... Confusing!!

I'm unloading this excess cargo and taking this trip on my own.

All aboard!!!!!!!!!!!!

goff wh0re.

groovemonkey: lets go to Wicked when i am in toronto
groovemonkey: i am sure you know about club wicked
groovemonkey: cuz you are a goth whore that likes steroided she males


hahaha the monkey is visiting Toronto. Everyone.. stay off the streets.
Don't say I didn't warn you.