only in my head...

even if the skies get rough....... :) ♥

2012-01-28T12:42:00.003-05:00

First Skate & 3 years passed

2012-01-23T23:06:00.007-05:00

Me and my sister took the girls for their first skate yesterday at the same arena that we, ourselves, skated at while growing up. It was the cutest thing ever and I am SO thrilled they did so well!! awwwww :))))) my lovelies! Now the skating ritual is passed down to the next generation. It makes me so so happy and pleased. :)))))

I don't like to post pix of them, but I just had to post these because I'm so proud of how well they did and they looked SOOOO damn adorable and sweet. Mind you.. my back is SURE paying it hardcore today.. lol 2 hours bent over the ice is pure hell on your back.. thank GOD for Robaxecet!!!! hehehe :)))) Watch out people.. .here are the next women's Canadian Hockey team members!!!! RAWR!!!! hahahahaha

P.S. I would like to say that today is the 3rd year anniversary of my dear cousin Giacomo's death. There isn't a moment's time when I don't think about you Giacomo. You're always missed... you're one in a million and you're a bright and shining star in my sky forever.

i miss you soooo much :'((((((((((

Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground

2012-01-19T19:00:00.002-05:00

Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around

All of these questions, such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues strong
But it's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it up, shake it out, shake it up, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it up, shake it out, shake it up, shake it out, ooh woaaaah

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah

I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
Cause I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone
It's always darkest before the dawn

Oh woah, oh woah...

And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope
It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat
Cause looking for heaven, for the devil in me
Looking for heaven, for the devil in me
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2012-01-18T20:44:00.003-05:00

i don't have much to write. just didn't get a chance.. and wanted to wish everyone many many well wishes and the bestest of luck and amazingness for the brand spankin' new year of 2012!! good vibes all around to everybody! :)))) .xoxo.

p.s. i bought a webcam! haaa it's my first one i bought on my own. haven't used one in YEARS!
and this one SUCKS! hehehe but it was cheap.. cheap is GOOD!
and now i can skype on my PC. what what!! :))) .much love. ^__^

NEW NEW NEW

2011-12-03T13:36:00.007-05:00

it's meeeeeeeee! and all seems to be fine and dandy in the world that is giusi.
6 months has gone by with the most lovely person by my side. love is a beautiful thing indeed.

so... since this year seems to be coming to an end, i'd like to end it off with things i need more of in my life. So here's my list........................... hold on tight!!! ^__^

{ -- Giusi's Top 10 List -- }
.: of what she needs more of in her already fruitful life :.

1. BLOGGING: Yes..yes.. i say it over and over again that I suck at keeping up with my blog. I'm mostly busy all the time. But seeing as my path is going to change yet again.. i think i'm going to need more organization in my life.. with all the chaos around me constantly.. i need some consistency of things i love to do. and this is one of them. w00t w00t.

speaking of which.. i'd like to shoutout my new favourite blog Hawaii Kawaii Blog ... it has super duper amazingness explosion ALL the time.. and it's most adorable and lovely. I'm in love with it's cuteness galore!! ^__^

and of course... and old favourite.. the cute institute.. never fails to impress with it's uber kawaii vectors and great stuffs. be sure to check them both out and favourite them!!

2. FOTO TAKING: My foto taking skillz seems to be limited cell fone snaps and instagrams as of late. a very limited and cheating method if you ask me. I hope to take more time in my new year to focus on photography as i used to. I barely take pix of myself anymore either.. lol what's up with that?? hahaha my poor Flickr has been neglected so much in the last few months. It's time to get snapping again and photoshopping. I miss my cool edits... which brings me to my second edition of a 365. Which I am unsure when i will resume.. I'm currently working on scrapbooking my first one. I'm not even a quarter of the way done. 365 pix is a lot to get through.. i'm barely up to foto #30! hahaha lazy bones that i am. but hey.. i will get there.. slowly but surely!!! :D

3. HEALTHY HABITS: I've reached a totally yucky point in my life in terms of health and how i feel and look etc.. last year I injured my ankle badly in soccer (football)... and well, ever since then.. it's never been the same. It's in constant pain.. I can no longer exercise or walk for long or anything. I'm not sure what to dealio is.. and it's undoubtedly my own fault for leaving the injury alone thinking it was just a mild sprain and going off gallivanting in New York city.. walking 8 hour days from upper manhattan to Greenwich village & Soho.. and then re-registering to soccer whilst it was still completely effed up. Good job girl! needless to say.. my ankle is totally FUBAR right now. and with that.. came yuckie emotions and all those lovely girly things we get... which in turn meant i put on a whole whack load of weight. which sucks. A LOT!!! so, i'm determind to change that and get back to the part i was this time this year.. which was pretty alright! and maybe even better. But it's a hard thing to do with the pain of my ankle.. hopefully, leaving my job will help a bundle.. as I'm sure it added to the wreckage of my injury.. but we'll see. it shall be amazing once again.. or close to it. I can't wait to become a healthier more in tune me. Right now I'm consulting with a naturopathic nutritionist to aide in my journey to inner wholesomeness. wish me LUCK!!! :))))))

4. INK: yesssssssss I need more INK in my life. hahahaha I have a whole series of tattoos I need to get sooon. I've been waiting on forever! THere are two that i have drawn out myself that I have been waiting on.. and i'm going to get one this month I've decided. Waiting forever is just nonsense. and i've waited a long time already. It's been 3 years since my last one. Time for new lovely ink on me. ANd POOOOOO to the people who have anything negative to say about it. Suck it. I govern my own body. You govern yours.

5. HARAJUKU LOVERS BAG: I've been dying to get a Harajuku lovers bag forever... and a super cute one.. the knock off one i own from Pacific Mall is cute.. but not enough. I want a real one. NOW. lol and i'm SOOO upset that when I went to Macy's in the US last weekend they weren't even CARRYING THEM! what is UP with that?? darn it all to HELL man! anyhoo.. i have my sights set on this particular one that i wanted from the start... hope i get it. ;)))

6. FRUITS & VEGGIES: hahaha you'd think being a vegetarian would mean i eat plenty of these.. but believe me when i say.. IT's a MYTH!!! lol... i'm probably more of a CARBATARIAN than anything else. ... ( i swear it's CUZ OF my ITALIAN roooots.. i lubbb my pasta and breads!! nom nom nom!!) which is totally bad bad bad for you. Let me make that clear.. not to say that carbs are bad for you.. cuz they're totally not.. and you need your 6-8 servings of whole grains per day! but most of us aren't even getting the good kinds of whole grains you should be having. like all those white breads and crusty breads.. mostly bad for you.. the wheat has been so processed and bleached..and the more refinery done to our wheat and such.. the worse for you. SO.. i need to curb my delicious starchy foods.. and opt for healthier ones.. and include WAY WAY more fruits in my life. I'm fruit deprived in a major way. i know.. horrible. *sad face*... so i'm gunna stuff my face with a billion apples and pears and such this new year. i PROMISE!! hehehe :))))))) i guess my title of *fruitful* life is a LIE isn't it?? Haaaa i'm so funnny.... *eyeroll*...

7. VACATIONS: oh yaaaaaaaah boy!!! I know i went to Myrtle beach this summer.. but it wasn't much of a vacation cuz i felt like we were arguing all week.. family trips can get a little tense like that sometimes.. hehehe so, hopefully me and my boo can plan something totally rad and amazing for the new year. but we'll seeeeeee... in the meantime.. i'm planning a california Trip to go visit my TOTALLY rad and Amazing friend Miss Puss whom i ADORE like MAD! cuz she's so totally wicked and awesome and a truly special and fantastical person!! i swear! since she already made the trek here (and in the SNOWWWWWWW TOO!) i'm gunna cart my ass over there.. cuz i've been dying to go to cali forever! my other friend who lives in San Diego may get a mini visit too.. we shall see. She may come up to see me though. but anyhoo.. VACATIONS ARE IN MY NEAR FUTURE!! yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! ^__^

8. MORE CONCERTS: I'm actually super duper insanely jealous and sad that a certain someone is at some concert right now with TAKING BACK SUNDAY, BUSH and SUBLIME!!!!! and i'm NOT!! and they don't even LIKE THESE BANDS!!!! *HMPH*... the sweet words "i wish you were here with me" isn't very comforting at the moment... waaaaaaaaaaah!!! so cryin on the inside.. and the OUTSIDE even!! i'm jealous of you. a lot. a lot a lot. not only do i not get to see you for an ENTIRE WEEK.. but you have to rub it in and go watch all these flippin bands i adore. THANKS A BUNCH baby! *GRRRRRRRRRRRRR* so.. with that said.. i definitely plan on seeing more shows this year.. cuz i'm jonzin hardcore for music and live shows. I saw Taking Back Sunday already this year.. so i don't feel totally horrible about it. I love them a lot... :))) but i'm scanning ticketmaster constantly for BUSH to come to TOronto. HURRY UP! the kills have a show in the new year. i'd love to go see them. they are pretty amazing! :))))) let's see what else is out there for me!! yay MUSIC! yay BANDS! yay ya YA YA YAYA!!!!!

9. SYMPHONY: soooooooooo.. this lady at my work says that she volunteers for the toronto symphony all the time.. and they always look for people.. i'm totally into the idea of doing this! i'm looking into it as we speak and getting some extra funds to repair my poor clarinet *sad face* that broke during my last year in wind symphony at YOrk U. waaah! the poor lill thing..... once i get it all fixored up, i'm gunna practice a shitload and email all these places in Toronto and see what i can do. the feeling of playing in an ensemble is incomparable.. trust ME! it is the most fulfilling feeling ever.. and it's so beautiful and vibrant and i cannot wait to be part of that again. so..i really sincerely hope to get going towards that soon soon SOON! :))))

10. BORING HAIR: actually.. this is what i'm gunna "need" in the new year.. but DON'T want.. :((((((((((((( and i'm dreading it a lot.. so, i'm gunna have super insane hair for the next few weeks to get it out of my system. Seeing as I'm gunna have to start interviewing for some job positions in the new year, I'm totally gunna need grown-up boring hair.. and that makes me super duper sad.. you have NO idea!!! i have like semi shaved punky hair with all kinds of pink and rad colours all over it for the past little while.. and to know i have to get rid of all that to find myself a job makes me very tearful and sad. Stupid world and it's conformists. You suck the bag! a lot.. :(((((((((((((((((((((((((

sooooooooooooooooo... there you have it. My lovely list of things i need in the new year. of fabulouslessness (and no so fabuloussness..) but hey. dems the breaks. I'm happy to write new stuffs. and i wish very merry love to everyone. I can't believe it's already December! wowwieee! Happy end of the year to ALL! Be good for SANTA! and mostly for you!

much love:
~Giusi .xoxo.

Anything at all...

2011-09-30T22:15:00.004-04:00

one look
from you
i drift
away
i pray
that you
are here
to stay

anything you want
you got it
anything you need
you got it
anything at all
you got it
baby...
♥

My life in instagram.

2011-09-25T01:39:00.004-04:00

I never blog anymore. I don't have the time. Nor the interest in it. Plus, I did not have internet for a while there.. and plus I am never home anymore. But I wanted to post some pix because I'm thoroughly obsessed with instagram. And the neatness of it. Aren't I such a cool kid.. (not). Anyhoo, I felt it important to share that I thought that every foto should, from now on, only be taken in instagram. Because it's far more fun & spectacular that way. Word.

Oh, I also wanted to add that I've decided to scrapbook my 365 project. I went to Michael's with MissC today and there were aisles and aisles rammed with scrapbook stuffs. Holy hell man.. who knew this shit was this bad ass and popular! I'm completely obsessed about it! I cannot wait to get started and make all kinds of cuteness and radness happen all over that shizz. Stay tuned for foto updates. Most probably in instagram format.. hehe ;)

So, I've decided to leave it all behind me and trek on forward. December 11th is the final day of work for me from the place I've been with for 17 years. Insanity, huh? I'd say... I'll be glad to finally shut that door. Onward to far better and much more rewarding endeavors. Plus my back effin aches. A lot. Oww..

P.S. I turned 33 last week. And I totally got 12 .. YES 12.. bars of Dairy Milk MINT chocolate for my bday.. hahahah fucking NUTSO!! and SOOO YUMMMO!!! *drooooL*.
Hooray for ME!! And for all the awesomeness to come.

Here's to brand new beginnings. Cheers!

much love:
~G .xoxo.

and so it is....

2011-04-26T23:48:00.004-04:00

I actually don't have a whole lot to write. I just kinda wanted to post a quick teensie little foto montage of shite... just cuz I'm always neglecting my blog. I can't help it really.. I don't have anything life altering to share ... and plus these days I'm barely ever home anymore...

I actually kinda have a lot to say.. but it's probably just a bunch of emotional jibberish.. So, I've been thinking I should just keep it to myself. Cuz i'm really not so sure about a lot of stuff right at this moment. I mean A LOT of stuff. And i'm beginning to think I have major delusional tendencies about certain things.. in terms of what I believe to be true... and what is in fact true.. and I'm beginning to think that nothing has ever been true that I perceived to be true... and I'm sure that's probably not making much sense. And I'm not so sure it makes any sense to me.. because i'm so friggen confused right now about everything.... : /// but as i said.. it's best I keep it to myself.. Because I'm sure I come across as this erratic over emotional crack head over here.. HAaa.... so, I'll leave my emotions for my friends.. and for my poetry.

p.s. Keep in mind that you can check out my tumblr page for more frequent posts of pretty pictures, stuffs and musica. http://giusi.tumblr.com/

Anyhoo.. let's get on with the fotos..shall we? :))))

my little sister is finally onto her dirty thirties.. that makes me officially an OLD FART!

i just about fainted when i saw this. PINK? and a PIRATE? ... i'm so SOLD. :))))

i got all fancy with my nails the other day... yup. them be cherry blossoms on my nails. fucking fancy huh?? ;D

Held by knifepoint.. little Bobby didn't stand a chance.

me and my sister are sportin' matchin braces... hahaha soccer injuries are quite becoming in our family. woot woot ;D

well the same white line that was drawn on you.. was drawn on me.. and now it's drawn me in.... 6th avenue heartache...........

and that's pretty much it... and i'm gunna end it with this picture.. because i fucking love it and it makes me laugh. BEcause it's absolutely fucking amazing. and Natalie Dee is the shit. I'm sure everyone already knows that.. but in case you don't.. she totally is. SO.. hope you all had a very Happy EASTER and mucho hugs and kisses to everyone! Especially you. :)))) .xoxo.
~G.

an entry because i was scolded.

2011-03-16T19:05:00.001-04:00

The other day, somebody essentially gave me crap for no longer posting entries on my blogspot. Well, I apologize for that. I've honestly been so insanely busy.. plus I've been sick SO much this past winter. I couldn't figure it out for the life of me until someone explained it's cuz the girls are in daycare this year. The germ infested waters of such a place is sure to bring the strongest of us crashin to our knees.. well, at least I know it's not because my immune system has suddenly been compromised.

The truth is, there is SO much going on in my life right now... yet NOTHING is going on. You know.. I dread that question that my friends ask me everytime we catch up over coffee, dinner or drinks every few months. "What's new?"

Nothing.

Nothing is new. Absolutely nothing. well, yes.. some things are new to me... some things are big for me.. some things are rocking my mental and emotional state for me.. but in the grande scheme of things... i have nothing to report to the outside world that would be substantial material to classify under this "NEW" category. So, I often dread those meet-ups and reunions. So, I don't have to repeat the same, tired, worn out phrase... "nothing's new".

Oh, well, I guess I have something sort of new.. I currently have a brace on my ankle that I was fitted for at the hospital this past Friday. The doctor informed me that my injury was a little worse than a simple sprain.. and that I am not to play soccer anymore. Oh.. JOY.. oh BLISS. this is fantastic... considering i'm the captain of the team, you can imagine how IMPRESSED I am with this outcome. *insert extreme annoyed eyeroll here*. The injury is from last season. It was the end of the season when I got it.. (we played some team who were really rough & aggressive. they took out 3 of our players.. including me and my ankle. fun times). I was out for the playoffs. Figured the 7 weeks we had off in between seasons was sufficient for healing. The doctor informed me, it was not. And.. I'm the most stubborn person that I know. But.. I am no good to anyone with a fukked up ankle.. so, alas.. I had to give in and take the good doctors advice. But, I had to put my foot down at the air cast.. which she wanted me to wear instead. I disagreed and said I don't want it... mostly because they wouldn't allow me to work if I was wearing it. So, I settled for the brace.. which makes me look like I have a robo-ankle/leg. Good times. No.. not really. I have an appointment with the fracture clinic in 2 weeks to see the sports injury doctor. He tells me how bad the injury is, how long I have to wear this annoying brace and exactly when I can play soccer again. I hope it's soon. I really love playing.. :((((

So, I guess that's about as new as you're going to get in terms of information and news from my part. Fun times.

Apart from that............................. I am tremendously exhausted these days. I'm so terribly confused at the moment. I have no idea what's going on...no, really... I am in this really intense state of confusion.. and it's draining. It seems to have overtaken me ever so effortlessly..... I don't know what to make of it. Just this feeling left in the pit of my stomach.. leaving me wondering... "I don't think this is a good idea........". But yet it is in some ways. And I'm sure I'm rambling in ways that make no sense to anyone else right now. But that's ok. And maybe it'll make sense one day. And maybe this is supposed to be happening right now. Who knows. Leave it to me to find such beauty in so much destruction and chaos.... ah....... how we love the ones that burn so bright and fierce. *sigh*

So... I guess since I really have nothing new to report.. I'll end off here. And say Hey.. I'm alive..and ok I guess. Though nothing at all is making sense to me at the moment.. but I'm hoping in time the fog will clear and I'll figure it out. I always do.

I'll end this post with a picture of my mom. She just turned 65 two weeks ago. And she's the most amazing & stunning person ever. I love my mommy the mostest and she is the best mamma anyone could ever ask for.

much love:
~G .xoxo.

p.s. here's to some mornings that are perfect. and my famous banana chocolate chip pancakes.
:)))) cheers!

a little something refreshing.

2011-01-22T19:25:00.003-05:00

once there was this boy.. who was really really sweet. and he played the drums. and he was kinda crazy about me. and it was really adorable. he was way beyond cute and had the most perfect smile and teeth. but he was way too young and we eventually drifted apart. but every now and again, he crosses my mind and his incredible untarnished sweetness makes me smile. thanks for being a part of my painting.
: )))

this was his song for me. i haven't heard it in years and i forgot i had the mp3. this will always be the nicest song .. just for me.
from the boy who played drums.. and drew my name in the snow. ♥

the end of an anchor

2011-01-21T16:46:00.005-05:00

I'm here sipping on my timmy's catching up with an old friend of mine. We haven't had a proper conversation in ages! Asking me about stuff from way back when.. so, I updated him. It got me thinking about a lot of stuff.

I stopped wondering about how things happened, why things happened and if things really did happen and a bunch of other stuff. There's no point in rehashing stuff that makes no sense but plainly put, just doesn't matter anymore.

This year is a very different one for me. I feel a sense of maturity and clarity that was never there before. It's a good thing. It's a comforting thing in a way. But most importantly, I feel positive, relaxed and quite satisfied with what is going on and what is to come.

You know, looking back.. at all those times my past partner accused me of unfaithfulness, it makes all the sense in the world now. I never once did actually venture off or stray at any point.. even though I surely had enough motivation to do so and probably just as much right. But I didn't. Not even once. I'm sure he thought otherwise. He could think otherwise for the rest of his days for all I care. What he believes doesn't affect me or matter in the grand scheme of things. Because, it's evident that his accusations were merely projections of what he, in fact, was very guilty of. But he got a lot more than he bargained for. So, that isn't my concern anymore. But I know now that a million other previous experiences were all the same. Now, it all means nothing to me.

It's funny how someone can go from being the number one spot in your heart to be completely nothing at all. It's a little sad in a way. I wish I could've kept some of the good memories and thoughts and feelings. But they've all completely vanished. Gone. They are all gone. The devestation from the betrayal completely wiped out that section of my hard drive.. if that makes any sense. It doesn't to me. But it's what happened. Such is how things go I guess.

It seems as if I keep spitting out a repeat of things. But I'm not really. I feel as if the only way to wipe any slate clean is to attack those last lingering thoughts that float through the air so that they can eventually vanish forever. It's all a part of the ongoing process of moving so far away from having been in an awful and dark place for far too long.

I think back on the years of my life.. and half the time I barely remember events. I say things like "that happened?" or "when was that?" or a series of other things. Just a blank and sterile palate that I was dragging through for such a long long time.

I feel as if my plate of food finally has some seasoning in it. If that makes any sense at all. I can taste life again. I can taste it.. and boy, does it taste wonderful. It tastes so delicious. I'm in love with life all over again. I've shed this cape of wretched darkness that's been over my shoulders for such a long time.. and I'm not even sure how or when it happened. I just know that it has happened and it's pretty amazing. I sound like such a freak going on about my positivity.. so, I'll shut up now.

Sunday will be 2 years that my cousin Giacomo has been gone. I cannot believe that it's been 2 years already. I miss him all the time. I wish my family were closer together. I wish he didn't die in vain and that everyone would lose their malicious ways. But that never happened. And I'm sorry Giacomo. I'm sorry that no one can be humble and kind and look past their selfish and hideous ways and hold an open hand out to their brothers and sisters. I'm sorry for such ugliness. I hope it will change one day... I still miss you and think of you often. You're a bright star in my sky for always.

I think I want to leave here. I'm pretty sure I do. I'm not sure where yet. I'm looking into it. Most likely out of the province or out of the country.. or even continent. I am hoping that by 2012, I will have a clearer idea of where I will start things new. I think I've done all that I can do where I am here and I need to leave here and experience something entirely new and different. This place just doesn't cut it for me anymore. I find it to be dull and lifeless and I find no joy in Toronto city life. My time here has definitely drawn to an end. Once I get the rest of my stuff sorted out, I can finally move forward.. and with my workplace changing over and me taking the buy out and finally leaving the company (HALLELUJAH!).. I can start fresh somewhere else. I'm quite excited. Hooray for new beginnings.

Yann Tiersen is performing at the Mod Club. You have no idea how amazing and fabulous that is to know. If you don't know who that is.. then you need to find out. Because you're seriously lacking in your life if you do not know the likes of him.

I guess I've said all I've needed to say. I've dealt with any last lingering floaties that hovered around my head and such. Wanted to start the year right and banish any remnants of undesirable feelings and thoughts that stuck on the bottom of my shoe. You know how it is.

I do want to add... that I am still so madly in love. I do use the term madly.. because I am completely MAD and insane for feeling this way.. because I do not even understand it myself... nor do I wish to keep it around. It makes no sense to me at all. It should go away. Just leave.. I feel like a crazy person most days for having such enormous feelings for something I cannot even begin to explain or even justify. Seriously. It's insanity in its finest form. Lord help me... haha No, really though. If ever there was one perfect person on this planet that is the most perfectly matched and in tune with me.. then it would undoubtedly be him. But.. I guess not. For it is not in the cards to be that way. Because how can such feelings be so one sided? Or maybe this is just my one taste of unrequited love for all the times those people were in love with me when I never loved them back. But surely they were not really in love with me. I hardly knew them and we shared nothing intimately. But, whatever the reason... there isn't anything I can do about it. So, I do what I do best. I run. I run away from things.. I cannot handle or control or cannot comprehend... I run away as fast and as far as I can. I run away.

So.. I'll go finish doing the many little things that need to be done. Listen to some amazing music (btw have you heard of Kate Nash, Missy Higgins & Ingrid Michaelson? No? well, you should.. they are all very fine artists. Brilliant arists. please check them out.) And I will leave you with this most amazing picture of my cat Lilly... who is always up to no good. And this picture makes me laugh so much every time I look at it. So, I have to share with everyone. If you haven't already seen it posted on my twitter or facebook. Have an awesome weekend. And Happy new year to all of you. the BEST of wishes. :))))) .xoxo.

{ she is a goddamned spy }

a little add-on:
after i posted this i realized that perhaps i was a bit hasty.. and some of the things i wrote weren't necessarily what i was feeling.. but more of a what i had been feeling or what i thought i was feeling. but not so much what i was really feeling. what i'm really feeling would require an entire post on its own. but nevertheless.. there were definitely some truths to it.. or seemingly truths.. because it's hard to tell the difference sometimes. because other times it makes me sick to my stomach and i get so angry at myself at how i would waste such sentiment on someone who clearly does not deserve any of it. there are far more remarkable people out there. and heaven only knows why i seem to be stuck on this one wasted case. there no longer is a reason to pull back to the scene.. and i've come to the conclusion that it's not a scene i want to be in anymore. of painted scenarios in my head... but don't kid yourself into thinking that nothing was never there. because there was. and only a complete fool would deny that. but that's all in the past now. and hand holding in the car and all those other little elements will be chalked up to my own imagination running rampant again. because i guess.... that's what you want me to believe. so, then.. i will. and that.. is the end of that. fare thee well.

all i know is that i should...

2010-11-28T14:01:00.002-05:00

i feel as if life is just one trial after another. i fight so hard everyday to carry on and be a hopeful person.. and i am. i really am. then tragedy besets us over and over again. and you're left wondering.. what the heck is the bloody point? why raise yourself up to these highs only to come crashing down to these incredibly low lows..?

well, you see.. those highs are worth their weight in gold and more. i won't let that drag me down. i know i'm feeling low at this very moment.. but this too shall pass. i can do anything. and i'm so thankful for the ones around me whom i love. they're my foundations and without them, i know it would not be easy to carry on through all these difficult times that have come and gone.. some worse than others. we need to cherish the amazing things that grace our lives every single day. there's no telling when it will be gone.

be kind. be genuine. be honest and be true. be sweet and nice. be a good soul. be romantic. be loving. be caring. be courageous and strong. be you and be no one else but you. stand up for what you believe in. and stand up for those whom you believe in too. be hopeful. be spectacular. be helpful and generous. be right instead of wrong. be there for others. be open. be accepting.
just make sure to be something that you will never look back on and say.. i wish i have never been that way. be better. be much much better.

look to the good things in life.. and let them and your loved ones carry you through into calmer waters. because i know these waves can be so dark, cold and turbulent at times.. and no matter how far down you get thrown sometimes.. remember that it can't rain all the time.

here's to that which makes us stronger.. and sharing our strengths and happiness with the ones that we love. here's to bright memories that remain and shedding the dark ones. here's to sunshine that always breaks through the clouds in the end.

i'm so very thankful for all the sunshine in my life. i'm so very thankful for all the love.

~ Riposa in pace Bernardetta ♥ ♥ ♥ . you were a bright bright flame in this life and you left an amazing legacy behind.. one that has impacted my life so so much. and so many other people's lives as well. you will never be forgotten. ~

Can't take back those hours but I won't regret cuz you can grow flowers from where dirt used to be.

2010-10-07T11:29:00.003-04:00

I just came by my blog the other day and it seemed so angry. *frown*

I didn't like that. And it's not that I have anything to say. So, I don't really have a post to write about. But I didn't want to end my posting on such a low note. Because the truth is.. I'm ok now. I'm actually kinda better than ok. Surprisingly. And, I just don't wanna dwell on ugly things anymore and concentrate on the positive and awesome changes in my life. So many great things to come. I'm truly blessed and I love so grandly. Everyday. :)))

I have a tumblr which I post on more frequently... but it's not blog posts. Just random spurts of me. Suits my needs a bit more. I like to think of it as my personal bulletin board full of cute fotos, ideas, feelings and such. It's alright.

Have an awesome day.
much love:
~G .xoxo.

Yes. Yes you are Pathetic & Ruined.

2010-08-20T20:49:00.004-04:00

I didn't want to keep any old things anymore from a complete farce. I've gotten rid of mostly everything. But I never email anymore. Who the hell really does with facebook around now?? Plus, I use my uni account for important things. So, I had emails that I never deleted from years ago. Yah.. i know.. i'm SO terrible at housekeeping. So sue me. :P

Well, I'm doing a major overhaul on my life right now.. the rest is all mostly done or on its way. I figured I'd might as well deal with the smaller minor details as well. Clear out any last remaining remnants of old garbage.. right? So, I came across this little ditty at the end of my mailbox. Almost completely forgot about it! So, I reread it... and had a little chuckle. Ya.. i totally just said chuckle lol I'm hardcore nerd styles like that. ;D Frig.. read it yourself. Hysterical, isn't it??! :D

Anyways, thought I'd throw up this piece of crap on here to muse over. Since this IS my site of thoughts, ponderings, musings, experiences.. etc. etc. And at the time.. I was really moved by this little bit. It's funny how believable it may have seemed back then... many many moons ago. And how words can blur your thoughts and decisions and opinions so much.. until you finally learn the real ugly truth.

You were right about one thing though. Any other love would have been far far better love than yours could have ever been . Believe you me when I say that. With the most honesty & sincerity I could ever possibly muster up.

And maybe I seem like a real bitter bitch for posting this. But I'm not. Honest. I'm only actually thinking about it cuz I just came across this as I was deleting all these old files & emails I've had from way too long ago. Do I owe you some decency? Nawwwww.. not at all. In fact... I probably deserve to hang you for your despicable deeds. I'll just post your gay poem instead. Do I still harbour feelings of anger? naww.. the anger's pretty much subsided. The disgust, however.. is still lingering on. Disbelief? Naw.. that's gone too. It's still pretty much just only pure raw disgust over here. Not sure what that even means.. you figure it out. The only thing that bugs me is that I have to see your mug all the time walkin' & drivin' by in my hood. Can you move already? C'mon meow. You have two babies to take care of now.... get a nice lil' house in a nice little area. FAR away from me. Could you do me that one last favour? If I could have nothing to do with you, your face, your name or anything about you for the rest of my entire life.. I would be so completely happy and tranquil. For real FOR REAL! :)

Ok.. Now that I got that off my chest.. I can continue on my little deleting spree.

Enjoy this wonderful little bit people.
Cheers! :))) .xoxo.
~G.

___________________________________

[ -- removed by moi. -- ]

____________

[Sept. 24. 2011]
i removed the poem and crossed out what I wrote because I was in a very angry and hurt place back then. not to say that I'm taking back what i said and felt.. because I don't. at all. all those feelings were very real and most importantly, 100% justified. But I choose not to have such harsh hatred and bitterness in my life any more because it isn't worth it. and my heart doesn't need to be in such a dark place anymore. it doesn't deserve to be in those ugly shadows. so, i think it's time i lifted it out of there. :)

Starting now...

2010-07-25T17:10:00.002-04:00

It's my world.

But before you finally go there's one thing you should know: That I promise -

Starting now I'll never know your name.
Starting now I'll never feel the same.
Starting now I wish you never came into my world.

Weakling.

2010-07-08T21:30:00.002-04:00

The past few nights I have been tormented with these dreams and I have no idea where they came out of. I woke up in the middle of the night last night and couldn't even go back to sleep because of these wretched dreams. I've been so fine for so long now and totally in the clear. I don't understand it and it's put me into a head spin that I feel like the ground beneath my feet has given out. I don't know where it's coming from and the reason for it. All I know is that I don't want them to be there at all.
:(

I've spent my entire life bottling everything up. It may seem like I write a lot out and tell everyone everything because I'm always posting things on everything. But I'm only posting small bits of the story but maybe not entire truths always.

I went through my very old journal from 2003 and further back.. and reading those old entries made me think of how out of whack things were then. But then when I skipped onward to my 2nd blog.. i have only private entries on the recent posts.. dating back from mid 2007 until August 2008. I came across the most sincere letter I wrote to somebody... I don't know why I never sent it. Maybe it was wise.. it looks like i was grovelling in it.. but in reality, it was the most sincere I have ever been. When I've probably never been. Not with my thoughts and feelings. When you put yourself entirely out there you leave yourself completely vulnerable. I don't like to feel vulnerable. I hate it. So, I never put myself in that position. This is why I flee. This is why I hide, I turn away, I run, I move on.. call it whatever you want to. But when I cannot move forward in a way that will not leave me vulnerable.. the only thing I know how to do .. is retreat.

I don't know how I come across to the rest of the world. To my peers.. and everyone around me. But I know how I feel inside. I feel like the most vulnerable and soft person I have ever known in my entire life. My insides are soft marshmallow puff. Worse. Trust me. If you only knew what was really going on inside of my head right now.. you'd look at me in disbelief. "No way.. you seem so tough and happy go lucky & cheery all the time!" Ya.. maybe sometimes that's sincere.. but I can almost guarantee you that most times.. it's not.
:(

I have no idea why things have happened the way that they did in my life. I don't expect sympathy or pity hugs. I don't expect anything. I just want to be able to let go of so many things... I just want to open up. I'd love to know why..? But I won't hold my breath. So what if I seem so strong and I'll always pull through... but to me.. I am the biggest weakling I've ever known.. and I'm quivering on the ground every single day with how hopeless and defeated I feel and how scared .. terrified I am of loss and so many other things... when all I wish is to quiet that noise. And as cliché as it may sound.. just to be free.

Love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

2010-07-01T14:21:00.003-04:00

With so much to take in that's been happening.. all that I've lived to witness so far.. it's SO so hard to maintain high hopes and positivity. I question the very reasoning for me being here.. every single day! when I don't fit in. I don't belong. My thoughts, my feelings and everything.. almost as if I'm on a different realm. The dis attachment of people. the lies. the deceit. the not caring. stabs and pushes. cuts and wounding. disinterest and shallow gazes. sell to the highest bidder. settle for the lowest bidder with charm & glitz. the list goes on. the pain goes on. and all this dishonesty and hurtfulness around me constantly tears my heart out of my chest on a daily basis. it's become so hard for me to breathe at times.

But occasionally.. just when I feel as if I've lost all hope in humanity and how it rears it's ugly head.. a little something special happens that reignites that little flame inside of my heart and it sets it aglow brighter than any star that I've ever seen in the sky. Thank goodness for tiny miracles, smiles and little lovely happenings. Thank goodness for all of those and more.

and oh, oh how could you do it?

2010-06-01T21:35:00.006-04:00

no i, i never saw it coming......

I feel as if I've lost my desire to blog. Nothing I have to say is of much importance anymore. Not after everything that has occurred in the past few years. Not in the way that it is important that I feel the rest of the world needs to know. Well, the rest of the world doesn't need to know. And for that, I've resorted to taking up writing in my book by my bedside. I feel as if my stories are best told by my own hand for my own eyes to read. Anything else, the ones who need to know it, will know it. Does that mean I'm retiring my blog? Are my blogging days over? I'm not really sure what that means. I've always been one for impulsive outbursts of emotions spewed all over these internet pages... since the very first days of my xanga account. I've just had a lot of time to reconsider a lot of things. When certain things happen.. well, let's just say they're real big eye openers. In ways you never thought were possible. Am I angry? Well, no.. not really. I'm tired of being angry and upset. I've never felt as many changes come by me as I have in the past years of my life. In a way, I've been forced into these changes, time to rethink, redesign, reevaluate, etc.. you get the idea. I more into "let's do it" instead of "let's talk about doing it and write it down here". And right now, there isn't a whole lot I want to write down on here. I don't have the time, effort, motivation, desire, energy, etc.. to keep up a blog.. about.. well, about what? Nothing really. I have so much worth sharing.. yet it all passes so quickly that I haven't the time to document and jot it down. And I kinda don't wanna share it. Not with the world. Not right now.

So, I'll leave you with a little slide show video I made. As some of you may have already known, I took on the 365 Days project on Flickr last year and it came to an end this past March. It was a really awesome project but it was a huge commitment. Basically, you had to take one self portrait every single day for an entire year. A self portrait meant anything at all... so long as you were in the photo somehow and you were the one snapping the photo. I learned loads of stuff doing it and I would love to do it again in the future.. just not right now as I haven't the time to dedicate to such a time consuming project. But I'm so happy with the end result and the ways it allowed me to grow in my photography & photo editing skills.

Enjoy the video and enjoy this amazing weather we've been having! :)))

much love:
~G .xoxo.

Go fuck yourself.

2010-04-07T00:28:00.006-04:00

I want to blog a nasty open letter.... but I'll refrain from letting off steam and writing out the most colourful and descriptive vulgarities that would make all the flowers in the area wilt. And although I'm upset right now.. and probably shouldn't be blogging.. I feel the need to have to let this out.

Because during this whole time of self discovery... I even thought that I was the reason behind things.. and looking for ways to cut you some slack. Even.. dare I say.. pardon the ways you were being.

How delusional I have been! How wrong and how NAIVE of me!

But.. there is no pardon. There is no excuse. There were only lies and deceit. and SO much of it. And I cannot even believe what I am seeing anymore. What is real. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. And I cannot believe how much of a coward and disgusting dishonourable person you are. I feel nothing but shame and horror and pity for those lives that you now hold in your hands.

I'm in shock. I'm horrified. I'm stunned.. I don't even know what to say.....

Was any of it ever sincere? When you were with me and with her too? Does that make you happy? Does it make you feel good? Is this what you were always looking for?

I hope it was. That and more.

Every single fond memory, thought or feeling I had left of you in my heart... has completely vanished without a trace. You are the most despicable person I've had the misfortune of ever meeting in my lifetime. And I hate that you were that only person in my lifetime. If I could do any one thing over... I would've never met you. I would've never loved you. I would've never known who you are. I would've never let you taken away from me the amount of things you have taken away from me all these years.

I would've chose differently.

I would not have chosen you.

:(

i gave you my purity.. and my purity you stole

did you think i wouldn't recognize

this compromise

am i just too stupid to realize

stale incense, old sweat, and lies, lies, LIES!!

Lists of Life.

2010-03-29T17:23:00.003-04:00

The up and down weather has been putting my mood in a spin. Therefore, I have nothing to say or add that will inspire or anger anyone. Not today anyway.

I don't forward emails. Ever. (That was something I once did when I had a boring office job and I wasted my time away online.. which I'm sure many others are guilty of.) But I liked this little list. Thought I'd share it.

Happy Monday.
much love:
~G .xoxo.

The Do's & Don'ts of Your Lifetime

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR . When you say, 'I love you ,' mean it.
FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson!
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

________________________

Music Monday: Al Bowlly ~ Guilty

If I was a Rich Girl...

2010-03-22T13:34:00.006-04:00

If I was a wealthy girl...

.... I'd buy all these things and more. ^__^

{ all above items from my favourite site ever: Shana Logic }

i think these would look so friggen cute with my already there butterfly tattoo on my leg! ^__^

{ above item from Etsy shop }

{ above item from Tarina Tarantino }

{ above items from Sephora }

Happy Monday. ♥

much love:
~G .xoxo.

______________________________________

Music Monday: Maybe I'll Catch Fire - Alkaline Trio

You've waited a long time for this life... just to ruin it.

2010-03-20T20:13:00.005-04:00

A countdown to two things you ~~cannot~~ should not live life without...

{ music }

12 more days 'til brmc. ♥

{ chocolate }

15 more days 'til cadbury creme eggs, cadbury mini eggs, chocolate milk & nutella. ♥

Many good things to come. Indeed. :)))
Happy weekend.

much love:
~G .xoxo.

____________________________

Cause I might break and I might bend
your heart strings out of tune again
And I might try to apologize..
on a good day... on my best day
If you stick around.

I've got a big fat fucking bone to pick with you my darling.

2010-03-10T17:46:00.005-05:00

I really don't feel like blogging.. but only because I'm being lazy. Because I really do want to share my music news with you. Who am I talking about?

Alkaline Trio. That's who.
{haha suddenly the phrase "I'm Naboo, that's who!" popped into my head.}

{and although I'd love to go an on about BRMC's new album that just came out yesterday... I'm going to leave this post for alk trio updates. I have a BRMC concert coming up too.. I'm sure I will have more to post on it. and they each deserve their own post}

So, Alkaline Trio's new album "This Addiction" was just released. I love it. With their usual sound and extra added oomph to it. Tracks like Dine, Dine, Dine My Darling ... Fine... & Off The Map become instant faves. The title track is also pretty amazing.. which was their first single and they have a video released for it as well. But you can go look that up yourself.

I went to their show last weekend at the Phoenix Concert Theatre and it was amazing. I've seen them several other times (at the Opera House, the Warehouse, Sound Academy) but the sound was, by far, the best at the Phoenix. But I've always enjoyed that venue for shows in the past. {Which is partly why I'm so excited to see BRMC there in a few weeks}

I took a few fotos at the show.. but I brought my little camera with me so, the fotos leave a lot to be desired.. but I can't complain. :)

But... the best part was their last song they performed.. which is one of my favourites. I got it on film. The sound quality isn't the best. If it were at any other venue, I'm positive the sound would have been inaudible and completely crap.

So, here's the video I caught of Alkaline Trio performing Radio. :))))

So much amazingness!! :)))

Anyways, go out and get their album. They're so amazing. As ever.
And I would just like to say.. a huge thank you to Shane .. from the bottom of my heart for introducing me to Alkaline Trio so many years ago. (and straylight run & TBS.) --
{on a side note, TBS always trumps Brand New. Sorry love.}

So........ as I continue on my exam studying streak and working on awesome assignments for my Nutrition class (which I adore).. all the while brimming with excitement over the upcoming BRMC concert on April Fool's day.. I'm going to leave you with my favourite track off the new Alkaline Trio album.

AND... I will add that they will be on Letterman tonight! So.. WATCH IT!

AND... I will also add.. that I've been chocolate free for 3 weeks now.. and it's not looking pretty. But.. Easter is approaching soon. And then I will reach for those mini eggs and drown in their chocolaty goodness... Mmmm...

much love:
~G .xoxo.

And i can row row row my boat back to shore some day
so, are you coming with me? Anchors away!! :)

'Cause it was what I wouldn't do...

2010-03-05T13:03:00.003-05:00

It's funny how things seem to be recycling themselves over and over again all around you. And by one way or another... you get dragged into that spin cycle again. Not by choice. Never by choice.

Because it was never about making the choices that you wanted to make.
No. Because we all know what we all would choose instead.
We would want to choose to succumb... to give in... to drown in it.

But instead, it was only about the choices you make..... that you had to make.
Lest you drown forever..... with such sweet suffocation.. and sorrow.
Worst than any addiction one can have. One can kick.

Here's to all the strangled souls who have made these decisions.
Here's to coping and trying to pacify the fire within.
Here's to one more day that you've done it.
Here's to me and you. and you. and also you.

Happy Friday.

much love:
~G .xoxo.

Finito.

2010-03-02T23:05:00.002-05:00

Today was the last day of my 365 project. I cannot believe that I've already reached the end of it. I didn't even think that I would see this project through to the end.. but here I am now. I'm a little glad that I don't have to be taking fotos of myself anymore (for once.. haha).. and will be able to focus more on other things now. Hooray.

Below you can see a little collage of sorts that I put together of my all time favourite shots throughout the year. Or view the entire 365 foto set here.

much love:
~G .xoxo.

P.S. Happy Birthday Mammina. *baci*

{ click on the thumbnail for the larger size }

Mexican and Rock & Roll

2010-02-24T12:02:00.002-05:00

Happy hump day.

It's been so grey and dingy lately that it's kinda put me in a bit of a downer.
No one likes a dreary day.

The Olympics are coming to a close this Friday. Go Team Canada!

What better way to celebrate than to go out for Mexican and a little Rock & Roll this weekend. Hopefully, that will lift my spirits up a bit. Either that.. or the nachos and beers. ;)

On that note, I'll finish off and head out to face this ugly outside. Holla!

To add:

~ Weekend was amazingness. 55 Special all the way.. The first rule of 55 Special, don't talk about 55 Special. The second rule of 55 Special, don't make eye contact.

~ Been feeling quite nostalgic with music as of late. I highly recommend pulling out your old Garbage Version 2.0 CD. God.. I forgot how fabulous it is. They are so amazing.

~ Imogen Heap is brilliant.

~ My 365 project is one week away from being completed. Hooray?

~ BRMC's new album soon! March 9th. Excitement overload! That and Alkaline Trio. I'm in heaven.

~ my new boots. i want to hump them. what a great find.. and great price! and exactly how i wanted them to look.

Garbage on my mp3 player.. i'm so ready to face the day.
Ciao ciao.
~G .xoxo.

We're closed to the Earth 'til further notice.

2010-02-17T21:59:00.002-05:00

Where do we go from here?
How do we carry on?
I can't get beyond the questions.
Clambering for the scraps
In the shatter of us collapsed.
That cuts me with every could-have-been.

Pain on pain on play, repeating
With the backup makeshift life in waiting.

Everybody says: "Time heals everything."
But what of the wretched hollow?
The endless in-between?
Are we just going to wait it out?

And sit here cold?
We'll be long gone by then.
And lackluster in dust we lay
'round old magazines.
Fluorescent lighting sets the scene
For all we could and should be being
In the one life that we've got.

_________________________________

Forty days until Easter. Sans chocolate. No Mini Eggs...?
Be Warned: This will get ugly fast kids...

On a more serious note, this time for me is important as a time for personal reflection.
A time for renewal.. and rebirth. Not just for fasting, prayer and charity. Time for new changes.. from within as well as from on the outside.

13 more days until my 365 project ends.
And then what?
But I'm happy because I'm finally getting to the foto ideas I've wanted to try out from the start and have always put off. For instance.. I've finally submitted a Bench Monday shot this week. (Only Flickr peeps will know what that means.. so, I'm not even going to explain because it won't make any sense to anyone else.) It's not as good as I wanted it to be.. but I'm still happy with it.

This is the original foto idea I *was* going to go with... but I didn't think it was whimsical enough for me.. and what I was trying to get at. So, I ditched the harsh boots.. and went with white ballet slippers and tulle skirts instead.

But... I would like to add that I was contacted through Flickr by someone at the Northampton Museum in the UK where they will be having an exhibit about Dr Martens boots and they requested to use that foto! With full credit to me of course.. That's exciting! In addition to using that foto, they will also be using this foto in their exhibit:

I'm kinda excited that my fotos are being asked to be used in various different things. I didn't think for once that my fotos were really that artsy... or good enough. So.. in a way, as sad as I will be about my 365 project coming to a close.. I'm a little happy that I will be able to focus my foto taking skills on other projects in the future. Stay tuned!

I'm off for the night.
Buona notte.
much love,
~G .xoxo.

But I want more...

2010-02-10T11:39:00.004-05:00

P!NK was on Oprah. She's so completely amazing. And she sang my favourite song off her newest album. Hearing her talk about the song was kinda funny.... i think that's just a general virgoan trait to be so critisizing and hold such high expectations from the other person.. that you're scrutizing them SO so much... that you completely disregard your own self and the weaknesses and faults we hold by ourselves. All I can say is.. in the past year.. my eyes have been opened a great deal and like she states in her interview about the song.. it was, indeed.. a very humbling experience. I'm glad at least it turned out well in her story.

I love P!NK. I think she's an extraordinary artist and individual and definitely someone I would say is a great and powerful role model for young girls today. I look forward to all the new music she has to bring to the table.

main interview

P!NK talks about the song "I Don't Believe You"

Live acoustic of "I Don't Believe You"

It's a snow day today. So, drive safe people.. and bundle up!!
much love:
~G .xoxo.

Things are looking up... Oh, finally.

2010-02-07T23:14:00.004-05:00

I made this big dinner for my family on Friday cuz it was my parent's 38th anniversary... It was yumm.. but I wasn't impressed by it to be honest.. haha Yah, I know.. but it wasn't planned out and I decided on a whim what I was making. My initial plan was to just cook dinner for my parents... and I had to change the meal last minute because others were coming who wouldn't eat it and neither would me and my sister since we do not eat meat.. so, it made no sense to make this dish for 2-3 people out of 7 people. So, with the menu changing last minute.. I didn't have much time to think it through.. and I didn't put much effort into it. But I can't complain. I loved my garlic grilled zucchini and salad the most. My sister's rice is amazing too. There was lots left over. .. and it's all mine!

BUT............... to be honest.. the highlight of my dinner arrangements was the cake the I baked.. which I stayed up until 1:00am the previous night to bake. AND.... the worst part is.. that I made SO much food (penne arrabiata for firsts, balsamic & rosemary chicken for seconds, grilled zucchini, roasted potatoes, steamed beans, mixed green salad as well as the rice dish that my sister brought).. that my parents were TOO stuffed to eat my cake! I was SOOO sad. Really. I was. haha. I know.. lame. BUt I was so proud of my cake and couldn't wait to unveil it to the world... err.. family.

Anyways, here are some fotos of my yummy cake. It was a red velvet cake, in case you're wondering what kind it was. But, I'm sure you can tell that when you see the inside of it.. ;D

I actually shaved all that white chocolate on top by hand. It was SUCH a pain in the ass... but so worth it. The cake was so delicious and I made it all from scratch. I've never made a red velvet cake before... but I've always wanted to because they look so amazing!! But I've never eaten one either... so, I have no idea what it's supposed to taste like. So, I hope it was good to others as well.

Yes, this blog was purely to brag about my mad baking skillz, y0. haha Kidding.

Recently, I've been catching up with old friends that I have not seen in a long time and I'm so happy about that. I'm so glad to have gotten a chance to see them and chat. It's been such a long while since I've spoken to them... and I realized how much I missed them and the times I had before.

I have very good feelings right now about life and things in general. I seem to be in a positive mood and place lately... and in high spirits. I'm not sure why... what's causing it.. or how long it will last... but I definitely welcome it with open arms. I've been on a rocky road for far too long and this little bit of calmness with a bit of sunshine is most appreciated. :)

Have a great night people... and HUG frequently!!! ^__^
much love,
~G .xoxo.

Pink-a-licious

2010-02-04T11:05:00.004-05:00

I'm sure you all know by now that I'm not a fan of Valentine's day. Well, the concept behind it.. we don't need to go on about how it's this huge commercial holiday where they rake in the money making lovers feel guilty if they don't do something stupendous for each other... (although, i tend to find the pressure is more on the guys than the girls). You all know my take on romance.. and how it should be celebrated always, at random times throughout the year. Although, I must admit i loved this one gift my ex gave me. He once gave me this cd (and a canister of mini eggs!! eee!).. well, the cd was the Retro Romance cd... and i LOOOOOVED that cd so much.. and to my disappointment... i have NO clue whatsoever where the hell that cd is. Which makes me think he either ~~stole~~ borrowed it.. or someone else lifted it.. cuz it's no where to be found in my home. So, i'm kinda peed off about that.

BUT.. moving along here.. i WILL however admit that, for purely selfish reasons.. there is one thing i enjoy about the V-day holiday. I absolutely adore walking down the aisles that are completely adorned in pink and red and white and all sorts of pretty and cute lovely things you don't normally see. Personally.. i think it would be pretty damn awesome.. if they sold Valentine's day awesomeness ALL year long. Just one little corner in the store.. we'll call it the LOve angle. err.. that doesn't sound quite romantic.. hehe well, you get my point.

So, here's what I say to you all. Boycott V-day! If you're with your loved one.. then celebrate on another day.. don't buy eachother flowers! Let me tell you (and there's a flower shop at my work).. they DOUBLE the prices of flowers (or more) around the V-day holiday because they KNOW that suckers are gunna dish out the cash cuz they don't wanna look like a douchebag. If you truly wanna spend some quality time and feel the need to celebrate.. then do something sincere....sans the cash flow. Example: make a home-made card.. cuz it's way cuter and sentimental. Make dinner.. if you can't cook.. order in. Get a cheeze movie.. watch it.. and then have a total make-out session on the couch like highschool stylies. haha seriously. Those are the best times. Not 4 dozen roses that cost you $$$$$$$$$ and some hoity toity restaurant where you can't even pronounce the name...

If you're not with someone.. even BETTER! haha Makes no difference.. cuz it's a day just like any other day. Bake stuff! cuz baking cute stuff is ALWAYS fun. trust me. :)

Either way, celebrate love all year round. Eff the commericalness of V day... and EFF this cold WEATHER!!! yah.. i just added that last one in there cuz I can't stand the frigidness of winter.. carry on now.. :)

So, I'll leave you with all sorts of cute images of pink and loveliness that are a plenty this time of year. Enjoy the weekend everyone!

much love:
~G .xoxo.

Honeybee, you’re killing me.

2010-02-01T15:43:00.004-05:00

It’s hard to stumble in your harmonies
But just like nicotine and it gets complicated
You keep on pouring on the gasoline
And it’s the sweetest feeling, oh it gets me, gets me down

I went into class today ~~partially~~ prepared for an exam. But i goofed on the dates and my exam is actually on Wednesday. Good job. More study time for me. Awesomeness.

Vitamin D. Take it people. Also, I've noticed a lot of people are falling ill in this gawd awful weather we've been having. You should hit a natural food store near you and pick up a vial of oil of oregano. I swear by that stuff (and so do a lot of other people). The taste is pretty intense so, I put it in juice because I can't handle it on its own.. yah... I'm a total wuss. But we already knew that. Five drops a day. You'll feel better in no time. Trust me.

I'm enjoying this facebook-less time I'm having. Now, if only I can get some warm weather in me. That would be perfect. That would be ideal.

First day of February today. I don't have a whole bunch to say but here's my little tidbit of wisdom I'll spout out for you all. Take it.. or don't. Your choice.
-- Don't wait around in the sidelines for the days to begin. If you're waiting and not finding what you want to come out of those days... then you're just wasting away your days. So, I tell you this. Go find some days that give you things that you want in return. Not just empty days of half-arsed looks, comments, maybes and perhaps. Don't entertain novel ideas in your own head of what is really happening. Trust me. There's nothing worse than a one sided story where the other side.... does not even exist.

Happy Monday.
much love:
~G .xoxo.

Honey Bee - Garbage (B-side)
lyrics

I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag.

2010-01-30T21:52:00.008-05:00

For every decision I made impulsively in the past out of sheer protection/{reaction} of myself, I now know that perhaps {at times} I acted too hastily.

For every feeling that I felt so deeply, I now know that nothing could ever shake that.

For every glance I stole so secretly, I now know were wasted eyefuls of nonsense & futility.

For every thing I thought I knew, I now know that I really know absolutely nothing at all.

So, I'll just listen to my music and take fotos. { and keep to myself }

rubber ducky.

beyond the big hill.

i cuori matti.

P.S. I just found my new bestest, most favourite site in the whole entire world. ^__^
{ duckplanet.com }

much love:
~G .xoxo.

Vorrei passare nel mondo come un soffio di vento

2010-01-23T19:02:00.002-05:00

I cannot believe it's already been one year since my cousin has left us so suddenly. I think about him all the time and my heart breaks when I think about everything that has been left behind.

What hurts me the most is that under such circumstances.. you would think that the loss of a dear loved one would bring people together and unite them. That you would learn not to take things for granted and not to hold such anger and hatred in your hearts. But I feel as if my cousin's life has been lost in vain.. without having even caused a dent in the hearts and minds of certain individuals... and that kills me so much. How dare they feud and rage over these nonexistent petty and trivial things when someone we love so much had to leave us? How dare they point fingers and whisper such hateful things and tear down bridges? I'm appalled at the behavior of so many adults but mostly I am saddened.. that there cannot be peace after all that has come to be.

My cousin is no longer here with us. He's gone Forever. And I miss him so much all the time. I'm so sorry that even after you are gone these people have refused to see the light.. but only made everything much more worse. I'm so sorry my cousin... I am so so sorry :(

Mi manchi da morire, cugino mio.
Per sempre sarai nei miei pensieri e nel mio cuore.

♥ ♥ ♥

Vorrei passare nel mondo

come un soffio di vento

che accarezza la vita:

senza farsi notare,

senza fare rumore,

solo farsi sentire.

Penetrare nel cuore

dove l'uomo non muore

e nascondersi là:

per godere l'amore,

poi un raggio di sole

là nell'intimità.

E cantare sui prati

sussurrando agli uccelli:

io t'invidio lo sai

per la tua libertà.

E sentirmi volare

proprio dove mi pare

per toccare il mio cielo

e arrivare di là.

Vorrei passare nel mondo

come un soffio di vento

che accarezza i bambini:

far sentire la brezza

di un mattino diverso

in un mondo che muore.

Camminare e parlare

della vita e di tutto

e giocare anche un po':

ed in fondo t'accorgi

che un bambino t'insegna

ciò che tu non sai più.

E cantare sui prati

sussurrando agli uccelli:

io t'invidio lo sai

per la tua libertà.

E sentirmi volare

proprio dove mi pare

per toccare il mio cielo

e arrivare di là.

Vorrei passare nel mondo

come un soffio di vento

che va verso il Signore:

spalancare la vita

sull'eterno presente

che riempie il mio cuore.

Io mi sento disperso

nell'amore di Dio

che non finirà più:

ogni istante è una vita

che io sento infinita,

il mio soffio sei tu.

E cantare sui prati

sussurrando agli uccelli:

io t'invidio lo sai

per la tua libertà.

E sentirmi volare

proprio dove mi pare

per toccare il mio cielo

e arrivare di là...

[ Come Un Soffio Di Vento - Giosy Cento ]

So make a move, cuz i ain't got all night

2010-01-20T22:13:00.005-05:00

Boredom strikes!

Which leads to:

laying on the couch while playing Bubble Burst and listening to tunes on digital radio station,
doodling cute girls with cute hair and rockin' outfits and writing fake love notes that i never intend to send
giving up being bored.. and dragging my ass back online to be more bored over here

MissC is sick at home.. otherwise we would be somewhere else being bored together.. at least.. which would probably be less boring. But nothing is dull and boring when we go near it. Impossible. We make running laps around the airport an event never to be forgotten!

But she is sick. And I am car-less. So, I blog.

While I was browsing away.. I came across an artist who is now one of my favourites. She is so beyond talented and I want one of her paintings on my wall. Look how amazing these are:

Anyhoo, you must go and check her out here audrey-kawasaki.com

On another note.. I'd just like to add that I'm 40 days away from completing my 365 Days project. I'm actually a tad sad about it.. but I'll be glad to not have the pressure of having to take a foto every single day. I will compile a collage of sorts when I'm done and make a post about it. Maybe...

Two more weekends until it's dance time. I'm ready.

So.. Hey.. I'm sure you've all noticed I've completely revamped my blog. The old one was very dreary and dark.. and I was tired of it. I needed something a lot more bright and plain. Yep.

Sleep beckons me now. I'm an old fart and I have class tomorrow.

Plus, I'm getting my hair done. Tomorrow, that is.
I'm excited.

much love:
~G. xoxo.

P.S. This poem makes me feel ill. :(

Always, Sometimes, Never

2010-01-15T21:21:00.004-05:00

I stole this from my friend Jen's blog. She always posts amazing things... and I quite liked this little bit of thing she wrote out. So.. here is my always, sometimes and never list. I'm sure i could write a thousand more things for each of them.. but this is what i wrote for now.

I always:

- daydream
- want to learn new things
- keep a journal by my bed (I should write in it more…)
- make wishes on things
- cross my fingers
- want to give everyone advice.. (even when they don’t ask)
- am polite
- swear too much
- listen to music
- have many projects on the go
- express my feelings through songs
- laugh. A lot.
- want to do everything
- speak in code and write words with hidden meanings
- say “dood!”
- have been shy when I like someone
- squish my moo moo kitty faces, Lilly
- cook too much food
- have an abundance of hope.. (though, I haven’t the faintest clue why…)
- was a loner by choice
- only buy AE boy undies
- rewatch my favourite movies several times
- want to be just the way I am

I sometimes:

- really love cheesy songs
- am not totally and completely impulsive with my feelings
- become obsessed with new things I like, then lose interest quickly
- read my own books (that aren’t school textbooks)
- buy things I do not need
- bite the inside of my lip
- wear make-up
- sing loudly while walking & listening to my headphones (when no one’s around..)
- imagine things that were never really like that. Ever.
- put the music full blast and dance around like a nutcase
- wish the way I thought about things was different. It would be so much easier…
- make crafty things & bake cuteness
- watch my VHS tapes and listen to cassettes, while my sister laughs at me

I never:

- find what I’m looking for
- am clingy.. and I hate clinginess in people
- take naps
- get over it
- do what’s best for me as much as I should be…
- go after boys I like. Ever. If they really liked you, they’d go after you.
- let my friends down
- want to go back
- want to be a dull grown-up.
- throw out my shoes
- will outgrow No Doubt. Ever.
- leave my hair my natural colour cuz I think it’s so dull
- know how to say what I want. So.. I just don’t say anything at all.
- want to stop caring this much
- untie my laces when I take off my shoes
- want to live far from my family
- understand most people
- expect anyone to understand me
- want to let the magic die

Be Bold. Be Brave. Be... Blue?

2010-01-12T23:07:00.002-05:00

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

I feel the need to post because I want to blog and post all kinds of stuff..... but I have a bit of an issue. I've been feeling SO uninspired lately. I'm not sure if it's because of the doldrums of winter that drag me down... or if it's because I've just been too busy lately without anything really new and exciting to add zest to my life... but either way.. I feel as if I am in some sort of stagnant lull for the time being and I'm not quite sure how to veer out of it... or if I'm supposed to be out of it right now. Either way, It's driving me insane. I crave something new and invigorating so so badly... it hurts. A bit dramatic.. aren't I. ;D

My incessant need for grandeur, glamour and greatness is a tad suffocating at the moment. Not that I need to be great and glam or anything like that. I just need a little bit of spice and seasoning to flavour it up for a short little while at least. Unfortunately... being a student who has taken out no loans and is paying out of her own little pockets means that I have neither the time nor money to do so. Mostly... the time.

I could sit here and post random crap that means nothing... or I can sit here and bitch and whine about shit that I'm not pleased with as of late... but it is nothing new that I haven't dealt with previously.. so, even complaining about it is boring.

I can post fotos of cute and fun things... like, my cookies:

my super duper most amazing mittens:

me feetsies in these B-A-N-A-N-A-S toe socks:

....but my fotos are all dull and boring too lately. As I'm nearing the end of my 365 project... I've run out of ideas for fotos as well as the motivation and drive to conjure up exciting and incredible photo shoot ideas. Blah...

I'm so bored with myself that I'm even sitting here rolling my eyes thinking.. "yer gunna post this crap..? Really?" .. hahaaaa yes.. I frequently have conversations with myself.

I know that I have a crapload of plans for the near future and I know that in time there's a big change coming on... and I'm excited for all of it. But I'm impatient. And I want something new.. as of yesterday!! and not tomorow.

So, I say to you all...

Somebody; Anybody.. come and inspire me. I dare you to.

much love:
~G .xoxo.

Baby, It's Cold Outside

2009-12-11T15:00:00.002-05:00

BRRRR!! it's minus 17 degrees outside! How ridiculous is that??!?!
ouch.

This is me bundled up to the max-core so that I don't freeze my Ta-ta's off!!!
hahaha

Classes are done. finito. Christmas break commences now.

I have a flurry of events to attend and a bunch of loose ends to tie up!
How exciting! err.. or sumpin. hehe

Time to wrap up a very loooong and tiring year.
......and it's not that bad at all. nope.
:)

Happy Holidays Everyone! ^__^
much love:
~G. .xoxo.

(my lovely Christmas tree)

My Fotos & Halloweenies

2009-11-08T11:25:00.003-05:00

So, a while ago, my fotos were chosen as possible submissions for this online mapping/info website called Schmap.com. I just got an email today saying they chose my fotos! How exciting! I've had people blog my fotos and post them on forums so many times in the past.. but this is the first time they were chosen for something a little more official. Yay!

My two fotos that were selected are below (click on the foto for the Schmap website)

Sneaky Dee's

Niagara Falls

Fun, right? :))))

ok, so.. halloween was last weekend and clearly I make the most out of my fave holiday. For the JK/SK class, I had to wear something a little more cute instead of my evening costume.. or I might terrify the kids and send them screaming home having nightmares for years to come.. hehe

(an aside: i'm not sure if i had mentioned it previously, but I volunteer on Fridays at a school nearby. I help teach the kindergarten class. It's a lot more work than I thought... but it's completely amazing still. One day, I'm going to break out with "it's NOT A TUMOR!!" just for shits and giggles.. hehe)

So, during the day I was Fafi Fafinette! If you don't know who that is.. then you gots issues! but.. for those who don't know, ... LOOK:

Yep. cute huh?

so, here's me and my darling camera wh0ring it up though I'm sure she's much cuter than any Fafi could possibly be.

and then for the Saturday night, my friend MissC joined me as a Fafinette and we were Fafi twinsies! this one girl at the club actually recognized us, to my amazement. haha nice.

Fafi Twins:

ok. so, for my Friday night big party.. the main event.. i was dressed as.. you ready for this..?? ;)

B e e t l e g i u s i .

HA.. i friggen LOVE it. weeeeeeeeeeeeee

too much amazingness. i love love love Beetlejuice and being the chick version of him was pretty awesome. Then i lead the crowd into the Thriller dance.. too much awesomeness in one night.

You can see fotos from the night over here:
Halloween Fotos

So.. that's all for now. Some brief updates here:

School is kicking my ass hardcore right now. So many assigments and reading to do.
I've been fighting off this borderline cold for two weeks now.. but i refuse to give in and it hasn't taken over yet. sleep. vitamin C & D. and LOTS of fluids. yeah yeah! :))
Fuck the H1N1 vaccine. I'm not getting that shit. It's insanity that they're pushing everyone to get it. Insanity! I refuse, i refuse, I REFUSE!!
I hate the colours of this blog. i've been browsing constantly for something better cuz i so need to change it but i'm really picky and haven't found the perfect one yet.
I've started playing football again (soccer) contrary to my doctor's orders. I like it.
California here i come! three more months... :)))))
Paramore and A Fine Frenzy's new albums are way amazing. you HAVE to get them.
My 365 project is 2/3rds of the way done. yay!

K.. that's it.. that's all. Have a wicked rest of the weekend and WASH YER HANDS PEOPLE!!
*mUaH* .xoxo.

Thrill The World!!

2009-10-26T16:12:00.005-04:00

Hey everyone! As I'm sure anyone who knows me well already knows... my most FAVOURITE time of year is quickly approaching. Yep. You guessed it.

H A L L O W E E N

oOOooOooOoooOooooOOoooOOoooOooh....

I don't normally blog anymore cuz I'm way too busy and already am finding it difficult to keep up to date with my 365 uploads... but I really wanted to share this with all of you cuz it was so so amazing!!!

Not sure if any of you have ever heard of it or not.. but there's this annual event called Thrill the World. What is it you ask? Well.. it's everyone in the world dancing to Thriller at the exact same time! That's what!! haha.. if there's something more amazing than that.. then please.. let me know. :))

i LOVE the Thriller dance... and after seeing 13 Going on 30 (one of my fave movies) I've been obsessed with doing the Thriller dance at events and such. So, imagine my excitement when I heard about this thing happening.

Anyhoo... this year's event brought in a number four times the amount of last year's event! WOW! that probably has a lot to do with the fact that MJ passed away. (RIP)

So.. i would just like to take this opportunity to post a video of this year's Toronto event that had nearly 200 people. So, check out us zombies dancing to Michael Jackson's Thriller.
And I hope you can all make it out to next year's event!!!

I'm teaching lessons as well for those attending the huge Halloween bash this Friday night and will be leading the dance to Thriller at the party and I cannot wait! :)))

Enjoy the video .xoxoxox.

For more information on the Thrill The World event and detailed step-by-step instructional videos on how to learn the dance, please visit their website: thrilltheworld.com

Here are some photos as well.

Zombified me:

My Goodlife dance group:

(minus a couple of people)

That's it everyone. Enjoy the holidays.
Stay safe & Have fun....but most importantly:
HAPPY SPOOKINGS & HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!!

A Year's End

2009-09-14T23:02:00.004-04:00

so..today is officially the last day of my 30th year. and what a long and eventful year it has been... with so so many crazy things that happened.. and unfortunately.... with some very tragic things that happened.. :`(((

it has definitely proven to be one of the hardest years I have overcome in my entire life. with so many downs and dips of despair... and a fountain of tears the never ceased to overflow....

but i have to hold my head up high.. because the ending of this year has proved to be a turning point.. and things seem to be brightening up ahead.. for the first time in a long long time... and I'm excited about what the future brings and all the things I cannot wait to take on.

Here's to my dirty thirty... and all the rest that comes along with it.

:))))) ♥

(Taken directly from my 365 post for today)
________________________________

Before I end this post, I need to add one more thing.
I finally saw my most favourite girl in the world!!
I won wristbands to a live taping of a Drew Barrymore interview at MuchMusic. How freakin' RAD IS THAT??!?! Seriously.. she's so much amazingness!!!! :))))))

My life is now complete.
BEST.birthday.present. ever!!! :))))))

(the photos are blurry because we weren't allowed to use flash.. and plus my batteries were dying. i know! suckage! but i cannot complain.)

And I would like to end this post with a lovely video.. one of my favourite songs ever.. and a tribute to mister Patrick Swayze. RIP.

Tempesta d'Amore no more....?!?!?

2009-09-04T19:54:00.006-04:00

Ok. So.. i have a HUGE beef to pick with E!Montreal ... and their decision to pull the plug on airing Tempesta d'Amore.

I don't really blog all that much anymore... but I've noticed that a lot of people have been visiting my blog as of late looking for information on a new channel where it might be airing or why it ended or how it ended... etc. (Although, I would like to add that it's nice to see that people are actually visiting my blog for stuff that's been posted on it and no longer just stalking it a trillion times a day for sheer boredom or insanity. You pick.)

So.. as you ALL may or may not have known... E! Montreal pulled the plug on airing this italian dubbed soap and went on a Tempesta marathon for a couple of weeks.. having shows twice a day and on Sunday as well.. finally ending it all on the very dreary day of August 30th. *devastation!!!*

Now.. i'm not sure about all of you.. but I record my Tempesta on my PVR box and i catch up on it whenever I can. I'm very busy most times.. as i am a full time student and work as well.. (although this summer, i've worked beyond full time hours to pay for my tuition and then some. and.. i would like to add that i barely made a dent in anything. so so sad..)

anyhoo.. For those who are avid watchers and following closely.. you're already aware that this 3rd part of Tempesta was focusing on Samia and Gregor (my love) and their on and off again romance. Now.. what i do not understand is.. why the hell the rush to end the show and air it twice a day and on sundays too... and then not even end up FINISHING the storyline?!?!?!? what the HELL??? i do NOT get it!!!..???.!?!?

Clearly, by looking online.. you KNOW they get married. Yet.. they do not even GET to that point.. what the hell..????

And let's not forget the 4th storyline.. (oh yes.. there's a 4th)...
Of our loveable Felix and the ever so cute Emma. (seriously. she's so friggen adorable. i love her and felix together and it bugs me that now i'll never be able to even SEE any of that! *shakes fist angrily!!!*)

I'm sorry if I spoiled that for you.. but yah. that's who was shackin up next. don't act so surprised as if you didn't see it coming.. besides.. Felix is long overdue for a romance. ;)

((( You can watch the Sigla for that 4th storyline here: --> CLICKIES )))

So........ why end it without an ending? i don't get it..?? and will it be airing again? on another channel??? another time??? another planet??? who the hell knows anymore! all i know is that i am VERY upset... (no, seriously. i am not even wanting to watch my taped Tempesta shows.. cuz i don't know what i'll do when i have no more... I will have some serious withdrawals.. lol)

SO... i URGE anyone that has ANY information on this.. .to let me know asap. please! it would be so so greatly appreciated. you have no idea. :))))))))))))))))))) .xoxoxoxox.

And........ that's pretty much all i have to say. Except for this next babble (feel free to skip this lame deep verbal vommit part.. now. hahaha)

School starts next week.. my birthday is coming up and Saturn (the planet of life lessons) will be finally leaving my sign from when it entered a year ago. And many lessons I have indeed learned this entire year. With my passport renewed, new beginnings and old tales buried far behind me.. I can finally begin to establish some kind of new life.. in a way.. for myself. I feel terrified of what life swings at me.. but excited and ready to take it all on. And so ready to welcome something completely new and brilliant my way. :))) Hooray for September. Hooray for me.

And ONWARD with yer Tempesta searches!!! Do not disappoint me people!!! *mUaH*

much love:
~G. xoxo.

It's Summer Time.

2009-08-17T19:16:00.003-04:00

Wow. It seems as if the entire summer has slipped past my fingers. I've been working my butt off with insane hours. Not taking out loans for school calls for some hefty pay outs lol but what gives me comfort is that I won't have to pay a cent to one damn person once I'm done. Though, I must say.. with the disgusting weather we've had for most of the summer.. I do not feel too badly about missing out on anything.

Though the summer was slow and severly lacking in excitement.. things slowly seem to be getting back into the normal groove. I guess it always works that way. Elena just came by and it was such a nice surprise! :)) I haven't seen her all year! Not since the lil' going away party we had for her a year ago. Although i think the most excitement that night was the dog humping my leg HAaaa. So, she's back now.. after a year of teaching in Korea. A lot of my friends have been doing stuff like this.. so, i've actually been kicking the idea around myself as an option for when I'm done school. Can't hurt, right? :)

I don't really have a whole lot to blog about.. haa. i just kinda missed spouting out crap onto the interwebs to share with the unknown world and of course my friends.

Things seem to be turning over a new leaf and I have a good feeling that it's going to be pretty alright straight ahead of me. Yep. Cuz I said so. and i know so. and that's how I roll... :)))

And since i just spent this precious space blabbering on about nothing.. i'm gunna go now and eat chips and dip while i watch tv like a lazy behotchie face. I have loads of my shows to catch up on. haaa. and i'll leave you with this most lufferly picture of one of my sweet angels. so you can swooOon over her cutie face too. dooo eeet!!! :))))

ciao.xoxox.
~G.

Time heals all.. so they say.

2009-07-23T10:30:00.004-04:00

Today is 6 months since my cousin Giacomo passed away.

I miss him loads and family functions will never ever be the same without him. He was always so dramatic and funny and lively. With his bright eyes and enormous smile and boisterous ways. He definitely had a remarkable way of capturing the audience's attention.

His birthday was last week on the 14th. He would have turned 30. We went to the church where he was married (and where we had his funeral mass) and we wrote messages on little note cards and tied them onto balloons and let them go into the sky. It was a very beautiful and peaceful thing.. and it made me smile seeing the balloons ascend into the heavens. :)) I know that Liz appreciated it a lot and made her feel better. My heart goes out to her the most in this time of need. She truly is a strong and amazing woman. I love you Liz! *hugs*

Let us not forget the most important and magical moments in our lives. For they are what make us who we are today. I would never trade all the memories I've ever had just to have avoided all the pains in life. Not in a million years. I cherish those good times more than anything. They are what gives breath to my lungs.. light to my eyes.. fire to my heart and this incredible energy to my soul.

It is better to have experienced such amazingness in your life and the pain that comes alongside of it.. than to never have had the chance to enjoy those incredible moments...

I miss you. Forever.

The leaves are changing colours...

2009-06-26T14:08:00.005-04:00

I have an ear infection. Or something. It's driving me insane. I have a few updates.. I have posted on my giusi.foto blog.. but I don't feel right about blogging on there as I only wanted to use it as an outlet for my photographs. So, if you care to see photos of both my No Doubt concerts.. you should check there.

But.. i will tell you that they were simply amazing. Amazing. I was 3rd row centre for the Toronto show.. and right in the front centre at the Darien Centre show. (FYI.. that venue SUCKS balls. never going there again). No Doubt is my one true love in terms of music.. and hey.. you know how I am.. i can't ever stray far from that and they will forever hold that cherished spot in my heart. Cuz.. that's just how i roll. And you know this. :)

Anyways, I don't have a whole lot to say. I finished the (looong) school year and i PASSED my classes! *hooray!* I'm working.. a bit now. Relaxing. Enjoying my time off. My cousin Luca in Italy is getting married today and him and his wife are doing a little North American tour for their honeymoon and he'll be here in Toronto in about a week.. so, that's pretty exciting. I haven't seen him since the last time I went to Sicily and visited.. nearly 5 years ago i think.

We all know about the Michael Jackson incident. I feel that i need to mention it in my blog because it came as a shock and surprise to me... I feel a little terrible.. but I really do hope for some peace now that he is gone. The poor guy went through so much during his life..and i know things were messed up only as a result of everything he went through as a child. Stardom for a small boy can do a lot of damage.. as we have all witnessed. losing 3 icons at once is pretty major. RIP Michael Jackson.. the king of Pop. as well as Farrah Fawcett and Ed McMahon.

It has also been 5 months 3 days ago since my cousin Giacomo passed away. He is still greatly missed. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him.. :((( I love you for always and you are a great big shining star in my sky forever. *tanti baci e abbracci amore* .xox.

There isn't a heck of a lot happening in my life.. it all pales in comparison to the great deal of other things happening around me. My sister was in a car accident.. she is doing well now. I cut my hair and donated.. (which i'm sure you saw already on my foto blog)..

I feel as if I'm on some sort of hiatus, if you will.. going through a lot of self discovery.. and there are moments of great joy.. and great sadness... as i wander on towards what i feel is the right path for me. But i really need to do it on my own. Because I've become so reliant on someone else making me happy without even noticing when I spiralled into that direction. It isn't who i am.. and i don't know when i became that person. and i hate it so much... so, it's a constant struggle learning to make myself happy. Learning to be who i am. and who i was. and learning how to separate.. so to speak. It's a lot harder than you think.. it seems nearly impossible sometimes.. but other times it's easier. Either way.. you know me. chin up. strong willed. i'll get through anything.. even if i'm down on my knees and bruised to shit... lol i'll still plow on ahead with a handful of giggles. :)

So, that kinda ends my blog for today. I wish everyone well wishes and lots of love. No matter what, there isn't a day that goes by that I'm not overwhelmed with tremendous love and amazing memories. That I will cherish for the rest of my days. :))

I'll end it with this song in loving memory of MJ.

Here's to fond memories...

Out of Service.

2009-05-14T12:34:00.008-04:00

I decided to make a post because my sister Carro bitched me out the other day because I never blogged anymore. I don't think I really have anyone really following me on here apart from her... but alas.. thought I'd post this regardless. Let you know that I perhaps am jumping ship..

For as long as I remember I've always blogged.. my old stompin' grounds used to be on Xanga.. I always needed some kind of outlet for my thoughts and feelings. My emotions are usually super intense and all over the place and if I didn't have somewhere to purge them.. I just felt like it would cause way more damage than good by holding it in and they'd eat away at my insides. It sucked.

But lately, I find myself more pensive than anything else. I write more poetry.. or try to. I know it's mostly cheese.. hehe but it's a good outlet for me. And for quick and brief updates, Twitter is perfect for that. I don't need to write up a blog about how I'm sad or happy or took a wicked picture or bought cute new shoes. Easier that way.

Plus, since I've taken on this 365 project on Flickr, I often use my daily photos as a journal of sorts. It works out. It's cool. With my photo taking and editing skills improving, I might start just posting in my Foto blog more often than here if anything.

I'm bored with myself and with so much around me lately. I'm not going to run out and look for some superficial cheap thrills to fill that void for me because I know they're only temporary and will make me feel worse in the long run. I'm searching for something bigger and better with much more meaning. I need something with substance to fill my life with because it just feels so hollow right now.. with the weight of these four walls pressing down on me. Work.. school.. eat.. sleep.. this.. that. But never anything that adds such richness and vibrance to my everyday surroundings.. I need more. I need a lot more. And I'm going to find it. :)))

With that being said, I'm sorry if you were avid followers of my blog and I'm letting you down.. (somehow I highly doubt that.. hehe).. but you're more than welcome to follow my Twitter for immediate updates and good tunage recommendations. Yep. I'm obsessed with blip.fm because it's most awesomeness. And my links list on the right side of this page for my other pages is still available - with my poetry, food and foto blog listed as well as a bunch of other links. I'm an internet whOre... but I'm sure you already knew that. ;)))

You can keep tabs on my daily happenings with my 365 project if you'd like. Just click HERE for that.

I also post regularly on here:

- My poetry and other scribblings -

- My fotos and Flickr activity -

Much Love:
~G. .xoxo.

Gavin Rossdale @ Danforth Music Hall:Toronto

2009-04-26T17:08:00.003-04:00

Ok.. i would just like to say that Gavin's vocals have always been simply fucking amazing. He sounds just like he does on his cd's. He's effin brilliant. And.. although I must admit that i'm not the hugest fan of his solo stuff.. I will forever be the biggest BushX fan. And you have NO idea how upset i was.. (well.. not upset. fucking THRILLED really).. that he played stuff from BushX. and had i known he would... i would've packed all my memory cards with me so that i could have filmed all his songs. *pouts*.. but seriously.. seriously?? can i be any more fucking happy? no. i think not. amazing concert. totally took me back.... WAY back.. lol from when i was a wee lass.. of about 16-17 and i first saw Bush X in concert at the Warehouse. AMAZING concert. and he's still so the same as back then. I had an amazing time with my ladies last night soaking up the Gav on stage... *swooOoon* Although he didn't play Little Things.. (haha like scott had asked for me to shout at him..and also, my favourite song).. i could not be disappointed with all the other songs he sang.. including Everything Zen, Come Down, Machine Head and Glycerine. : ))))

So, here you have it. A short video I took of Gavin singing glycerine last night. Although I'm not sure how long it will be available before youtube pulls it.. lol (my google uploader isn't working for some reason. bastards!)...

And another short clip:

the others aren't very good quality and not worth posting.

But you can see the photos i snapped over here:

Gavin yumminess overload. xoxoxox.

That's it for now.. err.. i have to go be distracted with other stuff now.

*floats off...*

Tanti Auguri di Buona Pasqua!!

2009-04-11T14:13:00.003-04:00

I just wanted to wish everyone a very Happy Easter. Hopefully you're spending lovely times with your loved ones. :))

Hugs & Kisses from me .xoxox.

Btw.. this site is pretty fantabulous.
Check it out!!
and add my profile!
::click click clickies::
and check out what song i'm loving at the moment.

:))
share music.
and hugs.
and love.
:)
*mUaH*

I've been away for a while..

2009-03-24T00:17:00.004-04:00

Today is two months that my cousin Giacomo passed away. Me and my sister went to his grave site to leave some flowers. Although, I do not feel his presence at all when I am there. I am aware that his soul has departed from his body.. still, I am happy to be able to leave my token of love and affection somewhere.

I still can't believe that he isn't here anymore. Every smile and laugh I share with his wife and beautiful children is simply the most amazing and heart wrenching thing I can ever experience. Knowing full well that my cousin will never be there physically to enjoy them that way.. and knowing that my baby cousin's will never ever have the chance to meet their most amazing and incredible dad. I want to tell them about him forever. I'll never ever stop missing him.

I haven't really posted too much lately cuz i don't really have a whole lot to say. I've been mostly keeping to myself these past few weeks. Perhaps hibernating and going into seclusion of sorts. I've been doing a lot of reflecting on things.. and what's important... and what isn't. I guess something like this happening really does open your eyes and gives you a whole new appreciation of love, life and living.

I've definitely been re-evaluating my priorities.. and all those things I've wanted to do.. but i'll do later.. well, I'm not gunna do them later. I'm going to do them now. While I still can. Why wait for tomorrow? Too much postponement on life... too much hesitation.. and time wasting. And then.. one day you realize that all you ever really wanted was at your fingertips. But you let it pass you by. And then.. well, then.. it's just too late.

The world doesn't stop for you. Not for me. Not for anyone.

It's time for me to live my life for me.

I have a whole new awareness that I never experienced before. But it's a good feeling. And I feel more alive than ever. I'm so thankful for every minute I have.. that brings such wonderful experiences to my life.

I have no regrets. I have no resentment. I have no hate or ill feelings. I just have a hope that will never stop burning bright. And my heart is full of a Love that will never ever run dry.

I wish well wishes upon everyone.
Do not be selfish. Do no regret.
Make the most out of everything... and do not waste any amazing oportunities that life gives you. Trust me... they will not come by you again.

"A mighty pain to love it is,
And 'tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain."
~ Abraham Cowley

The Real Thing.

2009-03-11T15:15:00.002-04:00

This is my favourite song off the L.A.M.B CD by Gwen Stefani. Well, probably my most favourite Gwen solo song. Anyhoo.. they used the *slow jam* version of the song.. which i love much better than the actual album track which is a bit more dancey. :)) It's a really sweet song. There's no official video for this song.. but this is the video they played in the background during the concert. Check it out:

Are you a good friend?

2009-03-11T12:16:00.002-04:00

"The best antique is an old friend." - Anonymous

Even if you aren't an antique lover, you can probably appreciate old things. The most worthwhile, long-term investment you can make is investing in relationships. A healthy, edifying friendship can have a huge impact on your well-being, character, and even your success. Old friends have seen us through celebrations, grief, births, graduations, marriages, and so much more. They love us for who we are--warts and all! Think about the most formative friendships in your life and consider writing a note of appreciation to each of your friends. Maybe there are some buddies that you need to reach out to because they have a need, or others you just need to reconnect with. Your gratitude shows them that they are cared for, which everyone needs to know.

-- taken from Spark People's Healthy Reflections.

Time slips through our fingers....

2009-02-28T19:46:00.004-05:00

My heart is broken... I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. I have dreams... And the tears won't stop falling..... I miss you Giacomo. I don't know why you left us so early... I don't think it's right. You should have stayed with us longer. You had your whole entire life ahead of you. It's not fair! It's just not fair! I feel like I've lost interest in every single thing around me and just want to stay alone behind closed doors..

I never pictured every minute without you in it... oh, you left so fast... :`(((

I don't know what a life worth living is anymore....
:`((((

I can see your face in our secret place.

2009-01-24T08:50:00.006-05:00

Yesterday a hole was made in my heart bigger than anything else I've ever felt in my entire life. My cousin Giacomo passed away. I'm having a hard time accepting this. I still cannot believe it's true. I expect him to come waltzing through the door any minute.. being all silly like he usually was.. and laughing, joking and all dramatic. He was classic for his hilarious scenes.

No words can express the loss and hurt and pain that I am feeling. I am in such a state of shock and disbelief. My heart goes out to his mother and father... my cousins and his brothers Michele, Giovanni, Gaetano & Vince Anthony and to his wife and babies he left behind, Elizabeth, Antonina and Vincenzo. I love you guys so much. I have a lot of cousins.. but you guys are the only cousin's I've ever really known. You guys are like brothers to me and the most dearest to my heart ever. I love you i love you i love you..

I'm posting this because I want everyone to know about him. I wish everyone could have known him and had the pleasure of his company because he had a marvelous way with people. And I never want anyone to forget him. I never ever want to forget about him. He should be here now.. he should not be gone....and I will never ever for the life of me.. accept this and understand why this happened.

Baby boy, I will forever miss our singing, our playing... I will forever miss your smiling face.
:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

~ RIP Giacomo. ~
July 14th 1979 - January 23rd 2009
Ti amo per sempre e mi mancherai per il resto della mia vita.

Wishing you were here with me...

And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
God wouldn't let it live...

Earthbound Starlight.

2009-01-21T22:38:00.004-05:00

I wanted to post Duncan Sheik's newest video. I'm absolutely in love with this song. I've had it posted on MySpace for a while now so, you may have already heard it on my page before. Anyhoo.. CHECK out the video! It's amazing! I loveth him. and this song is so beautiful.

-------------

EDIT: -- i had to remove the embedded video because it was playing audio ads on my page.

You can click here to see the video. :)))
SEE EARTHBOUND STARLIGHT HERE

-------------

In other news: Paramore is opening for No Doubt!!!! hell fucking YEAH!! :)))))))

ciao ciao.
*mUaH*.xoxox

Freddo!

2009-01-20T21:41:00.002-05:00

DAMN. it's fucking COLD outside. this.. is.. why.. i need.. to ... move.. FAR AWAY. where it's forever warm. and a paradise of sunshiiIIiiIiiNe and warmth and palm trees. or sumpin like that. cuz i need bellisima summer days. and not this stank ass frigidness that is our winter. yep.
:)))

I don't have anything to say really. But i felt bad cuz I never post in here anymore. I'm really too busy but I swear I'm still alive and kicking. Wildly! hehe

Oh.. i can leave you with a picture of my new coat. yah.. it's not some glamourous photoshopped pic like i normally post. so, tough titties. this will have to do. i look all shiny and extra gross. but but but i couldn't care less cuz my coat is fucking cute and lovely. yes. it is. i love it. it's greatness. in a perfect shade of blue. i should wear more blue. it's my colour anyways for September.. but I don't think i own too much of it. i think everything in my closet is black. Haaaa.. anyhoo mother licker. hehe.. here's my picture. it's nasty. but my coat is fucking kick ass. and my room is a sloppy mess. so, don't mind it.

Oh OH oh.. and if yer bored and have a Twitter.. (or if you don't).. you can check me out on there and see what i'm up to. cuz i know you REALLY want to know and keep tabs on me. Haaa.. right. anyways. i have to go do stuffs. you know all those kinds of stuffs that you have to do. right? right! :)))))

Ciaociao.xoxox.

I can go to the Ocean.

2009-01-08T23:49:00.002-05:00

Just wanted to say HAPPY NEW YEARS to everyone! Hooray for a fantastic year that lays ahead of me.. well, and all of you too i'm sure. hehe ;))

Florida was fantastic. The highlight of my trip was me swimming in the ocean. Yes.. i'm well aware it was pretty fucking cold by the ocean. But ... i'm kinda kooky like that. and yes. i ran in. haha the waves were so fucking mental and high. Beach patrol drove by and yelled at us to get out of the water. Pshaw..

Anyhoo. Big hugs and kisses to everyone and hope this new and fresh and awesome new year brings you everything you wished for and a whole lot more!! :) *mUaH*

(C'ést Moi.. in the Atlantic Ocean.....Being pummeled by huge ginormous waves.)

Missing Persons: Ani Ashekian

2009-01-05T21:52:00.003-05:00

A friend of mine asked me to spread the word about this. One of his friends has gone missing and everyone is being asked to help in some small way or another. Let's hope and say a prayer that she does make it back safely home. Please repost this on your blogs or anywhere people can see it and let others know. Spread the word! Thanks so much! : )
_____

Ani Ashekian has gone missing. She traveled from Toronto to Beijing on Oct 24th, 2008. She then traveled to Hong Kong on November 9th.Her family and friends have not heard from her since November 10th. If you have seen her, please email FindAniAshekian@gmail.com

Watch the video for more information:

Facebook group:
MISSING: Ani Ashekian

Buon Natale a Tutti!!

2008-12-21T22:09:00.005-05:00

Just wanted to wish everyone a wonderful and very Merry Christmas! This is my lil'gift pour vous. Yes.. i sang expeshiallies for all of you. Feel special. hehe Have a GREAT week and even better New Years. I'll be leaving Friday for Florida. Don't miss me too much.
big hugs and kisses!!! .xoxoxoxoxoxo.
:))))

(oh and don't forget to pause/stop the music in my player before you hit play.)

-- and yes.. i DID say FUCKING PIE in the song. hehehe ;))))

Arcobaleno.

2008-12-19T16:15:00.003-05:00

There is the sun. And there is the rain. Being quite opposite in nature, very seldom they will appear together. But those times when they do, a magnificent rainbow appears in the sky. And although it is not often.. when it does appear, it is the most beautiful and radiant thing there could ever possibly be.

Inked Nation.

2008-12-13T11:03:00.003-05:00

Wow! I just logged onto inked nation today and I was on the front page...and i was like.. what the hell?? :/ lol Apparently, I'm one of the featured people on Inked Nation this week and you're posted right on the main page. That's mental! I have no idea how that happens. And I have no computer right now so, there's no way I can check that stuff out. I already had nearly 400 new msg's in my inbox. Holy hell!!

Anyhoo, friends.... if you have an account on there.. add me! :)))
www.inkednation.com/giusi

Now, I gots to go... I smell some chocolate chip pancakes being made for me.
:)))

*kisses*

A Long December

2008-12-01T13:43:00.002-05:00

Hey, it's me. :)

I feel like writing a rant up... but I never have enough energy to focus on these negative things anymore. But I will say something.

It's funny how people make bad choices and wrong calls, cowardly weak attempts or really nothing at all.. but then after all is said and done, they still point the finger at you. Failing to admit their mistakes and forever claiming to be the good guy in the grande scheme of things and the other people were the ones who wronged them. I've heard the story so many times that I've memorized it. Eventually, you reach a point in your life when you realize that they're just making excuses and molding the scenery to fit their needs so that their fault in all of it can escape it. Nobody wants to be guilty. Nobody wants to be the bad guy. But you think because you deny it and claim otherwise that you don't feel it deep inside? Or maybe they don't feel it deep inside.. I'm not in their shoes and I couldn't even begin to imagine what goes through other people's minds. And I'm most definitely not about to start right now.. I have my own mindless banter in my head to worry about. hehe

What's my point. I'm not sure I have one really. I'm not angry anymore. I'm tired of being angry and let down. I feel sad because I guess it's what one does when you care a lot for people who can't think about anything outside of themselves for one instant. Being outside the comfort zone. Taking what someone says and running with it because we're all right and they're all wrong. Right? err.. or something...

For those people, I honestly wish that the choices you make will bring you the happiness that you were seeking. I hope that the hurt you caused people in the interim was all worth it for you. Because if you got what you acheived in the end.. then I guess for you it was well worth it. And fuck everyone else's feelings. Because honesty and sincerity pale in comparison to immediate wants and needs. Isn't that how it is? When you're seeking highs from the instant gratification of passing things.. but then they grow stale and you need new highs. When you're life is so hollow that you need to fill it with enormous things constantly to keep you feeling full and satisfied.

But really.. you don't need these passing material things and shallow temporary feelings to replenish your life. Because, they are exactly that. Temporary. What you need is something bigger than you. You need larger things to fill your soul. It's what counts at the end of the day. It's what ultimately satisfies your cravings and more importantly... it's what stays with you forever.

I am not sorry for giving people the trust and chances I have in the past. Everybody deserves to be heard. Everybody. And I'm not sorry for walking away from them because you can try to brave a storm, but you've got to be some kind of idiot if you choose to live in one.

No Doubt On Tour!

2008-11-23T21:00:00.003-05:00

Yes. That's right. You are not dreaming. They're back.. with a vengeance. And you can bet yer friggen ass that there isn't anyone in this world happier than me right this very moment.

:))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Hell Fucking YEAH!!!

LONG LIVE NO DOUBT!!!!!

Check their website for more info.

Love.

2008-11-15T22:50:00.004-05:00

"Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited; it is not rude and does not act unbecomingly. Love does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything without weakening. Love never fails."

F for Fake.

2008-11-13T21:30:00.002-05:00

It's over today
The heat is gone
Time is gone
F for fake
I feel no wrong
Hide no wrong
I love this place
The lights
Under this face
So dry

Only way to change
Give yourself away
Don't be ashamed
Next in line
Close one eye
Just walk by

In these days
I'm breathing stone
Crying alone
I'll win this race
I'll leave alone
arrive alone.

Love this place
The lights
Under this face
So dry

Stripped to the bone
I did no wrong
Truth is my name
Give yourself away

F for fake
F for fake
F for fake
F for fake
Give yourself away
Give yourself away
Give yourself away

----

You tell me you like the taste
You just need an excuse
You tell me it calms your nerves
You just think it looks cool
You tell me you want to be different
You just change for the same
You tell me it's only natural
You just need the proof
Did you fucking get it?

IT'S IN MY EYES
AND IT DOESN'T LOOK THAT WAY TO ME
IN MY EYES

You tell me that nothing matters
You're just fucking scared
You tell me that I'm better
You just hate yourself
You tell me that you like her
You just wish you did
You tell me that I make no difference
At least I'm fuckin' trying
What the fuck have you done?

IT'S IN MY EYES
AND IT DOESN'T LOOK THAT WAY TO ME
IN MY EYES

[ Minor Threat - In My Eyes ]

Don't choke on the stardust baby...

2008-11-12T14:12:00.004-05:00

In case you haven't noticed.. I changed my layout/template. I was bored with my old one and needed a change. I'm not too fond of this one to be quite honest.. but it was the best I could find. I have no time to make my own and I don't like to stay for a long period of time on my sister's laptop cuz it kinda sucks.. (my computer is broken right now and it's gunna cost me $200 to fix it. Being a broke student sucks sometimes.) So, whenever I get a chance and find something a lil'better.. I'll probably change it again. In the meantime.. this one is kinda cute I think.

Since we're on strike and I have all this extra free time, in between catching up on some readings, I've decided to clean up. I started clearing out ALL my closets and drawers. I just dumped everything on the floor. I threw out so much crap, I'm donating a whole whack of stuff and I'm packing away several other items that don't need to be around anymore. Wow. I cannot believe how much accumulated crap one person can have! Seriously.. I am way too sentimental and hold on to the weirdest shit. haaa.. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Anyhoo.. it's way overdue that some of that shit should go. Purging is good for the soul. :)))

I've been feeling better lately. Since my last ranting post, I've tried to look for ways that I can help myself and others. There isn't a whole lot I can do to change other people's ideas/thoughts/ways etc.. so, it's best that I don't dwell on those things and think positively and work on ways to improve and better the things that are well within my means. Sounds like a good sound plan if you ask me.

With that being said.. I wanted to post an old song on here that I heard and I love.. but I can't seem to find it anywhere on Youtube or anywhere else. That kinda sucks.. but oh well. I'm sorry that I can't share it with you. It's a nice song. It's called "Picture Elvis" by Moist. If you get a chance, download it and listen to it. It's pretty great. Moist in general is great.. well, David Usher is pretty talented I must say. I'm a fan.

By the way, I made up a new blog. It was just something I thought of and I'm really excited about it! Check it out here and let me know what you think.

Wow.. i'm listening to Max Trax the Edge on Rogers digital cable (it's my fave station on there) and they're playing a whole whack of old songs that I haven't heard in years! I love it!! :))) So, with that being said... I'm gunna go finish cleaning up my stuff while rockin' out to awesome tunes. HA.. that sounded pretty lame. ;))) K.. i'm gonzo.

.xoxo.

Lest We Forget...

2008-11-11T11:13:00.005-05:00

Let us remember all those who have fallen to defend our country

and mourn for these fallen heroes of ours.

And let us hope & pray for a time

when we will no longer wage wars

and end this devestating loss of life.

York on Strike.

2008-11-07T19:28:00.004-05:00

No school... 'til who knows when.

Just greaaat.... : /
I think somebody up there just doesn't want me to graduate!!!

At least I can work some more hours and save up for Florida.
or at least some cute new clothes...

.xoxo.

Baby Zuma.

2008-10-30T20:10:00.003-04:00

Finally.. after over two months, Gwen Stefani releases the first baby photo of lil'Zuma on her website. Can't say I'm too crazy about his name... but he's a real cutie. :)))))))

(click photo for larger view)

The Sun's Getting Cold, it's Snowing..

2008-10-21T16:59:00.004-04:00

You know... I must admit.. I've been in a bit of a rut as of late.. and I'm having a really hard time with a lot of things. A really hard time. On how mankind is not a selfless being and is so enveloped in their own ego. The possessions of material wealth and expensive items. Of show and grandeur.. and a bunch of other things. Of looking out for our own best interest.. instead of holding out a hand to your dear friend. Showing signs of caring is weak.. being cold and detached is much better. It doesn't matter if you step on someone else.. use their feelings.. care less about their best interest.. for just a little bit.. as long as you benefit somehow... or maybe just to pass the time. It's only something small and trivial. It will not hurt them. They will not care. They'll go on just like the rest of us do. Who really cares about heart anymore these days. Who really cares about foundations of truth and honesty and love and respect. Who really cares about humility and sacrifice any longer.

I do. And some other people do as well... but it appears to me.. that these people are falling through the cracks.. because they are so grossly outnumbered by the hordes of other people out there.. ready to trample all over you at the first sign of advancement.. or ready to jump ship and abandon you at the slightest signs of distress...

And it saddens me to such a degree.. that I find it hard to face my everyday life. If you disagree with me, then I challenge you to prove to me otherwise because from what I have witnessed in these years of my life.. the exceptionally good (if not the relatively good) are very few and far between.

I do not make myself out to be some saint by any means. We all have our faults and Lord knows I have many. My biggest one is that I lack the motivation to pursue something with great intensity. And my second is my pride.. which often makes me unable to forgive so easily. Maybe that's my first. And I'm sure there are many others...

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this post. I know I have a lot of feelings right now.. and they are swarming in my head.. like the worst of raging storms I have ever seen. I don't know what to think or feel. I am overwhelmed with feelings of grief, sadness, disappointment, discouragement, anger, disgust .. only to name a few.

We are not important in the grande scheme of things.. and the sooner we realize this... maybe the sooner we will learn to be a more sensitive and caring being. Because I think it is vital for the survival of our entire race, that we change drastically.. and quickly. Because this survival of the fittest method.. will leave many behind.. and the fittest, will be very lonely at the top. And eventually die out. Leaving no one and nothing.

These are just my thoughts and feelings. And I know that I want to do so much.. and say so much.. because i feel SO much. And I cannot turn it off. I know I have to do something. But I'm not sure what. How.. or where.. and why? Because the feeling within me is greater than anything I've ever felt before. And call me delusional or sappy or pathetic.. but I do care. And something needs to change now.

So.. I'm going to get up and start doing something. And.. I sincerely hope that many others will take my lead and do the same.

We need to be better. Because.. we aren't. We suck. A whole lot.

And we should be ashamed of ourselves.

And I do not know how these people can go through life so effortlessly without feeling this deeprooted shame.. because I know I feel so badly for things I have done and wish to make up to errors.

And sometimes I have. And sometimes it works out for the best...
and other times... it doesn't.
and what you thought was a simple apology..... would lead you down a dark road that you never dreamed you would go down.

Right now I'm just rambling... and perhaps not making much sense to many.

So, I ask you this. Can you look at yourself in the mirror and be proud of the person that you are and all that you've done and how you have treated everyone in your life? For the choices you've made.

Basically.. I would like to send a wake-up call to everyone in the world. To re-examine what it means to be human.

Because if what I see around me today is what it means to be human.... well, then.. I can honestly say that this is a life I no longer want to live.

: (

You killed the light. You'll never see it again.

2008-10-19T19:58:00.006-04:00

Last night was so much fun!! It's the first time, in like two months, that I've been out with friends for a night on the town. and i had a friggen awesome time! and i met Gowan's little brother!!! bahaha that's too hilarious! :))
I decided that I wasn't going to let me being sick get in the way of some fun. I deserved it. Err.. now i have to save my monies for my Florida trip for New Years. i'm SO friggen excited!!!! ;D w00t w00t.

Cheers!

She said you're killing the light
You'll never see it again
We come to suffer I said
I won't be fooled by the light
I won't be fooled by the lie

The easy road lies in wait
Takes it's toll and all it desires
Leads you blind
Leaves you there
Takes your heart and leaves you in silence

She said don't leave us behind
We'll never be here again
Our lives are closer this way
I won't be fooled by the light
I won't be fooled by the lie

The easy road lies in wait
Takes it's toll and leaves you in silence
Leads you blind
Leaves you there
Takes your heart and all that you wasted

Look what you've started
Look what you've started
Look what you've started
We're all broken hearted...

If I Were A Boy.

2008-10-17T12:21:00.002-04:00

Beyonce's new single/video. Very powerful and touching...
I think she probably couldn't have said it any better than she did here.

Cake Wrecks

2008-10-15T17:29:00.002-04:00

My sister sent me this link. This blog is hilarious! Well, maybe for some. Basically highlights poorly made cakes.. or just plain disaster cakes. Good times for other people, who like myself, are stuck home sick with plenty of yummy coughing and sneezing to go around and surfing the net while simultaneously catching up with Tempesta.

Anyhoo, check out this site for a good laugh. :)))))

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

P.S. I'm sad that the Conservative party won..but at least they are still a minority government. Next time we will get it right. Next time, you people should get out there and VOTE! Hooray for Democracy!!! :)

Autobiography.

2008-10-14T19:36:00.005-04:00

I had to type this out for one of my classes.. and hey, what the hell, I thought I might as well post it up on my blog too. Now you can read all the nitty gritty about me. Cheers!! :))))

P.S. Don't forget to go VOTE today!!!!

___________________________________________________________

Autobiography for Giuseppina

Born: Friday, September 15th, 1978

Sun sign: Virgo

Birth City: Toronto, CANADA

Giuseppina was born the third out of four girls from lovely parents Gaetano and Teresa. Both parents were born and raised in a very small town in Sicily, which is in the south of Italy. They came to Canada 30 years ago with their first daughter Carolina, who was already nearly 3 years old. Upon arrival to Canada, they didn’t waste much time and shortly after had Francesca, Giuseppina and Luisa. She is very close with her sisters and all four of them are not only siblings but are also very close friends.

Giuseppina was a quiet little girl growing up. Usually keeping to herself and creating her own stories and scenarios with her dolls and making up plays and musicals with her friend for her family to see. She attended Catholic school until she graduated high school in 1996. She then went to a public school to get credits in courses that were prerequisites for college but were not offered at her school. Along with those much needed computer courses, she also took many personal interest courses such as fashion arts, digital photography and Spanish.

After she finished high school, she thought she would take some time off before continuing her education and started working full time as a medical secretary. After some time, she started taking part time courses in college towards her computer programming diploma. In 2000, she started working as a clinical research assistant for Women’s College Hospital affiliated with University of Toronto. She worked there for nearly 6 years, taking on many projects in hopes to advance. When it became apparent to her that they had no intentions of letting her advance to her desired position, Giuseppina had a choice to make. She could either stay and accept that, find another job, or quit her job and go back to school full time. She decided to quit her job and go back to school, a hard decision as her parents were not supportive of this. Having given up on the computers route she had taken a few years back, she decided to go to university and remain in the health studies field as it is where she has mainly worked for the most part. It is also the area that most interests her and what she would like to seek a career in.

School was going fine for Giuseppina and she was quite content to be attending lectures and doing assignments, regardless of the age gap between herself and her classmates. For the most part, many of her school friends had no idea she was a “mature” student and thought she was the same age as them so, she had no problems fitting in. Everything was grand until last year.

In September of 2007, Giuseppina became very ill. She was off school for nearly three months and was in and out of hospitals as they tried to diagnose her condition. They tested her for Meningitis, Rheumatic Fever, Limes Disease, West Nile Virus and a whole slew of other things. The virus was so debilitating that she was forced to stay in bed for the most part because her limbs were in so much pain and she had little or no use of them. Pain was so severe that medication did not help and sleep would not come at all. Eventually, the virus seemed to have disappeared on its own. Due to the lengthy time off school, she had to drop out for that school year, a decision that was very upsetting for her but she felt she had no other choice. Later on, some of the underlying symptoms persisted on and off. Through continuous testing with her doctor and researching on her own, an answer was finally found. Early this summer, Giuseppina was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. There was very little known on this condition to herself and surprisingly, to her doctor. She began to research it extensively and looked into ways that can help her cope with it.

In the fall, Giuseppina once again began another new school year at York University. This time around, it is a more difficult feet. With symptoms of the condition persisting, it is difficult to keep up with her courses.. The main symptoms that make school and everyday life difficult for her are the extreme fatigue and low energy levels, the low concentration and poor memory retention – also known as fibro fog, as well as the other moments known as “fibro-flares” when you go through periods of time, some lengthier than others, where the pain persists and becomes burdensome. Thankfully, it is not all the time. However, she refuses to be discouraged and will continue to forge on ahead and complete her studies and receive her degree.

Giuseppina is a very warm individual who cares deeply for her family and her friends and treats them with utmost respect. Her love for animals runs deep and she has recently become a vegetarian after witnessing how horribly animals were being treated. She is barely ever serious with friends and loves to have fun, laugh and make jokes. Moments are to be enjoyed and socializing with friends and family should always be important in everyone’s life. Being honest and true are of utmost importance to her and she would go to the ends of the earth to help out a friend in need. Her kindness and generosity are recognized by her true friends and her need for maintaining a peaceful environment seems to be a never-ending quest.

She really hopes to change the world, or at least add something brilliant to it. There is far too much good energy inside of her and she will not stop until she has made a difference to any, if not all, persons that she comes across in her lifetime.

The following URL is a brief slideshow put together with photos of various important and fun times in her life:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jM8UUn1RVto

What are you thankful for?

2008-10-13T02:17:00.003-04:00

There's just so much that I don't understand... and to be quite honest, I know not what to do with all of this confusion.

:(

Happy Thanksgiving Day.

My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing...

So yummeh!

2008-10-10T17:06:00.004-04:00

These are the best things ever. OK... maybe not the best.. but seriously close to it. They are DAMN good.

Flat Earth's veggie crisps!! The Tangy Tomato Ranch ones are soo delish! :)))

so.. yah. They're made from rice flour, potato flakes and a vegtable blend. AND they are glutton free! Go get'em at yer local grocery store!

Happy Snacking!!! ;)))

much love:
~G..xoxox.

You betcha!

2008-10-07T12:44:00.002-04:00

Wedding bells rang this weekend for my little cousin Giovanni and his beautiful bride Francesca. I want to sincerely congratulate them on their lovely union and I'm so happy to have her as a new addition to our family. She is an amazing and wonderful woman and I'm happy to call her my cousin! Buona fortuna!! Tanti baci! .xoxox.

As for me...

I was getting down & dirty on the dance floor.. with my footwear of choice.. naturally.. hehehe ;)))))

I'm procrastinating hardcore right now. I should be working on an assignment.. but I'm ready to pass out from exhaustion right about now. But.. alas.. i must kick myself in the ass and GET CRACKIN' :D

Happy October everyone! And don't forget the most important day of the year is coming up in 24 days!!! Well.. next to my birthday of course.. hehe ;))))

much love!.xoxox.
~G.

*mUaH*

I was posted.

2008-09-23T17:17:00.002-04:00

I have decided that although I will not be using my blog to write about personal things anymore.. I will still use it as a tool of relaying information and updates as it is most useful. :)))

With that being said.. my poetry blog and foto blog will remain active as usual.

On the subject of my poetry blog.. my latest poem was posted on a friend of mine's blog. He is an excellent musician and I am flattered that he enjoyed my poem and wanted to post it on his blog site. :)))

You can check his site out here: The Musical Revolution

I have also added it to my blog roll on the right hand side.

Cheers!
~G.

How do you do the things you do sir?

2008-09-02T10:01:00.004-04:00

I'm not really sure how everyone else thinks and why they act the way that they do.. and I can't begin to imagine why. It's not something you'll ever learn. It's sure to drive you stark raving mad.. cuz you're left questioning the reason of things and how the very people you care about so much .. could be the ones that hurt us so so much. When there's something more to come.. but then nothing to come out of it.. When you were tied up and then strung along.. with no real destination. And there's nothing I can do but to walk away and let it bleed dry.. accept the plan.. and move ahead. And know that my love is worth so much more than that.

Of a flame that once burned so brightly. A flame that once lit up my whole entire life. A fire so deep and wide, it engulfed me throughout the years.

A flame... that has finally gone completely out.

This will be my last post on here. Goodbye.

Earthlings.

2008-09-01T14:00:00.002-04:00

We are a despicable race. We should be ashamed of ourselves for the lack of respect and compassion we show to one another and to other inhabitants of our earth. We are disgraceful; without remorse; cold and detached and never faltering in our destruction upon the earth, its resources and all of its species. I can only hope that one day we can fix everything... but it will take a really big effort on all our parts. But we are humans. Vain and selfish. Rulers of the earth. The best.. or maybe the worst of the lot.

We are in desperate need of a change.

I think I'm coming down with something...

2008-09-01T02:15:00.002-04:00

Insomnia sucks the bag. Seriously.. one of the many lovely symptoms of my lil'autoimmune disorder that i gots. good times. I'm aching all kinds today.. ouch. :((((

So, I start school on Tuesday and I'm excited about it. I can't wait to dive straight into all those lectures and discussions. Good times. : ))) Hopefully I'll have time to join wind symphony this year. I'm gunna be a lil' sad though cuz loads of my friends won't be there this year.. (Kurttttttt i misss you already!! *tear*)

As most of you already know.. (ha.. ya right!) I'm a huge fan of the Joe Fresh line by Loblaws.. huge (EEEEEEEEEUUUUGE!) supporter! Not many people know.. but the designer who designs for the label used to be Club Monaco's designer. So, it's really awesome stuff.. super great quality.. and DIRT cheap. yes.. i strongly recommend it to everyone. I bought some new school duds there today. It was pretty exciting cuz they were playing the entire L.A.M.B CD while i was in there.. so, I got to listen and shop.. very good times. err.. except when Serious came on.. haaa.. i'm the biggest spaz in the world for real. I'll be the first to admit it. i'll never be able to get my emotions in check. the song used to be someone's ringtone... so, i kinda got a little teary eyed when it came on. yah.. i know. i have issues. : / apparently.. hey.. i'm upset. i won't deny it. but what can ya do?

errrr.. yah. so, moving along. My cell phone is SO busted right now. Completely broken. Fukkkked to the core. And even my old spare one is messed up. So.. i have no access to any of my contacts.. so, i'm so so sorry if yer not hearing from me.. i don't have yer number. so, leave me a voice message or sumpin and i'll check it from another phone. don't even try to text message me.. cuz there's no way in hell i can read them or will ever get them. I have to try and get a spare from someone.. cuz i refuse to pay to repair my phone cuz stupid ROgers are robbers and BIG TIME fuckers... so, i wanna wait til my contract gets renewed.. (in the new year) so i can get a new phone.. which is virtually for free.. :P The only reason i still have Rogers as my network.. is cuz i still have my corporate plan contract from when I worked at the hospital. and it's CHEAPPPPP... hah soooo yah. suck IT!!! in the meantime.. if any of you lovely people have a spare celly lying around from Rogers.. and you wanna be sweet and lend it to me.. i'd love ya forever and ever. amen. yep. thanksssssssss

K.. it's nearly 3am.. and i have to friggen crash.. i can't even hold my head up anymore................. Zzzz.. err. nightnight.xoxox. : ))

I'll leave ya with the song of the day....... Serious by Gwen Stefani.

Everything has changed...

2008-08-26T16:47:00.001-04:00

You're not the same at all..

2008-08-25T18:56:00.005-04:00

You let me fall..."

You know that feeling of the rug being pulled from underneath you? That's probably a huge understatement about how I'm feeling right about now.

I've always been a very emotional person.. not because I'm a weepy person.. but my emotions have always been so strong and intense.. and it's hard for me to keep them under control sometimes and under wraps. I react quickly.. but hey, I'm honest and I'm true.. and you know that what you're getting is for real.. and alive. Not just some lifeless log who couldn't care less whether or not anything in their life came or went.. acting completely unresponsive, cold and so indifferent. I don't understand that at all.. and it really fucking hurts more than you'll ever know.

You think you really know someone.. that someone you'd fight for 'til the last of days. You think that maybe you meant a fraction of something to that someone. Maybe for an instant only.. or maybe never. But.. that person is just not the same person at all. Just a cold and hard wall of blank nothingness. I am so completely sickened by the thought of everything right now. I don't know if I should yell or scream or cry or die.. To think that something that was the most important thing to you.. well, that you were really only there to pass the time with in the daily grind of life. Really nice, huh? I know so many people will say, "Why are you so surprised? You should have known better." But the truth is.. I honestly didn't know better. And my heart told me to go for it.. because this time.. it was right. How could I be so wrong? How could my gut instinct be SO dead wrong this time around? How could it fail me? I'm so speechless from the lack of reaction and care and concern.... and what bothers me more than anything else is that all that ever was in the past.. the most glorious of days.. the most happy of times... the most purest of loves.. has being completely and entirely replaced with these new harsh memories. Of cold, vacant, dry, uncaring and empty moments that, in the end, really meant nothing at all. I'm devastated and there isn't a damn thing that I can do about it.. cuz it has nothing to do with me anymore. I was never an important piece of the game plan. Maybe for a fleeting moment I was .. but it vanished quickly.. and ever so effortlessly... and I finally just realized, that all my love was in vain. All of it. and I hate to have to write it on here.. but I need to say it out loud.. because I need to acknowledge how *real* this is.. and that all of this really did happen.. the way I think it did. The way I know it did. The way I can't believe it did...
: (

I wasn't expecting this at all.. and yes.. yes, I am surprised. Yes, I am hurt. Yes, I am so destroyed by this. Yes, I'm angry. Yes, I'm disgusted. Yes, I'm horrified. Yes, I'm sad. Yes, I'm completely heartbroken.
: (

Thank you for tarnishing all my good memories and erasing anything positive that I had left of us.

Now... from all that there ever was... there will remain absolutely nothing.

"Washed up on the shore
Given one last chance
To try some more
But I'm tired, I'm freezing
Let's stop and call it history."

Thank You. ♥

2008-08-22T02:08:00.003-04:00

The past few weeks have been really hard for me. I'm going through a rough patch I guess you can say. Mainly with the stress of my parents health, my own health.. school starting.. these long ridiculous hours I've been working and it being a new job on top of that.. and then.. this very tiring and mournful matter of the heart that has taken all that was left completely out of me.. which I never thought could be possible... but it was. :(

Today, the young girls I've been training all week surprised me with a 'Thank You' card. I was so touched by their action and it really brightened my day. They were so thankful that I was training them and how nice and helpful and patient I was being with them (even though it's just part of my job.. ) that they went out of their way to choose a card for me and sign it with some very nice, thoughtful words. This has got to be one of the sweetest things ever and it meant so much to me. The highlight of my day.. my week! It's so very nice to know there are genuine people who really do care out there.. and maybe all is not in vain. Who knows.. but I'm very thankful for them to have shown me their own gratitude with this extremely sweet gesture of theirs.

A little Thank You.. really does go a very long way. :)))

devi farti una ragione..

2008-08-20T23:21:00.002-04:00

come si sente quando il proprio grande amore della tua vita..... non sceglie a te?

a pezzi??

forse... ma ti assicuro che ti senti molto più peggio di quello..
Non c'é più niente da fare...

Allora... capitolo finalmente chiuso.

La storia finisce così. Ci salutiamo.. e andiamo avanti...
.. con il tuo cuore e la tua anima completamente frantumato.

Addio... addio. :(

No big surprise, we turned out this way.

2008-08-18T21:08:00.002-04:00

For the first time in my life I feel defeated. I don't know what to say anymore and what to think or feel. I feel as if I'm in this nebulous existence with a blur of scenes whizzing by me at record speed. I fell to the ground quickly with a big thump and now I'm standing completely still and I'm too paralyzed to move; to get up and turn around, whether forward or backward or anywhere.

I've always had this tremendous heart full of so much hope, no matter what life swung at me. I could always cope and find ways to carry on and find the light at the end of the tunnel; find the right in the midst of all the wrong. Somehow, those days seem so far away from me right now. I don't have the will to pick myself up anymore and dust myself off and plow forward. I'm so disillusioned.. no, I'm destroyed for lack of better words.. destroyed by the impact of everything that I've endured. Seems a bit dramatic maybe.. but if you could see inside my heart and soul and see the suffering that I've been through in the many years that have already past in my life.. then maybe you would understand a little bit more. I don't expect you to... I can't understand mostly anything myself these days.

I'm at a loss. I sincerely do not know how to carry on anymore... and quite frankly, I do not care to anymore...

Marble Cheddar Cheese.

2008-08-16T11:08:00.002-04:00

This post was inspired by my little sister and the countless amounts of customers that ask me for this cheese. Ok.. SO, let me just let you on to something. Apparently, LOADS of people think that marble cheddar cheese is a blend of mozzarella and cheddar cheese.

.....

.....

: /

Yes! i know! RIDICULOUS! First of all, the consistency & texture of both cheeses are so different, there's no way they'd bind together so perfectly and look identical and melt together so easily. Think about it. Or not... hehe

so.. let me be the first to tell you all: THERE IS NO MOZZARELLA IN MARBLE CHEDDAR CHEESE! I think having the word CHEDDAR in the name is a dead give-away that this is in fact a cheddar cheese product. Marble cheddar is exactly what it says.. Cheddar, with a marble looking effect. How do they do this? Well, you see.. they take WHITE cheddar.. (oh my! yes! there is such a thing! in fact, cheddar is white.. and they add a natural additive/colouring to make it that dark orangey/yellow colour!).. and then they take the orange cheddar.. and MIX'em together.. and VOILA! marble cheddar! Pretty AWESOME huh? ; )

I just felt the need to inform the population of this.. because it seems to be something quite a lot of people seem to have no clue about. And for a cheese expert like myself.. *insert fromage snobbery here*.. hehehe ;) ... well, it was driving me up the wall! Yep. THat's right. I needed to set the record straight. It was vital for me to do in my lifetime. hehehe ; )

I, personally.. don't like it much. Mostly because they tend to use mild cheddar to make it. Which is bland with little or no taste. I prefer Medium to Old cheddar cheeses.

So, go cut yerself a hunk of some cheese and EAT IT and enjoy!! : )))

The end of this anchor...

2008-08-03T19:30:00.002-04:00

This isn't how it's supposed to be.

It weighs down heavy upon my heart.
I have no words left. No actions. No fight left.
No hope. No expectations left. No surprises.. No life left.
It's all so gone.
And the only thing I have left is this emptiness
that's completely paved over what was once before.
Of a hollow feeling that means nothing in the end.
And i hate what it's become.
A mere vague scenario you casually stroll through while trying to pass through life.
I'm so saddened and i feel so little and helpless and invisible.
I feel so hopeless and futile... so detached.

It wasn't supposed to be this way... :(

Not my forté.

2008-07-28T00:00:00.002-04:00

I get absolutely hysterical when it comes to waiting. I could break into hives and lose my mind just sitting here.. counting the seconds.

Patience is something I have in abundance, yet I lack so much of.

These will be the longest 5 days of my life....

Wine & Woods.

2008-07-13T13:56:00.002-04:00

I'm happy to see that groovemonkey has his drinksomewine blog up and running again. If you're into wine and anything to do with it, you'll LOVE this blog. It's very thorough and interesting with lots of information about new wines, older wines, tips and tricks and advice as well as tonnes details about great new wine gadgets! Definitely worth checking it out. Bookmark it and pass it along to anyone you know who might be interested.

I'm off for the week! We're heading to Pog Lake in Algonquin Park for a week of camping. I'm really excited! Can't wait to take a bunch of photos. I honestly don't know how I manage to go camping. I absolutely detest almost ALL insects. *shudders*. I guess my love for the wildlife and nature overrides all that. :))))

Anyways, we're off! Happy Camping ;D

Life makes no sense at all.

2008-07-11T18:39:00.003-04:00

I seriously don't get it. I don't understand any of it. None of it makes any sense at all to me. If everything happens for a reason, then what the hell are the reasons for them happening?

Everything happens for a reason my ass!

Fugly has a new look this summer!

2008-07-07T16:57:00.003-04:00

These sandals are practically in every store this summer and adorned on the feet of many Torontonian ladies. If it's not these tall ones.. they're the shorter version of them.. which are still NOT attractive. TRUST me. Ok.. I'm seriously in LOVE with footwear and their supreme sexiness and most kick-ass-edness.. lol yes, i make up my own words. BUT LADIES.. these shoes are friggen gross and nasty and butt ugly.. no.. they are FUGLY FUGLY FUGLY. they do not make you look like some exotic Egyptian princess. They're gunna give you some funky ass tan on yer legs.. and that's always trés sexy.. right? right?? ;)))

anyhoo.. TWO THUMBS majorly down for this summer's big sandal trend.

SHAMMMONN!!

2008-07-05T21:45:00.002-04:00

hahahaha omg BEST SONG EVAH!!!1

[carro: paul] [me: michael]

Off the beaten path.

2008-07-04T12:27:00.002-04:00

Sometimes it's not about the difficulty of choosing the road less traveled or deciding just which road you should be taking.

Sometimes it's more about deciding to get off the road entirely because neither of them are going to lead you to where you want to be.

Sometimes you have to stop completely and let the realizations sink in.. because really, there isn't anything that you and your two little hands could ever possibly do to help your own journey along those roads... much less someone else's vacant, stumbling blindly ahead journey.

Sometimes... it just really does hurt a heck of a lot.

Agony & Irony

2008-07-02T22:04:00.002-04:00

Their new album came out yesterday. Go and pick it up. Cuz it's hot shit. HELL YES!
and Alk3 are fantabulouslyfuckingamazingggggggg!!!11!%#$@#888***!!!!! yep. true story.

you can listen to the entire album on their website or on their myspace page.
http://www.alkalinetrio.com/

Happy Pride Toronto!!!

2008-06-27T12:55:00.001-04:00

Photos from Toronto Pride Parade 2007.

Lei che soffre sempre come da copione.

2008-06-25T17:55:00.003-04:00

Tu che credi sempre in questi grandi amori, ma poi non è così.

Sunny D

2008-06-18T23:10:00.001-04:00

i NEED some right now. not now.. but RIGHTTTT now!

Back to work.

2008-06-15T19:20:00.003-04:00

Today was my first day of work at the new store.

It was miserable.

SHARKY sings No Doubt!!

2008-06-10T14:32:00.002-04:00

haaahaha. ok.. here's the deal.. i have to find ways to entertain myself while my sister is at work. and it's raining outside. and i'm stuck here. and she has a mic and a cam with this nifty little thingie on it that turns you into little animals and stufffs. anyhoo.... i present to you.. SHARKY! doing his rendition of Hey Baby by No Doubt!! ;)))))

FASHION Flash Mob.

2008-06-07T16:24:00.004-04:00

A flash mob is a large group of people who assemble suddenly in a public place, perform an unusual action for a brief period of time, then quickly disperse.
– Wikipedia

Today, at the Toronto Life Square at Yonge & Dundas, I participated in one of the coolest things ever. There was a FASHION Flash Mob put together by the people at FASHION Magazine as part of the LuminaTO: Toronto Festival of Arts and Creativity. It was seriously something really awesome to see and be a part of. Stay tuned for photos and videos that will be posted on their website: fashionmagazine.com

Best Buy, Worst Policy!

2008-06-06T13:14:00.002-04:00

I don't normally shop at Best Buy.. but I know a lot of friends that do. So, I'm posting this for them and for everyone else who happens to shop there. Working in retail, I can tell you that this is the most absurd thing I have ever heard of. It's poor practice and doesn't make for good business. Anyways, I just wanted you to be aware. Ciao. *mUaH*.xoxox.

* * * * *

Best Buy has some bad policies....

Normally, I would not share this with others, however, since this could happen to you or your friends , I decided to share it. If you purchase something from other stores and you return the item with the receipt, they will give you your money back if you paid cash, or credit your account if paid by plastic.

Well, I purchased a GPS for my car, a Tom Tom XL.S from 'Best Buy'. They have a policy that it must be returned within 14 days for a refund!

So after 4 days I returned it in the original box with all the items in the box, with paper work and cords all wrapped in the plastic. Just as I received it, including the receipt.

I explained to the lady at the return desk I did not† like the way it could not find store names. The lady at the refund desk said, there is a 15% restock fee, for items returned. I said no one told me that. I said how much would that be. She said it goes by the price of the item. It will be $45.00 Dollars for you. I said, all your going to do is walk over and place it back on the shelf then charge me $45.00 of my money for restocking?

She said that's the store policy. I said if more people were aware of it they would not buy anything here! If I bought a $2000.00 computer or TV and returned it I would be charged $300.00 dollars restock fee? She said yes, 15%.

I said OK, just give me my money minus the restock fee.

She said, since the item is over $200.00 dollars, she can't give me my money back!!!

Corporate has to and they will mail you a check in 7 to ten days.!! I said 'WHAT?!'

It's my money!! I paid in cash! I want to buy a different brand..Now I have to wait 7 to 10 days. She said well, our policy is on the back of your receipt.

I said, do you read the front or back of your receipt? She said well, the front! I said so do I, I want to talk to the Manager!.

So the manager comes over, I explained everything to him, and he said, well, sir they should of told you about the policy when you got the item.

I said, No one, has ever told me about the check refund or restock fee, whenever I bought items from computers to TVs from Best Buy.

The only thing they ever discussed was the worthless extended warranty program. He said Well, I can give you corporate phone number.

I called corporate. The guy said, well, I'm not supposed to do this but I can give you a 45.00 dollar gift card and you can use it at Best Buy. I told him if I bought something and returned it, you would charge me a restock fee on the item and then send me a check for the remaining 3 dollars.

You can keep your gift card, I'm never shopping in Best Buy ever again, and if I would of been smart, I would of charged the whole thing on my credit card! Then I would of canceled the transaction.

I would of gotten all my money back including your stupid fees! He didn't say a word!

I informed him that I was going to e-mail my friends and give them a heads up on this stores policy, as they don't tell you about all the little caveats.

So please pass this on. It may save your friends from having a bad experience of shopping at Best Buy

It's true! read it for yourself!!

click --> Best Buys return policy <-- click

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?type=page&contentid=1117177044087&id=cat12098